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[Loud Whispers]

WHERE IS A RAGE THREAD WHEN YOU NEED ONE? Ransomware (Cryptolocker 2.34 to be precise) has encrypted 2,500 files on my laptop; I suspected it was bluffing, based off of the grammatical errors and jargon, but it's not - it was just made by Russians (who are now imprisoned, so this is a copycat). It's asking for bitcoins in exchange for the encryption key. There's just one problem, it encrypted all of my files except for my Dwarf Fortress saves. CHECK FUCKING MATE M8 SAMPSON OPTION DEPLOY AVAST WE ALL BURN NOW

*EDIT
THE DWARVES LIVE
THE YOG MERKELS LIVE
SOME PORN STILL LIVES (WE CAN REBUILD)
ALL MY NOTES ARE RIP IN PEASE (BACKUPS EXIST FOR SOME)
THE GREATEST TRAGEDY IS THE LOSS OF HISTORIC CAPS
AND MY HITLER x STALIN FANFICS

YOUR MOVE MR. CRYPTMAN
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH LUBE IN THE WORLD FOR THE CARNAGE THAT WILL ENSUE

[Spehss _]

WHERE IS A RAGE THREAD WHEN YOU NEED ONE?

You've been away a while, right LW? Toady locked nenjin's rage thread after a shit storm and Toady decreed "no more rage threads".

[GiglameshDespair]

AND MY HITLER x STALIN FANFICS

._.

[Reelya]

– "The Axis of Care" starts at Right Totalitarianism? (The origin of Axis Powers is Care?!)

The arrow points down though. Presumably towards greater care. That means NAZIs care the least, whereas "Left Totalitarians" care the most. Even then it still doesn't make sense.

Axes that aren't perpendicular

That's not actually an issue. Non-perpendicular axes still give an unambiguous set of coordinate values. Any 2D coordinate system relies on the definition of x and y vectors of your axes, and they can be any vector, as long as they're not parallel. Any two of non-parallel vectors will give an unambiguous mapping between spatial points to coordinate space, which is fine for expressing logical correlations between things.

It might even be more realistic that the two variables your tracking aren't completely independent, e.g. in the Nolan chart, perhaps social freedom and economic freedom are not actually be perpendicular, maybe it would be more realistic if the two axes were flattened, so the entire graph was a diamond, not a square.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nolan_Chart

[Loud Whispers]

WHERE IS A RAGE THREAD WHEN YOU NEED ONE?

You've been away a while, right LW? Toady locked nenjin's rage thread after a shit storm and Toady decreed "no more rage threads".

IS A PURE RIGHTEOUSNESS THREAD OUT OF LIMITS?!

AND MY HITLER x STALIN FANFICS

._.

GOOGLE CHROME BOOTED ITSELF UP LIKE THE ABORTED FETUS IT IS, AND GOOGLE CHROME ALSO BSOD ON ME IN MY TIME OF BATTLE, AND NORTON IS MOCKING ME BY SAYING I SHOULD'VE USED THEIR FIREWALL

FUCK YOU NORTON, YOU KNOW YOU'RE A VIRUS

I ONLY NEED MY MOZILLA AND AVAST

WE RIDE THIS SHIP INTO THE GROUND

[Tawa]

AND MY HITLER x STALIN FANFICS

._.

Relax, it's not as bad as Hitler x Jesus.

[Descan]

Super Aryan Hitler and Magical Stalin.

[Loud Whispers]

Threat detected
HNNNNNGGGGGGGGG AVAST BEST WAIFU SAVE ALL MIDGET DWARF AND CALL PUTIN BLUFF BEST DAY OF LIFE REMOVE CRYPTMAN FROM PREMISES GIVE BACK YOG MERKEL CLAY
A THOUSAND SUNS POWER MY DICK IN THIS DAY OF VICTORIOUS TRIUMPH
TOOOOOOOOOOOOO STROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK

In all seriousness though, fuck that noise, this shit is loud, I CAN TASTE THE SOUND OF LIBERTY PREVAILING. If you're going to make a virus, why make a virus that bricks a guy's shit? What if this wasn't just a faptop and this was someone's business computer or something. Really going to fuck up someone's life for 0.1 buttcoin? Damn, Russia's cold but whoever made this is colder than Stalin's nipples.

[Bauglir]

Apparently they made about $3 million off the whole scheme, so it seems to have worked out for them.

EDIT: And the point is to fuck things up for you, so that you'll pay. It doesn't work if you don't have incentive to pay.

[Loud Whispers]

Apparently they made about $3 million off the whole scheme, so it seems to have worked out for them.

EDIT: And the point is to fuck things up for you, so that you'll pay. It doesn't work if you don't have incentive to pay.

There is a civic duty to deny them everything.
In December 2013 ZDNet traced four Bitcoin addresses posted by users who had been infected by CryptoLocker, in an attempt to gauge the operators' takings. The four addresses showed movement of 41,928 BTC between 15 October and 18 December, about US$27 million at that time.
In a survey by researchers at the University of Kent, 41% of those who claimed to be victims said that they had decided to pay the ransom, a proportion much larger than expected; 3% had been conjectured by Symantec, and 0.4% by Dell SecureWorks.

GOD DAMMIT WHY WOULD YOU GIVE THEM BITSHEKELS THEY'VE GOT NO OBLIGATION TO SAVE YOUR SHIT

[Bauglir]

Oddly, they do kind of have an incentive to give you your shit back. A reputation for honesty is kind of all you've got in the criminal world, what with no ability to enforce contractual obligations. If they didn't do it, they would quickly find that people stopped paying, because the first thing anybody does is look things up. Google reports that they generally restore the data, so people take the gamble; if Google reported that nobody ever got their shit back, nobody would pay.

[Loud Whispers]

Oddly, they do kind of have an incentive to give you your shit back.

No, that's why they say 'if you search for ways to damage Cryptolocker we will destroy your key,' they want to scare people into giving them money and dashing off.

A reputation for honesty is kind of all you've got in the criminal world, what with no ability to enforce contractual obligations.

I recall a time in Malaysia where one of my aunts was given a phone call, saying they'd kidnapped her daughter and if she ever wanted to see her again, she would have to give them several hundred thousand ringgit. Thing was - her daughter was in the same room as her, they were bluffing. There is no honour amongst thieves.

Google reports that they generally restore the data, so people take the gamble; if Google reported that nobody ever got their shit back, nobody would pay.

Some victims claimed that paying the ransom did not always lead to the files being decrypted.

RIPIP
Also consider that this is not the original cryptolocker, what with its original creators being in prison and all. This is a copycat, who gives even less fucks than an anonymous russian emug.

[Bohandas]

This may be helpful in regard to cryptolocker:

https://www.fox-it.com/en/press-releases/fireeye-fox-announce-new-service-help-cryptolocker-victims/

[Loud Whispers]

Does not work for the new variants; this one was unfortunately

[Loud Whispers]

They rely on inherently different systems to gain money. Cryptolocker, they have what you want. If they don't give it back, nobody trusts them so nobody pays. Your example, they have nothing and rely on you panicking. Kind of like those things which hijack the web address you try to go to and a thing saying 'YOU HAVE FIFTY BAJILLION VIRUSES DOWNLOAD NAO!'

That's the thing though, it's social engineering - they're both relying on it. Nobody trusts them, they're just outright saying they've taken your files of course you won't trust them. Then they threaten that if you try to remove it, try to even look it up on the internet, they'll destroy your files. They want to induce panic and isolation so you end up shoveling your money up. They don't need your trust, you are not a long term customer, you're a mark. As far as they're concerned once they've got the money their job is done. This ransomware that's just attacked my files, that's a copycat that has used the exact same name as one of the most well-known ransomware viruses of 2013-2014 (well, at least to security forums it seems). Not because it's trustworthy, because it has a reputation for being a malicious virus. They want panic! They don't want trust! That's why instead of being polite and disguising it as 'oh you're computer's broken, we can fix it for a fee' it's portrayed as 'YOU'RE FUCKED, WE FUCKED YOU, HERE'S A COUNTDOWN OF 3 DAYS'