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[MagmaMcFry]

Windows 8.1 was designed for tablets and phones, not for computers. That's my main beef with it.

why did they design a windows for tablets they have an android for it

why

I think you're possibly confusing Google and Microsoft.

[ChairmanPoo]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Akura]

Moral of the story, shoot anyone who:

• Gives religious tracts.
• Claims they are Jesus^†.
• Sports an exposed boner while doing either of the above just shoot regardless goddamnit.

^†If it's the real Jesus, he'll just respawn three days later.

[LordSlowpoke]

nobody take akura to south america and/or iberia ever thanks

actually do so should be fun

[miauw62]

I am wearing contacts and this feels so fucking weird.

I HAVE PERIPHERAL VISION O-O

[Hubris Incalculable]

Moral of the story, shoot anyone who:

• Gives religious tracts.
• Claims they are Jesus^†.
• Sports an exposed boner while doing either of the above just shoot regardless goddamnit.

^†If it's the real Jesus, he'll just respawn three days later.

He's Hispanic. His name's Jesús. That's the Spanish form of Joshua, and it's pronounced hey-SOOS (or rather, [xeˈsus], if'n you know the IPA).

The joke is literally playing on the fact that the two names are so similar.

[ChairmanPoo]

Sports an exposed boner

... I hadn't even noticed that bit 

[tahujdt]

So, in this town, there's a church just about every block. One of them had a sign today that said "Obedience is better than sacrifice". I thought for a few seconds about how that was probably the most ridiculous platitude I'd ever heard, there isn't really a comparison to be made there, but then I realized: what the hell did Jesus do??? He sacrificed himself to the Romans so that others wouldn't suffer for his disobedience! Are they saying Jesus made a mistake for doing what is the basis of their entire religion?

Thought about it  for a sec, then realized what they're referencing.

In Judaism during the Old Testament, whenever you sinned big-time, you would either sacrifice an animal (or have a priest sacrifice it on your behalf) as restitution. There's a verse somewhere saying that God likes obedience more than offerings. In other words, obedience is better than apologizing. They're not referencing the crucifixion at all.

[tahujdt]

oops, doublepost

[Aklyon]

I am wearing contacts and this feels so fucking weird.

I HAVE PERIPHERAL VISION O-O

If you didn't before, were you wearing goggles instead of glasses or something?

[Helgoland]

I have glasses, and my field of view is restricted by them by quite a bit.

[Aklyon]

Mine isn't.

[LordSlowpoke]

i am reasonably sure an island of 450 people in the late 60s should not consume about as much power as modern iceland

this shit skewed

[miauw62]

I am wearing contacts and this feels so fucking weird.

I HAVE PERIPHERAL VISION O-O

If you didn't before, were you wearing goggles instead of glasses or something?

Well, sharp peripheral vision. Having fully sharp vision when you've worn glasses almost all the time the past 7 or so years feels weird.
(Both of my eyes are -5, btw)

[Karkov]

I am wearing contacts and this feels so fucking weird.

I HAVE PERIPHERAL VISION O-O

If you didn't before, were you wearing goggles instead of glasses or something?

Well, sharp peripheral vision. Having fully sharp vision when you've worn glasses almost all the time the past 7 or so years feels weird.
(Both of my eyes are -5, btw)

I wish I could use contacts, I'm pretty sure my eyes are allergic to the soft contacts everyone is on the rage about (I've tried them like three times and each time about 3 weeks into wearing them I just can't stand them anymore, sucks).