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[Orange Wizard]

Where's Stephen Fry when you need him?

[penguinofhonor]

.

[Eric Blank]

American only from the perspective of the rest of the world.

Its positively pathetic, shameful.

[Bohandas]

People paint their lawns.

Makes as much sense as having a lawn in the first place.

[flabort]

People paint their lawns.

Makes as much sense as having a lawn in the first place.

Hear Hear!
Why have such a large space that requires so much backbreaking upkeep and nobody pays attention to it anyways, or disrespects it by walking across it or throwing their cigarette butts into it? Much better to make the indoor living space larger and NOT have a lawn, that way walls keep rowdy horny teenagers and lazy dog-walkers off your property, and you have A/C while vacuuming instead of the hot sun bearing down on you while you're pushing a stubborn mower (Or alternatively lifting a heavy shovelful of snow).

Unless you're wealthy enough to hire someone else to maintain your lawn and put up a fence around the whole thing. In that case I wouldn't mind a lawn.

[miauw62]

That is why, in Belgium, we put our lawn BEHIND our house

[Bohandas]

People paint their lawns.

Makes as much sense as having a lawn in the first place.

Hear Hear!
Why have such a large space that requires so much backbreaking upkeep and nobody pays attention to it anyways, or disrespects it by walking across it or throwing their cigarette butts into it? Much better to make the indoor living space larger and NOT have a lawn, that way walls keep rowdy horny teenagers and lazy dog-walkers off your property, and you have A/C while vacuuming instead of the hot sun bearing down on you while you're pushing a stubborn mower (Or alternatively lifting a heavy shovelful of snow).

Or at least pave the area so it doesn't have to be mown.

[acetech09]

People paint their lawns.

Makes as much sense as having a lawn in the first place.

Hear Hear!
Why have such a large space that requires so much backbreaking upkeep and nobody pays attention to it anyways, or disrespects it by walking across it or throwing their cigarette butts into it? Much better to make the indoor living space larger and NOT have a lawn, that way walls keep rowdy horny teenagers and lazy dog-walkers off your property, and you have A/C while vacuuming instead of the hot sun bearing down on you while you're pushing a stubborn mower (Or alternatively lifting a heavy shovelful of snow).

Or at least pave the area so it doesn't have to be mown.

I present to you...

[Yoink]

People paint their lawns.

Makes as much sense as having a lawn in the first place.

Hear Hear!
Why have such a large space that requires so much backbreaking upkeep and nobody pays attention to it anyways, or disrespects it by walking across it or throwing their cigarette butts into it? Much better to make the indoor living space larger and NOT have a lawn, that way walls keep rowdy horny teenagers and lazy dog-walkers off your property, and you have A/C while vacuuming instead of the hot sun bearing down on you while you're pushing a stubborn mower (Or alternatively lifting a heavy shovelful of snow).

Unless you're wealthy enough to hire someone else to maintain your lawn and put up a fence around the whole thing. In that case I wouldn't mind a lawn.

I agree that having a lawn is stupid and pointless, but I disagree that making larger houses is the answer.
Better to have an actual garden in place of a lawn! Bonus points if you can use its products to decorate your home and feed yourself/your family.
Looks far nicer than a boring lawn would in the first place.

[Bohandas]

People paint their lawns.

Makes as much sense as having a lawn in the first place.

Hear Hear!
Why have such a large space that requires so much backbreaking upkeep and nobody pays attention to it anyways, or disrespects it by walking across it or throwing their cigarette butts into it? Much better to make the indoor living space larger and NOT have a lawn, that way walls keep rowdy horny teenagers and lazy dog-walkers off your property, and you have A/C while vacuuming instead of the hot sun bearing down on you while you're pushing a stubborn mower (Or alternatively lifting a heavy shovelful of snow).

Or at least pave the area so it doesn't have to be mown.

Or alternately, if paving ypur yard is fprbidden and/or a lawn is required by local ordinance, replace it with astroturf

It baffles me that anyone still uses real grass for anything

EDIT:
The optimal solution however is still to pave your yard

[Yoink]

Not really- that would be ugly.
I'm guessing that you don't share this opinion, though, and I doubt I will be able to change your mind.

So... you can have your hypothetical flat expanse of concrete, I'll be over here hypothetically relaxing in my hypothetical garden of wonders.

[Bohandas]

Not really- that would be ugly.

Perhaps, but I can't imagine what reason anyone would ever have to look at it. The only thing that comes to mind is bad drivers who don't keep their eyes on the road

[flabort]

Looking at the Astroturf website, it seems they only do sports fields. Not lawns in the residential sector.
So it's Ugly (Paved or Concrete) or Hard Work (Lawn or Garden). Damn.

[Sergarr]

Utility functions.

EDIT: Specifically, the part where people say that torturing someone for 50 years is better than a very large amount of people getting a dust speck in the eye, based on those utility functions.

[Orange Wizard]

a lawn is required by local ordinance

Wait, what?

What kind of ordinance requires that you have a lawn?