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[Steelmagic]

You whack the zombie in the eye!

The severed part flies off in an arc!

So basically you whacked off the zombie's eye.

[Arx]

Turns out applying very hot gravy directly to the wrist gets you a bad burn. Who knew.

.....

I misread this on the first go as "Turns out applying very hot gravity directly to the wrist gets you a bad bum. Who knew."

Who knew indeed.

Edit: Damned phone.

[Kadzar]

Spoiler: With enough skill, /anything/ is a weapon young grasshopper (click to show/hide)

The horror of using the word "whack" as the attack verb.

This brings new meaning to the phrase "fighting the zombie".

[USEC_OFFICER]

I'm sitting here as I type this, looking at an add for glow-in-the-dark clothing. It's slogan? 'Turn off the lights and get turned on!' I just... Who the heck decided that was a wonderful and effective slogan? It's just comfortable and weird. Or maybe I'm just reading too much into it. _{Or not enough into it.}

[Flying Dice]

I just remembered that Heavy Metal existed when some friends and I found an old tape of it. We watched it, and I've now reached my mindfuck quota for the month. It's the absolute strangest, most offensive parts of the '80s condensed into 90 minutes of the strangest stories, capped off with a fucking depressing animated acid trip. Such a great terrible film.

[Lord Shonus]

Well, that's kind of what Heavy Metal comics were, so it it pretty faithful to the source material, although somewhat less (erotic? pornographic? fanservicey?) than the comics are.

[hops]

Welp

[Graknorke]

Welp

I don't think I even want to do anything with my dick that could be referred to as a "lion's pounce".

[hops]

Welp

I don't think I even want to do anything with my dick that could be referred to as a "lion's pounce".

I think said passage refers to vaginal/anal masturbation.

[Graknorke]

Welp

I don't think I even want to do anything with my dick that could be referred to as a "lion's pounce".

I think said passage refers to vaginal/anal masturbation.

"It between your arms"?

[hops]

We don't even know what "It" is.

[Xantalos]

Guys, using lions as sex dolls is a bad idea.

[scrdest]

Welp

I don't think I even want to do anything with my dick that could be referred to as a "lion's pounce".

Spoiler: JESUS FUCK (click to show/hide)

He (Kellogg. Yes, that Kellogg.) recommended, to cure children from this "solitary vice", bandaging or tying their hands, covering their genitals with patented cages, sewing the foreskin shut and electrical shock, and circumcision without anesthesia, which would break the habit.

[Graknorke]

Spoiler: JESUS FUCK (click to show/hide)

He (Kellogg. Yes, that Kellogg.) recommended, to cure children from this "solitary vice", bandaging or tying their hands, covering their genitals with patented cages, sewing the foreskin shut and electrical shock, and circumcision without anesthesia, which would break the habit.

Well I mean.
I guess it would work.


...
Y'know, from a purely objective-oriented standpoint ((PPE: Haha I caught that one you can't get one over on me english language)) goal-driven mindset.
Doesn't make it any less horrifying, it's just effective.

[Vorthon]

Wait, is that the Kellog I'm thinking of? Because fucking hell that's a long ways from cereal.