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Author Topic: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O  (Read 14927005 times)

Sirus

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #48795 on: May 06, 2014, 11:15:45 am »

What about Bay12? :P
A support forum for a geology simulator.
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RedKing

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #48796 on: May 06, 2014, 11:17:54 am »

I tend to think of DF as a logistics/communism simulator.  :P
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Remember, knowledge is power. The power to make other people feel stupid.
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Science is like an inoculation against charlatans who would have you believe whatever it is they tell you.

Loud Whispers

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #48797 on: May 06, 2014, 11:18:46 am »

The politics of London travel are strange and mighty. You may have heard of my adoration of those who hold the knowledge; the black cab drivers with their superb skill. Perhaps you've heard my wonder at how hydrogen buses appear to be some sort of mechanical unicorn of science whirring by into the future, or how breaking bus etiquette warranted summary execution by bus commisars.
Sometimes things are not all that good.

Tube strikes happened on the Easter weekend. The greater city sloughed to standstill as the proletariat siezed key platforms and infrastructure, industrial action being taken against the commuters in the overworld. I, like many others was a veteran of such industrial actions. I was prepared for the action, but nothing could truly prepare me - or anyone for that matter, of just what was to unfold in those fateful days. We were attached to the 381st mechanised brigade [two-decker]. To say such stalwart infrastructure was unaffected by industrial action would be to tell an age old lie: it is always practical and fitting to travel by bus for your country.
The early birds regiments who had blitzkrieged the only bus lebensraum went about their day, holding their hopeful image of a perfect day in their minds, brushing away the corpses of the fallen and the incapable. Mechanical doors kept out the undesirables who didn't show their very same dedication. In time, the early birds went about achieving their strategic goals, only leaving behind a small rearguard to deny any future spaces to others in line for the next salvation.
In their hubris, they did not see the rise of the people's commuting army. The full might of zones 1 and 2 flocked in droves, overwhelming each and every bus station. Refugees who could leg it, ran, running fast and never looking back, fleeing to the overground or the river services. People like myself had no such avenue of escape. We began the bloody march in plain view of the lucky few on the buses, turning their blind eyes to our suffering. Generals and commanders sallied across the network of roads in their battle chariots, the command cabs resplendent in their black warpaint. Such an escape was not to be mine, I took my journey the hard way.
To get ahead, I had to step back. Station to station, walking further and further away. Four times denied, four times I moved. Gradually less and less followed until of the original 17 who had joined me, none but myself remained. There were others on this new station to be sure, but that didn't matter. The world was a crueler place, and I still remember as I bundled onto the backdoor of the bus with other newcomers, just looking back on the people that were there on my arrival still locked outdoors. Maybe they were only there for 5 minutes, maybe several hours. It didn't matter anymore. The bus commisars knew they couldn't stop us. Bus fares went entirely unpaid, respect for queues that had become the moral imperative for centuries was discarded under the ruthless progress of necessity and improvement. The only way to survive was to do what you had to do, and I did what I had to do.
I traveled.

On the final day of strikes, I was caught in the junction between 3 lanes of traffic when I counted 21 double decker buses all passing one another. I'd never seen that many buses before, and it was hilarious seeing these red Titans maneuver around one another, boxing in the little fish flitting about below them. There were also 3 single-deckers, of which 2 were hydrogens - by gods do you even know what it is to see the dance of the buses? Many a time, I would have sworn collisions were inevitable. Inevitable! Yet not one happened!
[Although previously further down the road on some other day a police van did a barrel roll].
Something of the scale of what 21 double decker buses all occupying all the roads looks like is lost in words not conveying its sheer size. Words such as these... They do not capture the immensity. 21 whales somewhat loses just how god damn awesome 21 whales maneuvering about one another in cohesion looks like. It's rare to get 4 double deckers in the same place outside of some sort of big end station. 21!

Today marks a respite in this action, the pleasant, exciting and the... Necessary.
It was marked by unusual traffic, in a post-strike world most had opted to rely on car - I presume this was the reason for the gargantuan traffic jam stretching from hell to heaven. At several points in the infinite pileup that was unfolding, people were getting out of their cars and simply having a nice chat in the sun. Such was the joy in the fact that at least everyone was stuck in this together, that people began making songs out of their car horns. The police saw fit to add their siren song to the wail, and one cab driver even brought a vuvuzela (clearly he is wiser than us all for being prepared for this occasion). One woman appeared to have gotten smashed at 3PM and was shouting jovial things out of a car window, though whether for a lack of speech capabilities or through the sheer volume of blaring cars I couldn't tell what exactly it was she was so happy about. The length of this jam was so brilliant that the songs each segment sang actually merged, mixed and melded in a soothing, trumpeting way that bursted your eardrums but at least made you feel befuddled and awed, then diverged, split and fractured into brand new melodies reminiscent of a football stadium's benchers preparing for VICTORY and GLORY. There was no figurehead, no announcer demanding this - everyone had seemed to have just arrived at the same conclusion that the only way to counter this boredom was to assemble the world's first traffic jam orchestra.

MonkeyHead

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #48798 on: May 06, 2014, 11:20:00 am »

What about Bay12? :P
A support forum for a geology simulator.

I once coded a simulator that would predict the behaviour of avalanches/landslides using a monte carlo routine... does that count?

RedKing

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #48799 on: May 06, 2014, 11:31:22 am »


Or as they call it in Manhattan....Tuesday.

(Wonderfully written post, btw....just seemed like "Wow...there's traffic! In a major city!" Thou hast not seen traffic until you've seen Shanghai traffic. Or New York City.)
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Comrade P.

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #48800 on: May 06, 2014, 11:35:39 am »

(Wonderfully written post, btw....just seemed like "Wow...there's traffic! In a major city!" Thou hast not seen traffic until you've seen Shanghai traffic. Or New York City.)

Or Moscow City. Or any old overpopulated city.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #48801 on: May 06, 2014, 11:45:01 am »

(Wonderfully written post, btw....just seemed like "Wow...there's traffic! In a major city!" Thou hast not seen traffic until you've seen Shanghai traffic. Or New York City.)
Ah, the wonder was not in the traffic, but in how people's reactions changed and evolved over the course of the week. Truly wonderful, for as wonderful as traffic jams are.

MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #48802 on: May 06, 2014, 11:49:03 am »

(Wonderfully written post, btw....just seemed like "Wow...there's traffic! In a major city!" Thou hast not seen traffic until you've seen Shanghai traffic. Or New York City.)

Or Moscow City. Or any old overpopulated city.
I'll never forget what used to be written on Wikitravel's transportation advice for China: "The behavior of Chinese motorists may appear insane or suicidally reckless to westerners..."
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RedKing

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #48803 on: May 06, 2014, 12:34:28 pm »

(Wonderfully written post, btw....just seemed like "Wow...there's traffic! In a major city!" Thou hast not seen traffic until you've seen Shanghai traffic. Or New York City.)

Or Moscow City. Or any old overpopulated city.
I'll never forget what used to be written on Wikitravel's transportation advice for China: "The behavior of Chinese motorists may appear insane or suicidally reckless to westerners..."
Yup. Traffic laws are mostly either optional, ignored or downright contravened.

Example: At the Walk/Don't Walk light, do NOT start walking when it turns to Walk. You will either get hit or (more likely) get swerved around by someone cursing you to the tenth generation. Instead, ignore the lights and just start walking across the street at a steady, even pace regardless of the vehicles hurtling past you in either direction. Imagine you're wading through a stream, and the cars and buses and old men on bicycles and young girls on scooters are just fish swimming around you.

Also, do not make the mistake of thinking you are safe on the sidewalk. HahahaNO. Sidewalks are a cabbie's favorite passing lane, only slightly beating out the oncoming traffic lane.

This is my favorite description of traffic in China. Especially the last two panels.
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Remember, knowledge is power. The power to make other people feel stupid.
Quote from: Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Science is like an inoculation against charlatans who would have you believe whatever it is they tell you.

majikero

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #48804 on: May 06, 2014, 12:53:56 pm »

That's an exciting read.  :o
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Mr. Strange

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #48805 on: May 06, 2014, 02:48:35 pm »

AAAAND Gogis tries to start a new Ukraine thread which is started with conspiracy crap and flamebait. Got promptly deleted.
All the interesting stuff hapens when I'm not there...
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Then you get cities like Paris where you should basically just kill yourself already.

You won’t have to think anymore: it’ll be just like having fun!

RedKing

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #48806 on: May 06, 2014, 02:53:36 pm »

Haven't been sick in over a year, and today I went from "hmm, my throat is a little scratchy" to "jesus just kill me now" in under six hours.

goddamn it white blood cells, get in there and fight, you maggots! >_<
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Remember, knowledge is power. The power to make other people feel stupid.
Quote from: Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Science is like an inoculation against charlatans who would have you believe whatever it is they tell you.

MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #48807 on: May 06, 2014, 02:54:56 pm »

Haven't been sick in over a year, and today I went from "hmm, my throat is a little scratchy" to "jesus just kill me now" in under six hours.

goddamn it white blood cells, get in there and fight, you maggots! >_<
There was a wave of strep up here a couple of weeks ago, so it may have made its way to Raleigh by now.
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Putnam

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #48808 on: May 06, 2014, 02:55:49 pm »

goddamn it white blood cells, get in there and fight, you maggots! >_<

That's what most symptoms of that sort are...

TD1

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #48809 on: May 06, 2014, 02:56:41 pm »

Go, you phagocytes, go!
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