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[Graknorke]

Pretty much any conspiracy theory that doesn't end in a monarch, illuminati or aliens ends in jews because of this.

If you haven't seen conspiracy theories where they end in a monarch, Illuminati, or aliens AS WELL AS Jews then you're not looking hard enough.

[Steelmagic]

Damn alien jews controlling the king of the illuminati that runs the government.

[StupidElves]

I heard a garage band performing a death metal cover of Misty Mountains Cold.

[Loud Whispers]

Pretty much any conspiracy theory that doesn't end in a monarch, illuminati or aliens ends in jews because of this.

If you haven't seen conspiracy theories where they end in a monarch, Illuminati, or aliens AS WELL AS Jews then you're not looking hard enough.

They're not allowed to hold joint power, it's the Caesar effect. Alien-jews running the illuminati who control the world through monarchs and oligarchs is allowed, but you can't have them all have a spread of power - that would be chaos. And one thing I know about conspiracy theories, is that they are not made by paranoid people looking for fear. They're made by two types of people:

• Paranoid people looking for structure. If you can order the power structure in a neat pyramid that has an eye watching you then that is structure, and a lot less threatening than the idea that no one is in control;
• People working for the CIA.

Plus America does have a lot of concerning situations that demand conspiracy, like the times where news station owners have their babysitters mysteriously murder their children and then cut their own throats, police of course treating it as a murder suicide just as the news station rolled stories about money laundering. Or nukes get moved around without paper trails. Or the times where affluent American bankers commit suicide by nailgun or exploding car. Or the times where the American government is doing MKUltra tier shit. Or mass surveillance. Or fed bankers accidentally lose billions in the couch.
You can see why people want their illumanti pyramids. It's scary shit, and illuminati pyramids make you feel safer - you'd much rather know someone with power over your life wants you dead/close to it and hasn't gone about it than to know they have power over your life and you don't know what they're doing with it.

[scrdest]

Merging the topics of the posts above LW's, Illuminati King is a name I am seriously considering nicking for band-naming purposes.

[mainiac]

Also compare to the Knights Templar. Wealthy merchants get their wealth redistributed by burning torch and pitchfork century after century for quite a while in Europe. Heck, even the Catholics had all their shit nicked by protties a bunch of times.

I love how the Knights lead to Malta getting featured in so many stories about spies and conspiracies.  I think more fictional characters have been to Malta then real world people have.

[Owlga]

So Janet apparently really, really doesn't appreciate it when I air out things happening to her on here when I need to vent. Well I guess I won't be doing that anymore.

[AlleeCat]

Does he survive?

He's part vampire. Yeah, he survives.

[Mictlantecuhtli]

I think more fictional characters have been to Malta then real world people have.

_{I've been to Malta..}

I am mostly fictional, though.

[Steelmagic]

I was sitting on the computer, minding my own business, when suddenly I was hit with the urge to buy a Russian Army spade. Just out of nowhere.

But goddammit I have no way to buy one.

[Octobomb]

[size=78%]Knit tie? Where's Knit tie? He once killed a wolf with and icepick, he should be able to fetch an army spade.[/size]

[My Name is Immaterial]

Knit tie? Where's Knit tie? He once killed a wolf with and icepick, he should be able to fetch an army spade.

Is that what you meant?

[SealyStar]

Knit tie is too busy knitting ties and Gustin jeans from wolf pelts. He can't be bothered with petty favors like fetching army spades.

[Knit tie]

Sure I can get my hands on an army spade. The problem is delivery.

[Steelmagic]

It's simple, you just have to throw it. It's only a few thousand miles, should be easy.