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[Bauglir]

Guys, we're safe. Don't worry about it. According to the International Earth-Destruction Advisory Board, the Earth has already been destroyed. So there's no need to worry about the end of the world - it's already happened, and you can't end something that's already over.

[Frumple]

Didn't hell terrain start showing up not too far into the industrial revolution? Know we've got places in china and elsewhere that are just kind of chemical death sumps or whatev'. Kind of place a devil looks at and just turns around with a hearty "Bugger that, back to Cocytus."

[Graknorke]

Guys, we're safe. Don't worry about it. According to the International Earth-Destruction Advisory Board, the Earth has already been destroyed. So there's no need to worry about the end of the world - it's already happened, and you can't end something that's already over.

I will sit here on the first stage of grief thank you very much.

[tahujdt]

That IEDAB board is hilarious:

There will be counselling sessions running on Pluto starting in mid-April. The first is at 7:15pm on Thursday 18th. BYOO₂.

IEDAB's Geocide Hotline (+44 115 09Ω 4127, ask for Other Dave)

[hops]

Do these guys live in Night Vale or something?

[KingofstarrySkies]

End of the world would suck. Then again, I have a phobia of it.

[Tawa]

Why do you guys think the world ended in '12? Everybody knows it happened when ol' Lavos showed his ugly ass in 99.

[Moghjubar]

Nah, see, if you were to truly control all 100% of your brain, you'd need to control all your bodily functions manually. All of them.

Late, but obligatory:

"You are now existing manually."

[Spehss _]

Nah, see, if you were to truly control all 100% of your brain, you'd need to control all your bodily functions manually. All of them.

Late, but obligatory:

"You are now existing manually."

"You are now manually switching over to manual."

[hops]

* Objective explodes into the universe.

[TD1]

Technically, any explosion is one into the universe, or inside it anyway, so yes that may be correct.

[hops]

Most things don't scatter and simultaneously exist everywhere in spacetime.

Then again... some people say that spacetime is a single parti- OW OW OW

[Draignean]

The pontiff, 76, had part his lung removed to treat an infection he had about 40 decades ago, according to NBC News.

You read it here first, Pope Francis had part of his lung removed approximately 324 years before his birth in order to treat an illness he wouldn't then yet have. You've got to admit, that's a neat trick.

Editor's note: A previous version of this article incorrectly stated that Pope Francis has one lung. He had just part of one lung removed.

Yes, clearly that was the part of the article that desperately needed immediate correction. The fact that you're implying that Pope Francis is a time traveler who went back to the 1500-1600's for a bit of butcher shop surgery, that's a fine thing to have in a self-styled science article.

[Descan]

On a related note: Egg.

[Karkov]

This Pope just keeps getting better and better.