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[Bauglir]

Today I learned that mastahcheese works at a kleptomania factory.

[TD1]

Today I learned that mastahcheese works at a kleptomania factory.

With burgers.

[mastahcheese]

At least they fired the guy who kept stealing the boxes of bacon.
I mean, there are over 2000 strips of bacon in those, and there was one missing almost every other day.
Who even needs that much freaking bacon?

[My Name is Immaterial]

Epic Meal Time.

[Bauglir]

Well, I was building a meat dragon, and not just any meat would do.

[mastahcheese]

The crazy part is when you try to add it up, because that's about 6000 strips in a week, and he'd been doing this for a whole 5 months before they found out who it was.

[Bauglir]

It was a 1:256 scale model of Ancalagon the Black, okay?

[TD1]

Did you char the bacon first?

[Bauglir]

Well I would've done for the outer layers, but I never got that far. I only got a claw assembled before I was fired, and the odor of a 5-month-old bacon sculpture alerted the authorities as to my whereabouts.

[Frumple]

The crazy part is when you try to add it up, because that's about 6000 strips in a week, and he'd been doing this for a whole 5 months before they found out who it was.

I can only imagine that, for those five months, somewhere out there was a whole community full up on bacon.

Actually, I can imagine far worse things involving mass amounts of slabs of raw meat, but... I'll go with community spirit and a love of giving instead of someone wrapping themselves in cold flesh to while away the lonely hours.

[TD1]

Well I would've done for the outer layers, but I never got that far. I only got a claw assembled before I was fired, and the odor of a 5-month-old bacon sculpture alerted the authorities as to my whereabouts.

Amateurs.

You assemble a scaffold of the model, then place the bacon over that. Charred bacon, of course, but keep a few slabs red for the eyes, and bones for the claws. If there are no skeletons in your closet, you could use bleached-white drift wood.

[LordSlowpoke]

tsk tsk

caicify the bacon and use that as the scaffolding

[BlackFlyme]

I'll go with community spirit and a love of giving instead of someone wrapping themselves in cold flesh to while away the lonely hours.

And now I want a superhero whose outfit is made entirely of bacon.

[Bauglir]

... instead of someone wrapping themselves in cold flesh to while away the lonely hours.

>Wrapping yourself in cold bacon
>Not warming it to body temperature first

It's like you haven't ever spent time with this hobby.

[TD1]

tsk tsk

caicify the bacon and use that as the scaffolding

No, because then you increase demand of bacon. The scaffold needs to be normal, because people don't mind a man who likes his bacon. They do mind a man who turns said bacon into calcified scaffolding. It's a PR thing.