Don't be ridiculous. First we have to finish the campaign on Christmas.
On-topic:
I went out to eat and was a bit confused by the check ritual. So many stages.
First, the server noticed I was probably done and asked me. I confirmed it, so she left to get the check.
A few minutes later she came back with the check and said she'd be right back something-something. The paper had a line underneath the total for someone to write in. No label on the line, and no pen. Having had two pints and being a bit distracted by TVs/smartphone/tip-math, I thought she was coming back with a pen.
She walked past me about a minute later as I read and enjoyed the atmosphere/buzz. She didn't say anything, just smiled awkwardly, and I remembered how it was supposed to go.
I put my card on the little plastic dish and watched the TV another couple minutes.
Sure enough, this time she picked up the dish with my card.
Another minute or so and she came back with my card and the paper of actual purpose, with lines for tip, total, and signature.
I've always found it weird that they run your card, *then* give you a paper to decide how much you want to pay. The whole process takes far longer than it needs to. It was something of a WTF moment for me, encountering the process for the first time in a while, but I'm sure the real WTF moment is that someone could forget
Bonus round: Early on she asked me how the burger was and I said it was really good. About 10 seconds later I realized I hadn't touched it yet, just the fries and pint. It had been such a reflex on both our parts.