I had a really interesting time trying to cook a hamburger today (this should be in the rage thread too).
Backstory: Today was my parents' anniversary, they went out together to celebrate, dad said I should cook a burger. He just forms a bunch of burger patties whenever we have spare ground beef and keeps them in the freezer, ready to cook when someone needs one for a meal.
Today I opened the freezer to get out a patty to cook. I missed the stack of burger patties, but I did find the pound and a half of unformed ground beef in a different bag. For some reason I thought it was just two patties frozen together (they look big before cooking, then shrink as they lose fat, so it wasn't unreasonable) and began trying to saw them apart with a knife. When that didn't work, I decided I would just have two burgers, figuring they would be easier to separate once they thawed.
Well, the "patties" still didn't separate. However, bits and pieces of the beef mass were starting to crumble off. I realized the mass was too much for one pan and separated it into two. The two separate masses were still too big - and since they were never formed into patties in the first place, they cooked into little beef nuggets instead. So I wound up with two giant pans of flavorless (having simmered pretty much all the fat out) beef scraps. Instead of getting mad, though, I made the most of it and decided to make sloppy Joe-type sammiches.
Under the belief that I had two burgers worth of meat, I tried to put all the beef scrap onto two buns. It didn't work. At this point I finally realized I had more meat than I thought. So I called my dad up, apologizing for messing up his dinner, and asked him how many patties he had in the bag. He said "A bunch". I told him I only found two, and then he somehow realized that I had found the unshaped-beef bag instead, and politely told me that there were the actual patties elsewhere in the freezer and that I had instead found the pound and a half of non-patty ground beef.
I then added that I had messed up cooking it. Instead of getting mad, he just told me to seal the rest up and use it to make taco filling or chili sometime. So that went better than expected. Still not pleased with spending, ultimately, two hours failing to make a burger, but eh.