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[penguinofhonor]

Great, I dumbly checked some box when I made this account six years ago and now I'm going to die in a creepypasta because of it.

I want to put this old quote in my signature but I'm concerned your stalker might see it and try to kill me too.

Man, 2013 me really understands how I'm feeling right now.

And don't worry about sigging that. I've basically transcribed all the messages here - if this postmodern email horror is contagious then it's probably already coming for you. Watch out, it apparently plays the long game.

[Eric Blank]

Remember; creepy pastas can't get you if you are the creepy pasta.

[Orange Wizard]

This seems strangely appropriate.

Is it bad that I knew exactly what that was going to be long before I clicked it?

[wierd]

probably, but you must admit, it's a  perfect fit.

Complete with the identity stealing.

[Furtuka]

Spoiler: Dear god (click to show/hide)

[AlleeCat]

Next it'll be someone named AlleeCats sending me random forum PMs with an avatar that looks like mine but all jumbled up.

Spoiler: Dear god (click to show/hide)

Long War gone wrong.

[Spehss _]

Spoiler: Dear god (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: meanwhile at xcom base (click to show/hide)

[wierd]

Looks at all the locations highlighted.

Washington and Oregon...
Baja California
Montana and Nevada?/Wyoming
Texas/Oklahoma/Arkansas
Nebraska, Michigan, Iowa
New York..


You know what?  It looks like the aliens are mostly after agricultural and industrial products.  Most of those areas are heavy on beef production, wheat/rye production, corn production, or are involved with motor vehicle/aircraft/steel construction.

The aliens are clearly just having some kind of famine, and could barely afford small invasion craft to come and try to get some from us, and were just too afraid to risk our saying NO. They are just trying to get the resources they need to save their own planet-- can you blame them?

And since they are on Earth, they decided to take a European vacation to try the famous French Cuisine, and to see the pyramids-- Do these really sound like truly hostile aliens to you?

I present you a different theory-- These are just the space version of annoying tourists.

[AlleeCat]

Looks at all the locations highlighted.

Washington and Oregon...
Baja California
Montana and Nevada?/Wyoming
Texas/Oklahoma/Arkansas
Nebraska, Michigan, Iowa
New York..


You know what?  It looks like the aliens are mostly after agricultural and industrial products.  Most of those areas are heavy on beef production, wheat/rye production, corn production, or are involved with motor vehicle/aircraft/steel construction.

The aliens are clearly just having some kind of famine, and could barely afford small invasion craft to come and try to get some from us, and were just too afraid to risk our saying NO. They are just trying to get the resources they need to save their own planet-- can you blame them?

Those are all important infrastructure, as well...

[wierd]

Of course they are! You honestly expect the aliens to finance an INTERSTELLAR resource collection run to get non-vital resources!?

I mean seriously though--- GEORGIA is one of the contact areas.  I mean, PEACHES!?  What are aliens gonna do with peaches, other than eat them?

[Eric Blank]

Kidnap the hillbillies for entertainment and genetically alter the alligator populations. Also for entertainment.

[MaximumZero]

Of course they are! You honestly expect the aliens to finance an INTERSTELLAR resource collection run to get non-vital resources!?

I mean seriously though--- GEORGIA is one of the contact areas.  I mean, PEACHES!?  What are aliens gonna do with peaches, other than eat them?

Sell them for huge profit as an exotic good? Grow the trees as CO2 scrubbers? Rub the fuzzy fruits all over their naked bodies? Make girly drinks?

[wierd]

See, The governments of Earth are totally approaching this all wrong.

The aliens are clearly desperate. They were willing to finance and train for an interstellar resource collection operation against another intelligent species. Economically, if there WASNT some kind of serious disaster on their own planet, it would be significantly less expensive to them in every concievable way to harvest resources from all the totally uninhabited planets and asteroids in solar systems closer to their own world. Easier to transport, greater chance of success, lower casualties... Seriously, they must need something that can only be found on inhabited planets, and need it VERY desperately to try something like this.

So, instead of blowing them up immediately, because "OMG! ALiens!"-- Try to talk with them-- ask them what specifically they are looking for, and offer a fair deal.  "Oh, you need plant and animal species that are good to eat, and you need information on how to raise and cook them? IS THAT ALL?! Shit aliens, turn the guns off. Let's make a deal, give us one of your interstellar warp drive doodads, and we'll hook you up. We'll call it the Xenotech for food program or something."

Bu NOOOO... Gotta just blow em up-- Tell them aliens who's boss o this place-- and all that.

[Neonivek]

Has anyone played a dating sim and just kind of felt stanky

I guess what I mean is... after playing, watching, and reading a lot of dating games I have come to the conclusion that... Dates are not fun and having a girlfriend seems to be more about duping someone into thinking you are an attractive person then of mutual compatibility.

They are weird in that the more I play the less appealing they become not because they have become dull but more because well... I don't feel like I am in a relationship I feel like I am a sociopath luring women (or men as is the majority of dating sims) in to sleep/murder them.

I've already seen a great parody of this where someone at the end of a Letsplay just created a fake date with a person from the game, but who wasn't one of the possible girls you could date, and with her all the 'right' options where you acting like a spaz... things that were obviously how the main character actually acted like... ending with him just taking charge of the game and making his own decisions.

So yeah double ewww in that the player character sometimes is even characterized and given a somewhat quirky personality that the goal is to suppress at ALL costs... with people who seem to just hate your guts because they will use ANY excuse to get pissed at you.

Which seems to blend into videogames as a whole when they have any sort of relationship system. ALL the characters from Dragon Age would be annoying people to be around in real life... I swear the only reason they tolerate you is because as a main character you are so bland that you need to give them an excuse to get a little pissed at you.

[EnigmaticHat]

I guess what I mean is... after playing, watching, and reading a lot of dating games I have come to the conclusion that... Dates are not fun and having a girlfriend seems to be more about duping someone into thinking you are an attractive person then of mutual compatibility.

If you mean this in real life... some people certainly think that.  I don't.

You don't need to dupe people into thinking you're attractive, there are things you can do to make yourself more attractive.  Go to the gym.  Learn hygiene.  Get a job.  Learn how to talk to people you find attractive.  Just generally round out your personality and style of speaking (no one few people want to date someone boring).  The "you" here is a second person thing, not talking about you in particular

Mutual compatibility definitely is important.  A lot of times you can be straight up out of the running with a person if you don't match up with what they're looking for.  Beyond that, some people are better together than they are apart, some people are worse.  Its hard to put a finger on but its very important.

You are correct though that it is about convincing the other person they want to stay with you.  But the reverse of that applies too; if you don't enjoy going on dates with someone you should probably break up with them.  That would be a bit of a red flag.