Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Graknorke]

Okay, I was trying not to comment on this what with the risk of sounding conceited, but what is seriously up with this weekend? 3 people told me they had a crush on me, and of course I'm a jerk and refused them because it's online. It's still all very surreal though.

Spoiler: beep beep LCS pickup lines coming through (click to show/hide)

Daaaaaamn girl, I want to wrap your legs around my face and wear you like a feed bag!
---Wow, looks like I'm going to have to reward creativity tonight!

If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
---Yeah, and you're going to repay me tonight

Your parents must be retarded, because you are special
---I can drool on you if you like it that way

Do you work for the post office? Because I could have sworn you were checking out my package.
---It looks like a letter bomb to me. Let me blow it up

Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
---I hope you don't have a foot fetish, but I'm game

If I could be anything, I'd love to be your bathwater
---Come over tonight and I can show you what it's like

If I could change the alphabet baby, I would put U and I together!
---As long as you put a condom between them, I'm all for it

Hot damn. You're built like a brick shithouse, honey
---Hehe, I'll let that one slide. Besides, I like country folk...

You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me
---But you're not, so the pleasure's all mine

You don't sweat much for a fat chick
---Just wait until tonight, baby

Your lips look sweet. Can I taste them?
---Sure, but you can't use your mouth

What do you say we go behind a rock and get a little boulder?
---Oooo, we should get stoned too! Hehe

Stop, drop and roll, baby. You are on fire.
---I'll stop, drop and roll if you do it with me

I'm new in town. Couuld you give me directions to your apartment?
---But if we use a hotel, you won't get shot by an angry spouse tonight

Let's play squirrel. I'll bust a nut in your hole
---Winter is coming. You'd better bust more than one

Are you Jamaican? Cuz Jamaican me horny
---Let me invite you to visit my island paradise. Tonight

I'm big where it counts
---Oooo, let me see!

Let's play trains... you can sit on my face and I'll chew chew chew
---All aboard baby!

Do you want to see something swell?
---I'd rather feel something swell

Hey baby, you're kinda ugly. I like that
---You're not so cute yourself. Wanna get a room?

I know I've seen you on the back of a milk carton, cuz you've been missing from my life.
---That's sick. I can do sick tonight

Is it hot in here or is it just you?
---Not as hot as we'll be tonight you slut

Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
---You can apologize later if it isn't any good

Wanna play army? You lie down and I'll blow you away
---I hope we're shooting blanks, soldier. I'm out of condoms

I lost my phone number. Could I have yours?
---How sweet! You can call me tonight...

Hey pop tart, fancy coming in my toaster of love?
---Oh, man... just don't tell andybody I'm seeing you

What's your sign?
---The one that says 'Open All Night'

Your sexuality makes me nervous and this frustrates me
---My sex could do even more

Those pants would look great on the floor of my bedroom
---So would my underwear

You smell. Let's go take a shower
---Don't you like it dirty?

If you were a laser, you'd be set on 'stunning'
---Oh.. oh, god. I can't believe I'm going to date a Trekkie

Your daddy must have been a baker, cuz you've got a nice set of buns
---They make a yummy bedtime snack

Stand still so I can pick you up!
---I think you'll appreciate the way I move after tonight

Say, did we go to different schools together?
---Yeah, and tonight we can try different positions together

Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
---Yeah. I hope you remember the lube this time

I'm not the most attractive person in here, but I'm the only one talking to you
---Hey, I could do better. But I'm feeling cheap tonight

I have a genital rash. Will you rub this ointment on me?
---Only if I'm not allowed to use my hands

Is that a keg in your pants? Cuz I'd love to tap that ass
---Oh, it isn't safe for you to drive like that. You'd better stay the night

Hey, you wanna go rub one off?
---You bet, baby

Are you tired? You've been running around in my thoughts all day
---Then stop *thinking* about it and come over tonight

Can I lick your forehead?
---You can lick all my decals off, baby

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock!
---Goober. You wanna hook up tonight?

Fuck me if I'm wrong but you want to kiss me, right?
---You're wrong

Do you have stars on your panties? Your ass is outta this world!
---You'll have to whip out your rocket to get some. Let's do it

If you have heard all or any of these then you may very well not be real. Proceed to your nearest homeless shelter/abandoned factory for recruitment into The Squad.
We Need a Slogan!

[Rolan7]

Iunno, I feel like logically speaking being in a relationship would be better for my self esteem than not being in one,

Yeah this part was what got me.  Probably since so many people insist it's true, trying to "help"...  It's just not for me though.  I've been in several nice relationships but they were really just friendships with benefit - the benefit being that my parents were happy.

I felt a lot better once I started focusing on friendships that weren't pretending to be something else.  About 6 years ago.  But then a few months ago I was feeling really low, and succumbed to peer pressure and desperation    Which is why I've been so fucked up the past few weeks, I'm trying to end a terrible online relationship that I never should have let start.

But that's actually drawing to a conclusion finally, so...  Doing much better.  Can go back to being legit happy with my career, hobbies and friendships.  Completely sober and feeling more content than I have in a long time.  (Feels embarrassing to admit anything like this, but...  Since I can't help myself, better to do it sober!)

[Baffler]

Did the team fortress 2 servers go down? I can't pick up a single one, but the problem doesn't seem to be on my end.

[Frumple]

Steam forum doesn't seem to be registering a problem. Could be something between you and it has screwed up, rather than your end or TF2's.

[Egan_BW]

Did the team fortress 2 servers go down? I can't pick up a single one, but the problem doesn't seem to be on my end.

Steam servers may be down. (I'm on my phone so can't check right now. ) If it's not Steam and just the TF2 servers, you should still be able to get on an unofficial server.

[AlleeCat]

Okay, I was trying not to comment on this what with the risk of sounding conceited, but what is seriously up with this weekend? 3 people told me they had a crush on me, and of course I'm a jerk and refused them because it's online. It's still all very surreal though.

I actually know how that is, though not to that degree 
I think you made the right decision.  Or at least, I think I broke down and made a wrong one eventually.

I know how that is as well...
One time this guy from the DF Steam group told me he had a thing for me, but he was really obsessed with fire and death and he scared me a bit, so I told him the truth. He immediately started throwing a hissy fit, calling me a bitch, among other things, and now every time he sees me on the Steam chat he calls me names and insults me.
It's a really great environment that I enjoy coming back to. [/sarcasm]
Although confessions of love aren't all bad. Another person from here said he was either in love with me or had a crush on me, I can't remember which. I turned him down gently, and he's never really brought it up since. Though, things are still kinda awkward between us, I must admit.
This is why I generally don't reveal my crushes. That and because I just have so gosh dang many of them.

[Putnam]

nah, generally that happens with people who have no idea how to deal with people

[Flying Dice]

That top comment story, though.

[Tack]

I never confess my loves. I'm very old-school like that. Usually if I like a girl I'll just pull on her pigtails.

[Descan]

Although confessions of love aren't all bad.

I have a crush on you :v

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

<3

[Ultimuh]

Although confessions of love aren't all bad.

I have a crush on you :v

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

<3

Some people are going to ship the two of you now.
And then comes slash fiction.
And then there will be drama.
And flame wars.
And bans.
Look at what you guys have started.

[UXLZ]

Or, orrrrr, we could all be same.

I have a crush on you too. <3

[Tack]

I don't have a crush on you. Clearly this makes me special.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

I probably don't have a crush on anyone here. I think.

[Tack]

Dang. Even more special.