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[Frumple]

"Okay, okay, so. We've got this thing. Several, y'know, well, many mile region. Pretty big place. Screwed up beyond pretty much all recognition, massively in flux, we're pretty sure the previous inhabitants of the area tore a hole in reality and just kinda' got buggered by it. Hole seems to still be there, shit crawling out of it, y'know, whatevs. Mostly stays in the same area, except those times it doesn't and kiiiinda' buries villages in mobile eldritch abomination wonderland. Occasionally sends shit roaming out of that can be roughly described as 'Horror from beyond the edge of existence.' Blights any and all land, water, food, etc., that falls under its influence. Crazy shit, yeah?

Anyway, yeah. Other bigwigs back home have been talking about cutting all funding for monitoring and keeping an eye on this pretty much completely unpredictable fluctuating hellscape. Civil war and everything, they wonder whether paying attention to what's basically Azathoth's dick flopping across the south-west chunk of the continent is really worth the dosh. You think that's a good idea? Give me your honest opinion, here."

"..."

Words fail me.

Spiderweb, Avadon 2, I get that you're trying to show something along the lines of political incompetence or conflicting interests or whatever, but holy shit, these fuckers have a literal hole in reality with shit crawling out of it and you're plot-lobotomizing them into thinking leaving that alone is even the most remote of desirable actions. And not even maybe scaling things back, doing the monitoring from a safer area until the rebellion is dealt with, just straight up packing up and buggering everything off and I guess just shoving dildos made of raw cocaine in their ears so they don't hear it when the screaming world-breakers from outside existence come to jam themselves up everything's arse.

I've been fairly well enjoying this so far, but good gods. What the hell. I think I just lost brain cells reading this initial quest hook. "Look around, talk to people, form an opinion as to if it's a good idea to keep an eye on this stuff?" "Look the goddamn hell outside you blathering idiot! My opinion is currently sodomizing your guards with a lava streamer, because that's what kind of shit happens out here and this shit leaves its borders This is not a goddamn question! There's no option two!"

Unfortunately not a conversation option. It should be.

[Yoink]

Just had to abort the mission I was playing in Helldivers to answer the phone. It was our new semi-housemate/lodger, sounding quite agitated. When I finally managed to work out what he was saying, all he wanted was for me to tell our other housemate (and his friend who got him to move in here temporarily) something about him losing his phone.

Why he couldn't call the guy himself (or message him at least) or simply wait until he saw him, I've no idea.
At least I'd only just started the mission.

[IcyTea31]

-snip-

To be fair, what exactly can a government do about such an occurrence? If they're throwing money at nothing but monitoring its progress in eating all of reality, maybe it actually would be appropriate to cut funding slightly. The only practical use for the data that I can think of is knowing where and when to evacuate. And monitoring the area for that could be done quite cheaply.

[Putnam]

how did that shield bug get in here

those things are loud af i didn't hear it at all

[Flying Dice]

Oh my god It's literally called handwavium I thought FD was being sarcastic there.

It's brilliantly ironic that a work with such a strong emphasis on imagination manages to demonstrate so little of it.

[Putnam]

Dude, like, really reading that description without knowing anything? Its creativity is my creativity: not actually fucking creativity. It's all derivative. Your most specific example was literally just a Macross reference.

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

...
FD, how do you find this shit?

[Eric Blank]

He has a cache of handwavium in his basement. Shit literally just pops into existence when he needs to hurt our brains.

[Putnam]

Dude, like, really reading that description without knowing anything? Its creativity is my creativity: not actually fucking creativity. It's all derivative. Your most specific example was literally just a Macross reference.

To be more specific about my creativity: creativity purely for the express purpose of avoiding actually having to be creative. I may be a bit hard on myself there, but then again there's no evidence that I'm capable of doing anything creative.

[Eric Blank]

The cat, willy, who hasn't been home for a week or two, just came in. He's eating and trying to get the ice out of his fur now. Looks like one of his paws is injured, bleeding. I can't tell anything more in the dark.

We all legitimately thought he was gone for good.

[Yoink]

The cat, willy, who hasn't been home for a week or two, just came in. He's eating and trying to get the ice out of his fur now. Looks like one of his paws is injured, bleeding. I can't tell anything more in the dark.

We all legitimately thought he was gone for good.

What a badass!
Be sure to give him a nice meal, lots of pats/pets and maybe even a saucer of milk.

[Eric Blank]

Milks frozen. He got chicken instead. Its midnight. My dad agrees its not a hallucination, so well be getting a look at himnin the morning when he's rested.

[Graknorke]

The cat, willy, who hasn't been home for a week or two, just came in. He's eating and trying to get the ice out of his fur now. Looks like one of his paws is injured, bleeding. I can't tell anything more in the dark.

We all legitimately thought he was gone for good.

Cats. Fucking cats.
Put him somewhere warm or something.

[Orange Wizard]

One of my cats spent a couple of days in a tree once. She just sat up there, chilling. Those animals are all crazy, every last one of the bastards.

[Avis-Mergulus]

I swear, all the brainpower of a cat is taken up by track_stuff.bin, hit_shit_with_paw.sh, and lodge_self_in_improbable_places.c, leaving no cycles for be_not_retarded.py and try_not_to_die.jar. My cat once ate half a sheet of tinfoil and then wandered around the house, vomiting little tinfoil balls everywhere. Everywhere.