Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Lagslayer]

X-COM LP.
First mission.
No-one dies.

Can you spot the WTF?

First mission?

[Sinlessmoon]

Can you spot the WTF?

                       ^
                       |
                       |
                       |
Found it.

[SalmonGod]

Somebody just linked me this image.  I haven't read the story.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Xantalos]

...why am I imagining a kung-fu masturbation battle

[Flying Dice]

I see a great deal of OOCQTing in the near future.

[mastahcheese]

I remember reading that headline.
I haven't read the story on it, either.

My WTF is that someone necro'd the "Back to the Dwarf game" thread that is over 8 years old.
I'm rather concerned, I don't know how toady would react to that.

[Gamerlord]

My WTF is that someone necro'd the "Back to the Dwarf game" thread that is over 8 years old.
I'm rather concerned, I don't know how toady would react to that.

How is that even possible... You'd think it'd be locked or something.

[Xantalos]

I remember reading that headline.
I haven't read the story on it, either.

My WTF is that someone necro'd the "Back to the Dwarf game" thread that is over 8 years old.
I'm rather concerned, I don't know how toady would react to that.

Link?

[scrdest]

So, anyone heard of snouters before? I've heard of them, but this is the first time I've actually read about them.

What am I even reading here.

Stuff about this. Presumably it's what happens when you mix european naturalism with copious amounts of opium.

Holy shit, a proto-SCP!

[Guardian G.I.]

According to Russian news channels, the ongoing winter storm in the United States of America is expected to bring temperatures across the Midwest down to -50 degrees Celsius.
Judging by how temperatures of -10 degrees Celsius with a little bit of snow can easily paralyse large areas of the US, the sudden onset of Siberian winter will surely lead to apocalyptic consequences.
Probably the temperature estimates were a little bit incorrect, though.

[10ebbor10]

Probably they just screwded up Fahrenheit to Celcius conversion.

Edit: ((Probably not. -50 Fahrenheit is till -45 Celsius.))

[hops]

So I just found this little gem on Newgrounds.

It just kind of drives you in. Half mutt, half horse, all MUTT HOSS.
Live the hoss, be the Hoss. Eaglerock Interactive brings you another adventure sure to guarantee joy. Music by unknown, a midi file I found.. Get you into the season and stuff.

It's the review with the highest rating that cracks me up, though.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I think I've finally figured out this game. The game symbolizes the journey of life in America, with each chapter representing a certain struggle one may encounter throughout their lifetime.

It starts out with the picture of the bald eagle (a symbol for American freedom) and we are 'born' into a free world. Suddenly, a mist of jumbled-up nonsense starts to cover the screen, with the words, "I make it my business". This represents the government already intervening into your life at a young age [giving you a social security number] which necessarily a bad thing.

Next, you are cast into society as a knight in shining armor. You are a knight because you are an American, the most superior race. You are tasked with flinging 80 ice skaters into an American pine tree. The 80 ice skaters represent the amount of months you spend in the school system (about 8 months per year, starting with kindergarten). After ten years, you find yourself in your freshman year of high school.
The Mutt Hoss logo scrolls up to the middle of the screen, letting you know that you are about to enter the most crucial part of the game... and your life.

You are on the beach, and you discover that you are the Eiffel tower. Have you ever felt so out of place before? You struggle to fit in, denying who you really are on the inside to conform to the trendy environment that surrounds you. But ok, as long as you remain true to yourself, and move along the RIGHT path, you will move on successfully.

The next chapter of your life is symbolized by a ship going down in flames. Objects are being tossed left and right as you sit there wondering what to do. This is a lot like your twenties. You have almost no money, and you are working very hard to keep whatever you have afloat. The struggle of your twenties is basically caused by the large amount of debt you have acquired so far, whether it be from student loans or credit card debt. It is a natural part of the American lifestyle to be in debt at that age. But ok, because your life will move onto the next chapter before you know it.

Your thirties hit you like a brick wall. Now you stand as a weak, insignificant blob. You notice that while America is thriving with an increase of culture and innovation, the rest of the world seems to be burning to ashes around you. You think to yourself, "You know what, I guess I'm lucky to be an American after all." You see a giant angry head coming right at you. Oh great, it's your boss... You feed him various alcoholic drinks to get on his good side, and look! Your crooked ways have paid off! That's how it works in America; it's all about kissing up to your boss. You are promoted to next chapter of your life.

What? What is this? This emptiness feeling. Is this my midlife Why, yes it is. hit your forties, a time filled with regret and disappointment. Sure, you may have done a lot with your life, but think of all the things you never got to do! You feel constantly mocked by the fake happiness you once felt. It haunts you. been following the predetermined path that this game has set for you. been questioning the game this whole time, yet you never once strayed from its plotline. You are stuck in the abyss of calamity and failure. And nothing you can do. Go ahead, press to neigh. Neigh as much as you want. It fucking matter.

And finally, as your American life draws near its end, you face the symphony of despair. You have a few waking years left. You remember your bucket list, which you threw into a box many years ago, hoping to never be reminded of your foolish hope for a worthwhile life. You laugh as you read the very first thing on your bucket list; Extreme Beach Volleyball with Santa and his Reindeer. How foolish of you to think that you could have done something so fun and fulfilling. You die of old age, and the symphony of despair echoes through the air as your casket is laid into the earth. Your soul, however, lives on. It floats to the majestic gates of Heaven, where you are welcomed with open arms by Santa and his Reindeer. In the afterlife, you spend most of your days playing extreme beach volleyball (which never seems to have an actual ending). You contemplate your achievements, and you reminisce about your most fond memories.

And with the conclusion of the game, we are reminded that in the end, everyone is a winner. To be blessed with the gift of life alone is something that everyone should be grateful for.

Alright, there are some miscalibrations there but for the most part you've pretty much described it to a tee. I am glad you took the time to play through it and make your analysis. I hope the backspace button helped you review a level again if needed to. And I really do appreciate this review a lot. It's not much, but you've got a good gist of flow here and I could use the direction wherever I get it, not quite eye to eye but in a similar realm.
I just didn't think Mutt Hoss's cultural impact would happen in June of all times and I am just now getting all the input on an otherwise quiet game. I embraced it while it lasted, but a breakdown like this is worth the break of silence and I appreciate the kind words. Thank you for providing them. -b!

[Yoink]

So...there is a person who seems legitimately crazy (or possibly under the influence of something) walking around outside my truck. She's ranting and raving about something or other, waving around papers in one hand and a bag in the other.

I'm not really sure what to do here o.o

She could've just been on the phone, using one of those annoying earphone/headsets that are hard to spot from a distance.
Many times I've been startled by people near me speaking to me, or rambling to themselves, only to realise they're on the phone.

[GiglameshDespair]

Me and the lady were about to leave the shop we had lunch in when a black guy holding a bin bag walked in and started to shout happily. Thought he was shouting at my lady for a minute and I wondered if I'd have to step in, but he then went in and started singing loudly and we left.

Poor bastard was probably a homeless person, maybe drunk. Couldn't smell any alcohol, but I don't have a sense of smell, so that's not really saying much.

[alway]

According to Russian news channels, the ongoing winter storm in the United States of America is expected to bring temperatures across the Midwest down to -50 degrees Celsius.
Judging by how temperatures of -10 degrees Celsius with a little bit of snow can easily paralyse large areas of the US, the sudden onset of Siberian winter will surely lead to apocalyptic consequences.
Probably the temperature estimates were a little bit incorrect, though.

Nope. The temperatures are accurate; that's what we're seeing in our reports too.
http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2014/01/05/22187316-only-getting-colder-blast-of-frigid-air-set-to-smash-records?lite
"Wind chills may reach 50, 60 or even 70 below zero —temperatures much of the country has not seen in decades." (though keep in mind, that's F; so -45 to -55C)

And apparently some places are already below -30:
"Already, parts of New England dropped into the negatives Saturday, with East Brighton, Vt., seeing 30 below zero just after midnight and Allagash, Maine, hitting minus 36."