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[Itnetlolor]

I thought eye contact was biologically programmed into humans? Even some mammals? That whole thing from back in the days when we were lower down on the foodchain and would look to where others of us were gazing at to determine threats hiding in the grass or when we developed emotional intelligence and one-upped chimps with similar IQ by forming close-knit and increasingly complex cooperation

Evolutionary pscyhology

But aye, babies look at their parent's eyes to make them go "oh shit it's looking at me whatdoIdo!?" or something like that.

Being late into the bloodline (6th kid in my family), I have the opposite instead; which could explain why I hate eye contact as well. My parents (and countless superiors) looked me in the eye, or have done eye-contact discipline to me in order to set me in line or something. I mean, fighting with my siblings, we were put on chairs, facing opposite each other, and forced to keep eye contact for a minimum of 5 minutes in order to cool off our issues that started the fights in the first place. Good way to discipline kids, but has a nasty side-effect, like my case.

Well, that saved me 300 bucks for the week.

[NJW2000]

Not making eye contact is how we tell people to go away, or what we do when a situation is awkward, as eye contact supposedly shows attention. Pity if you don't function like that, but it's a social norm, so you'll have to buy into it, or form a community where that isn't the case. It's just like wearing clothes: being nudist is fine, but wearing clothes to work is the correct choice unless you work in a nudist colony.

In which case what are you looking at, you perverted

Aaanyway. Just meeting and talking to women with the thought of dating/marrying/having sex with/performing [FETISH:ITNETLOLOR] with them completely absent from your mind might be best. Forget that they're female. Unless I've misunderstood the problem.

[Itnetlolor]

Sad thing is, I've been doing that the entire time. Hostility as a response is the norm for me. I know how it feels to be Johnny Bravo, just by being myself; no goals, no strings attached. Hell, sometimes, I wonder if I have anything supernatural about me that just makes me a magnet for this crap (or people just plain suck by default). Had this theory since elementary school when being bullied was the norm for me.

[penguinofhonor]

You need to seek psychological help because this is an unhealthy way to interact with people.

Getting the hint (after the dozenth or so (minimum) failure), role reversal is my solution. Cease any and all approaches, and have women humiliate themselves approaching me instead. I may or may not be motivated to be trigger-happy shooting them down as harshly as I am familiar with as a default response (eg- public humiliation as a standard response; regardless if they're a 10/10, smart, kind, funny, etc.; I tend to strike rather indiscriminately.), so heads-up.

[Itnetlolor]

You need to seek psychological help because this is an unhealthy way to interact with people.

Getting the hint (after the dozenth or so (minimum) failure), role reversal is my solution. Cease any and all approaches, and have women humiliate themselves approaching me instead. I may or may not be motivated to be trigger-happy shooting them down as harshly as I am familiar with as a default response (eg- public humiliation as a standard response; regardless if they're a 10/10, smart, kind, funny, etc.; I tend to strike rather indiscriminately.), so heads-up.

What's wrong with trying something different, and keeping the risk values the same? All that changes is the roles. The female approaches instead of the male. Simple as that. I can't harshly turn someone down, but the girls can? Kinda one-sided don't you think?

Granted I may be a tad off-kilter (I'll admit, I didn't fare well over the ages), but who wouldn't after all of that, and sans help while at it (therapy was also no help)? Is it wrong for me to want to experience being the bad guy for once, after being the 'nice guy' for so long? What if I were an 'asshole' since the beginning and decided on this plan anyhow? would I still be advised the same thing (get therapy), or would it be expected of me to be such a heartless asshole, and you'd be wondering when I'll eventually be turned in to the authorities?

I need to isolate myself again. Plus, I might as well end the topic now, if at least to protect myself, from myself, from getting myself banned. I feel like I might incur the wrath of the toad if I carry on, and I like it here.

EDIT:
In case anyone still wants to carry on about "The dynamics of dating: What are the signs? Who should approach?", or whatever title this would have as a separate topic, go on ahead; but I will resist adding to it, if started, for my own sake.

[TheBiggerFish]

This doesn't sound like anything that'd invoke the wrath of the Toad, but, yeah, this is kinda awkward.

[Flying Dice]

I mean, I'm shy and awkward as fuck, but when it came down to it that shit was basically a girl asking me, "Hey, do you wanna go to [place] tonight?" or me asking a girl, "Hey, d'you wanna watch some movies tonight (while cuddling and &c.)?"

All of the crippling uncertainty &c. only persists if you allow it to. The key thing to remember is that everyone is that awkward and uncertain at some point, even if they don't show it. Most stay that awkward for a good long while, and the ones that superficially don't are just really good at faking it. If you get to the point where everyone in your age group is either married or genuinely comfortable dating, congratulations, you get to date when people are adults and mostly beyond all the window-dressing bullshit that teens and 20-somethings tack on to "Hello fellow unattached person, how'd you like to share a flexible degree of personal affection?" As long as you're not so inexperienced and incompetent that you'll disappoint your counterpart romantically, behaviorally, or sexually (as the case may be) it's almost entirely superior, barring (so I'm told) the relative lack of energy.

Nonverbal cues can be a pain and a half to sort out if they don't come naturally (even more so now that misinterpreting can lead to a empowered SJWomyn claiming that you (verbally) raped her instead of an awkward moment or embarrassing rejection), but people tend to grow out of the coy/macho bullshit for the most part. The ones that don't aren't worth the time.

[Orange Wizard]

Nonverbal cues can be a pain and a half to sort out if they don't come naturally (even more so now that misinterpreting can lead to a empowered SJWomyn claiming that you (verbally) raped her instead of an awkward moment or embarrassing rejection)

This actually happened to me not too long ago. I was half-asleep at the time and wanted to work out what her tattoo said (which admittedly would have looked weird). She got upset ("rapist~!") so I stared at her blankly until she got bored and left.

[TD1]

Well...she shouldn't have something meant to be observed on her skin if she compares people looking at her skin as being akin to rape.

[Orange Wizard]

It's kinda like the whole "trying to read a shirt" -> "stop staring at my boobs" thing.

[TD1]

Either way, your reaction was the correct one. Simply look at her, and by your silence speak a thousand words. Mainly ones of contempt.

[miauw62]

i just assume nobody is attracted to me, which hasn't failed me yet

[TD1]

I feel like I should insert something about expectations coming true here.

[TheBiggerFish]

I feel like I should insert something about expectations coming true here.

Yeah...

[Helgoland]

"Hello fellow unattached person, how'd you like to share a flexible degree of personal affection?"

Stealing this one, even if I'm probably just going to use it ironically on a certain friend after her current romantic interest fails.