Mentioned I partake in the spice to a newly met Asian; we 5 set off to indulge in the spice. My credentials as a spice partaker were heavily on the line. He spoke in Urdu to the doner kebab chef, the words 'very very very very extra spicy' were muttered amidst a string of untranslateable curses. A fiver was exchanged, one twenty returned. A sprite in hand and banter in the land I awaited spice. We talked of many things, showing off injuries and making many philosophical inquiries upon the nature of cow and bull milk. The spice arrived, greasy chips and asbestos-red doner kebab looking innocent enough to my nose. To my right, a chicken tikka masala had arrived alongside my spice; the orange flooded the plate like the river ganges in monsoon season, the brave man eating it maintained it was fucking delicious. By the time this observation was made I had downed the salt tinged chips and three pieces of lamb. It was not spicy. Emboldened I wolfed down piece after piece over good converse on the cheap lighting and dingy flooring; on the wall a poster declaring that the ignorant never listened to Allah even though reckoning was close. More lamb found its way in my gullet, and it was horrendously delicious. Finally the critical mass was hit and I felt the Vietnam war spice my palette. For a brief moment physical functions ceased and animal instincts kicked in, physically forcing me to hesitate in my consumption of this caustic poison... Delicious poison. On my face no hint of spice betrayed the battle of wills going on within, my credentials as spice man ting rested on filling my hunger with this inglorious kebab.
Then suddenly there was only silence. The great inferno was gone. I took advantage of this nirvanan spice victory and devoured the last lamb, briefly alternating with the chicken to recover. Crafty deployment of chocolate orange and ketchup was utilized to speed recovery for the final assault. When at last I had finished I was fulfilled, but so cold. Goodbyes were made and we set off on four cardinal directions with the spirits of the damned dynsenterious casualties of the lands from Portugal to Malaysia within. Definitely in my top 10 for most spicy spice I have had. Considered a proposition from one of my older Asian friends for a can't handle the spice but cautioned him; there would be no winners in our battles of spice, only death.