Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[LordSlowpoke]

* LordSlowpoke perks up

* LordSlowpoke whips out notepad

are you

[MagmaMcFry]

My dad apparently thinks that an aunt of mine is trying to set me up with her daughter, my first cousin.

Just...why? Why would that be your first thought, dad? O_o

Because he's a dad and his first priority in life is to make embarassing jokes.

[Darvi]

* LordSlowpoke perks up

* LordSlowpoke whips out notepad

are you

Ohey somebody else actually uses notepad.

[TamerVirus]

My dad apparently thinks that an aunt of mine is trying to set me up with her daughter, my first cousin.

Just...why? Why would that be your first thought, dad? O_o

That begs the most important question:

Is she hot?

[Sirus]

Are you royalty?

No. Not as far as I'm aware.

Is the aunt in question on his side of the family? Maybe he knows what to expect from her.

Nope.

* LordSlowpoke perks up

* LordSlowpoke whips out notepad

are you

Am I what? O_o

[Darvi]

That's just as messed up as the family of integers.

Let me explain.
5 and 7 are prime twins.
7 and 11 are prime cousins.
5 and 11 are sexy primes. They're cousins.

Oh yeah and 3 and 5 are twins but 3 and 7 are cousins how fucked up is that.

[Orange Wizard]

Incest? Doesn't matter, had sex.

Edit: Also, my WTF for the day. I had a dream about Doctor Who marrying the STIG. Well, not actually the STIG - his twin, or something? I don't even know. Anyway, my brain is currently being replaced by a Rube Goldberg device that is powered by the severed liver flaps of churchmice and cheese wheels made from the milk of human virgins, because that apparently makes more sodding sense.

[Darvi]

Unless you're talking about the Peter Cushing version, I might have to lecture you.

[Frumple]

... to be something approaching fair, a couple of my relatives, first cousins to one another, did marry each other. Three kids. No major problems that I heard of.

So it's. Still a thing, or something. Probably more of that in the history further back, but these folks are still, y'know, alive and kicking.

[Graknorke]

I had a dream about Doctor Who marrying the STIG. Well, not actually the STIG - his twin, or something?

Spoiler: Maybe one of these? (click to show/hide)

    The first member of Stig's family to be discovered was his American cousin Big Stig. He is a very obese version of the Stig we all know and love.

    Second we have The Stig's African cousin, he lives in Botswana and wears only a racing helmet and a loin cloth, some say he has seen the lion king more times than is thought humanly possible.

    Next it the Stig's lorry driving cousin Rig Stig. He is a fairly large version of the Stig with a tan-line on his race suit but not as fat as Big Stig and he specialises in driving lorries very quickly and is the only person known to be able to power slide them.

    The Stig's communist cousin was next to be discovered, he drives around the north of Vietnam and wears a red version of the white racing suit the other Stigs wear.

    Recently German Stig was seen with a mullet.

    The Stig actually has a real cousin named Steve, who lives in Tilehurst, near Reading.

    His wife has a white bikini, and white racing helmet.

    The next was Janet Stig Porter, the Stig’s vegetarian cousin. He drives electric and hybrid cars and wears a green version of the iconic racing suit. Sadly this Stig died from carbon monoxide poisoning from the fumes of the hybrid car he was testing at the time.

    The most recent discovery is the Italian Stig who appeared in the first episode of Series 18. He was last seen exiting a bus with two ladies, who for reasons unknown made him drive extremely quickly. The steam leaving the bus may give a hint.

    The Stig's Chinese cousin is one of the most violent in the "family" of Stigs, attacking Clarkson, May, the production crew, and even the groundskeepers of the track. Chinese Stig also kicked James May square in the plums.

    The Stig's first name is, "The", which meant he didn't even have to change his name via deed poll in order to assume his new identity, which was fortunate for him as Sugar has spies everywhere.

[Darvi]

The Chinese Stig is also dubbed the Attack Stig for its gratuitous application of martial arts.

[Graknorke]

There's another AssCreed game on the way. What the Fuck Ubisoft?
You're churning these out like a Polish milkmaid on Eurovision.

[Darvi]

Well, it is a highly popular game that presumably sells like hotcakes. Possibly. I stopped paying attention after Revelations.

[Graknorke]

Also plot twist: You play a Templar. And are a britbong, as are all the supporting characters. And the most traitorous ones are northerners.
Thanks Ubama.

[Darvi]

Also plot twist: You play a Templar.

Didn't they already do that?