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[tahujdt]

I am seriously beginning to question the accuracy of the information my school gives us.

... examples?

Biology teacher: Animals wouldn't see plants green, they'd see them black-and-white, because they can't see UV rays and UV rays are the light we see.

Sex Ed: See, sperm contains nutrients, which makes men smarter, which is why all the great inventors and scientists in history were men. Also, because of this, masturbating makes you dumb.

Spanish Teacher: Well, if evolution is real, and progress was really slow, then how do we see this civilization (ancient mesopotamia) rise out of nowhere from dumb cavemen?
Listen, children: the thing is, the two theories we believe in, which are creationism, the one we all believe in that means God made the world, and evolution, are opposites and both deny each other, which is why there are problems between creationists and evolution.

Things like that.

What kind of school is it?

* tahujdt puts on a deerstalker and begins simultaneously doing cocaine, morphine and smoking a pipe

Spoiler: Elementary, my dear Tawatsonchir (click to show/hide)

Your family is religious, although you presumably are not. You are Spanish-speaking. One of your posts a while back referred to 'midday prayer'. Midday prayer could either refer to the Islamic 'Zuhr prayer' or part of the Catholic 'Liturgy of the Hours'. The 'Liturgy of the Hours' consists of regular prayers, with midday being one of three optional small ones during the day. The 'Liturgy' is rarely observed outside of monastic orders, and is only a requirement for priests and deacons intent on becoming priests. The 'Zuhr prayer' is part of the Islamic daily prayer, or 'Salat'. It is a religious requirement. So, there is a chance that you might be from a Muslim family. However, being a Spanish-speaker of Southern-American nationality (presumably), you are, given the two choices, probably from a Catholic family. This is compounded by the fact that a devout Muslim would be loathe to send their child to a Catholic school. Thus, I deduce that you are Catholic, or at least from a devout Catholic family.

However, that is only assuming that this is actually a Catholic school. Given that it is in [insert Latin American country here], most of the teachers would presumably be Catholic. Given that the [insert Latin American country here] school system presumably doesn't have almost guaranteed vengeance on any teacher who dares share their Christian beliefs, the more stupid ones will be more likely to constantly talk about religion, while the smarter ones will still not talk about it, in all likelihood. In my experience, Catholic schools are pretty good as far as education goes, despite getting almost no money from the government. The education system may be completely different in [insert Latin American country here], so I may not know what I'm talking about.

I guarantee that this deduction will be ninja'd by people who will answer all my questions.

[Iceblaster]

@History:

Mesopotamia formed due to people deciding they asses would be better off pooling food and protecting each other. Evolution had nothing to do with that. I could say the same about his you got all that money for a car when progress in evolution is slow. Makes the same amount of sense to me.

@Sex Ed:

Abstinence only education?

Nutrients? If humans could produce food on their own, why would it be /there/? That's stupid.

That's also sexist. I don't normal call out sexism because sometimes I don't feel like it, buuut... Methinks the teacher is a bit sexist

And on masturbation? Pray tell, what would happen if you had sex a lot. Same thing or different because reasons.

And so I conclude witty observations :3

[Tawa]

-snip-

...
That was addressed to me... why?

[tahujdt]

-snip-

...
That was addressed to me... why?

I wanted to do a pun using the name Watson and a forumite's username, your username was the first one I saw that fit the bill. It wasn't actually addressed to you.

@Sex Ed:

Abstinence only education?

And on masturbation? Pray tell, what would happen if you had sex a lot. Same thing or different because reasons.

[sarcasm]An abstinence education‽ What are they teaching kids these days‽ That abstaining from sex keeps you from having babies? The very thought![/sarcasm]

As far as masturbation goes, I imagine that it could be argued that since sex has a psychological effect, masturbation could too. Alla dem crazy hormones n' stuff. Or it could simply be that people who know their religious directives but don't understand the reasons behind them are simply rationalizing them, or, more likely, parroting others' rationalizations.

[TamerVirus]

There's a cricket chirping.

In my room.

In the dorm. (Which is basically an apartment)

In the middle of a large city.

WHY

[Tawa]

-snip-

...
That was addressed to me... why?

I wanted to do a pun using the name Watson and a forumite's username, your username was the first one I saw that fit the bill. It wasn't actually addressed to you.

Otay.

There's a cricket chirping.

In my room.

In the dorm. (Which is basically an apartment)

In the middle of a large city.

WHY

[flabort]

I think my IQ went down by half while reading those examples.
Let's refute them one by one:

Biology: Some animals cannot see color, this is true. Such as hamsters. Dogs are able to see color, unlike generally assumed, though only in dichromatic vision (effectively half-color-blind/half-color-seeing). Honey bees see only UV light. There are some animals that see with IR, too.
Humans percieve a range of colors known as the Visible Spectrum. The color ranges known as "Ultra"violet and "Infra"red have these names because they are outside the Visible Spectrum. And the Visible Spectrum gets it's name for an obvious reason. So UV, or Ultraviolet, is outside the VS, which means that we DON'T see it.

Sex Ed: See, sperm contains nothing but data for producing another generation, and semen contains only sperm and a lubricating fluid that lets the sperm go faster. Unless you consider Human Protein to be a nutrient (From the DNA, Aka soylent green aka canabilism aka Instant Mad Cow Disease), in which case you should stop swallowing. The reason inventors and scientists in history were men is because men are big jerks who like to jerk-off and boss women around, and take all the credit for themselves; very few women were in the postion to be inventors because dumb muscly men wouldn't let them. Dumb muscly men also killed or bossed around weak smart men, which is why not many great inventions started taking place until the last 200 years. Because of this, masturbating makes no difference. The only thing masturbating does is make you more attracted to your fantasies and less attracted to the real women (or men) around you. Which raises your standards to an impossible level, making you SEEM dumb because you can't get a date to save your life, but it does not affect your brain.

Spanish Teacher: Wait. She's arguing that spontaneous advancement (Mesopotamia) was NOT the result of evolution, but creation? I'm a creationist myself, so I can argue against evolution some other time, but let's see...
Yes, you can believe in Creation, or you can believe in Evolution. You can also believe that one happens (much slower than most believe) on a daily basis, but it was the first thing that started it off. Look under a microscope to see evolution happening on a small but fast pace yourself. Micro-evolution, or small changes, is a real thing, that has been proven. It does not disprove Creation.
Now, the Mesopotamia thing.
First off, if she believes in creation, and ONLY creation, then there were no "dumb cavemen" in ancient mesopotamia; the same humans as we are today lived there before they became a nation. And what would have happened there would be just like the America Revolutionary War, or the Revolution of France, or the Settling of an Unsettled Landmass... a group of people creating a government. Not any divine act of creation or a work of sudden evolution.
If she believes in Evolution, and ONLY evolution, how does she think they turned from cavemen into humans? Like Pokemon? That's not real evolution. Evolution takes generations. Not experience points.

[Mr. Strange]

[sarcasm]An abstinence education‽ What are they teaching kids these days‽ That abstaining from sex keeps you from having babies? The very thought![/sarcasm]

Mary used abstinence, it wasn't very effective.

[tahujdt]

[sarcasm]An abstinence education‽ What are they teaching kids these days‽ That abstaining from sex keeps you from having babies? The very thought![/sarcasm]

Mary used abstinence, it wasn't very effective.

Alright, I concede the point.

That actually made me laugh.

[Graknorke]

Who are you all arguing with? The Spanish teacher isn't here.

[flabort]

[sarcasm]An abstinence education‽ What are they teaching kids these days‽ That abstaining from sex keeps you from having babies? The very thought![/sarcasm]

Mary used abstinence, it wasn't very effective.

I'm mildly offended and immensely amused. 
Net feelings is amused.

[pisskop]

The problem with people who use terrible or very ineffective arguments from a standpoint I can sympathize with or agree with is that it puts me off.  Its like trying to say that illegal immigration must be checked while, to your left, a KKK member is ranting about all the brown people running across the border.  Its not going to end well for you, simply by association.

So while I may not be against a certain standpoint, the sheer awfulness of others taking that standpoint makes a really awkward situation.

[smjjames]

Flabort is a creationist and yet believes in evolution (or at least agrees some form of evolution exists)? wat.

Who are you all arguing with? The Spanish teacher isn't here.

Nether are the science teacher and the sex ed teacher.

Fakeedit due to replies: I think greatorder had the same wtf.

[Putnam]

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma841be9SY1qgmwa0o1_1280.jpg

oy

[Graknorke]

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma841be9SY1qgmwa0o1_1280.jpg

oy

For those of us who don't frequent wherever this is, what game is that for?