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Author Topic: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O  (Read 14841376 times)

Frumple

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #93660 on: January 11, 2016, 12:33:01 am »

"Okay, okay, so. We've got this thing. Several, y'know, well, many mile region. Pretty big place. Screwed up beyond pretty much all recognition, massively in flux, we're pretty sure the previous inhabitants of the area tore a hole in reality and just kinda' got buggered by it. Hole seems to still be there, shit crawling out of it, y'know, whatevs. Mostly stays in the same area, except those times it doesn't and kiiiinda' buries villages in mobile eldritch abomination wonderland. Occasionally sends shit roaming out of that can be roughly described as 'Horror from beyond the edge of existence.' Blights any and all land, water, food, etc., that falls under its influence. Crazy shit, yeah?

Anyway, yeah. Other bigwigs back home have been talking about cutting all funding for monitoring and keeping an eye on this pretty much completely unpredictable fluctuating hellscape. Civil war and everything, they wonder whether paying attention to what's basically Azathoth's dick flopping across the south-west chunk of the continent is really worth the dosh. You think that's a good idea? Give me your honest opinion, here."

"..."

Words fail me.

Spiderweb, Avadon 2, I get that you're trying to show something along the lines of political incompetence or conflicting interests or whatever, but holy shit, these fuckers have a literal hole in reality with shit crawling out of it and you're plot-lobotomizing them into thinking leaving that alone is even the most remote of desirable actions. And not even maybe scaling things back, doing the monitoring from a safer area until the rebellion is dealt with, just straight up packing up and buggering everything off and I guess just shoving dildos made of raw cocaine in their ears so they don't hear it when the screaming world-breakers from outside existence come to jam themselves up everything's arse.

I've been fairly well enjoying this so far, but good gods. What the hell. I think I just lost brain cells reading this initial quest hook. "Look around, talk to people, form an opinion as to if it's a good idea to keep an eye on this stuff?" "Look the goddamn hell outside you blathering idiot! My opinion is currently sodomizing your guards with a lava streamer, because that's what kind of shit happens out here and this shit leaves its borders This is not a goddamn question! There's no option two!"

Unfortunately not a conversation option. It should be.
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Yoink

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #93661 on: January 11, 2016, 12:39:00 am »

Just had to abort the mission I was playing in Helldivers to answer the phone. It was our new semi-housemate/lodger, sounding quite agitated. When I finally managed to work out what he was saying, all he wanted was for me to tell our other housemate (and his friend who got him to move in here temporarily) something about him losing his phone.

Why he couldn't call the guy himself (or message him at least) or simply wait until he saw him, I've no idea.
At least I'd only just started the mission. ::)
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IcyTea31

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #93662 on: January 11, 2016, 12:46:07 am »

-snip-
To be fair, what exactly can a government do about such an occurrence? If they're throwing money at nothing but monitoring its progress in eating all of reality, maybe it actually would be appropriate to cut funding slightly. The only practical use for the data that I can think of is knowing where and when to evacuate. And monitoring the area for that could be done quite cheaply.
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Putnam

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #93663 on: January 11, 2016, 12:46:43 am »

how did that shield bug get in here

those things are loud af i didn't hear it at all

Flying Dice

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #93664 on: January 11, 2016, 01:25:11 am »

Oh my god It's literally called handwavium I thought FD was being sarcastic there.
It's brilliantly ironic that a work with such a strong emphasis on imagination manages to demonstrate so little of it.
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Putnam

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #93665 on: January 11, 2016, 01:26:55 am »

Dude, like, really reading that description without knowing anything? Its creativity is my creativity: not actually fucking creativity. It's all derivative. Your most specific example was literally just a Macross reference.

Execute/Dumbo.exe

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #93666 on: January 11, 2016, 01:59:03 am »

...
FD, how do you find this shit?
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Eric Blank

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #93667 on: January 11, 2016, 02:58:34 am »

He has a cache of handwavium in his basement. Shit literally just pops into existence when he needs to hurt our brains.
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Putnam

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #93668 on: January 11, 2016, 03:00:57 am »

Dude, like, really reading that description without knowing anything? Its creativity is my creativity: not actually fucking creativity. It's all derivative. Your most specific example was literally just a Macross reference.

To be more specific about my creativity: creativity purely for the express purpose of avoiding actually having to be creative. I may be a bit hard on myself there, but then again there's no evidence that I'm capable of doing anything creative.

Eric Blank

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #93669 on: January 11, 2016, 03:22:03 am »

The cat, willy, who hasn't been home for a week or two, just came in. He's eating and trying to get the ice out of his fur now. Looks like one of his paws is injured, bleeding. I can't tell anything more in the dark.

We all legitimately thought he was gone for good.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Yoink

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #93670 on: January 11, 2016, 03:31:59 am »

The cat, willy, who hasn't been home for a week or two, just came in. He's eating and trying to get the ice out of his fur now. Looks like one of his paws is injured, bleeding. I can't tell anything more in the dark.

We all legitimately thought he was gone for good.
What a badass!
Be sure to give him a nice meal, lots of pats/pets and maybe even a saucer of milk. :)
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

Eric Blank

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #93671 on: January 11, 2016, 03:35:38 am »

Milks frozen. He got chicken instead. Its midnight. My dad agrees its not a hallucination, so well be getting a look at himnin the morning when he's rested.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Graknorke

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #93672 on: January 11, 2016, 03:37:20 am »

The cat, willy, who hasn't been home for a week or two, just came in. He's eating and trying to get the ice out of his fur now. Looks like one of his paws is injured, bleeding. I can't tell anything more in the dark.

We all legitimately thought he was gone for good.
Cats. Fucking cats.
Put him somewhere warm or something.
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Orange Wizard

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #93673 on: January 11, 2016, 04:42:53 am »

One of my cats spent a couple of days in a tree once. She just sat up there, chilling. Those animals are all crazy, every last one of the bastards.
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Avis-Mergulus

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #93674 on: January 11, 2016, 06:10:17 am »

I swear, all the brainpower of a cat is taken up by track_stuff.bin, hit_shit_with_paw.sh, and lodge_self_in_improbable_places.c, leaving no cycles for be_not_retarded.py and try_not_to_die.jar. My cat once ate half a sheet of tinfoil and then wandered around the house, vomiting little tinfoil balls everywhere. Everywhere.
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