Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[ChairmanPoo]

Things I learned about Ancient Rome (via Cracked) today: three words: Trained Rape Giraffes.

Want to hear something worse? Jorge Videla had trained rape dogs less than thirty years ago.

[Zangi]

Things I learned about Ancient Rome (via Cracked) today: three words: Trained Rape Giraffes.

Want to hear something worse? Jorge Videla had trained rape dogs less than thirty years ago.

One has to wonder how those animals were trained to being with... and if the 'trainers' agreed to it or not... Though... I guess that way lurks madness...

[kaijyuu]

Unless he had weird hobbies in prison, it was a little more than 30 years ago actually; 1981 is when he left power.

[scrdest]

Things I learned about Ancient Rome (via Cracked) today: three words: Trained Rape Giraffes.

Want to hear something worse? Jorge Videla had trained rape dogs less than thirty years ago.

One has to wonder how those animals were trained to being with... and if the 'trainers' agreed to it or not... Though... I guess that way lurks madness...

Pheromones, most likely.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Aw shucks, guys. They probably had prisoners to train the dogs upon.

Dunno how you train a giraffe to do anything, though.

[Frumple]

... giraffe's a mammal. Most of those are pretty trainable regardless. Hell, most things, period, are pretty trainable given enough time and the proper methods. Sometimes even inanimate things, it's crazy. It's incredibly doable (often even downright simple, if not easy) to get things to repeat doing what you want them to repeat doing, all things considered.

[Octobomb]

On the topic of Xantalos' dolphin relatives (spoilered for your convinience):

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Eeeeeeeeeeehhhhhactually....

BREAKING NEWS: DOLHPINS ARE XANTALOS'S CLOSEST LIVING RELATIVES

BREAKING NEWS: DOLPHINS HAVE MORE TENTACLES THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT

BREAKING NEWS: EVERYTHING IS DOLPHINS KREE-EE-EE KREE-EE-EE

BREAKING NEWS: SPIDERS ARE DOLPHINS! EXPERTS SAY NATURE IS EVEN MORE HORRIFYING THAN NORMAL!

BREAKING NEWS: UNIVERSAL SUBATOMIC PARTICLE "SMALLEST BUILDING BLOCK OF NATURE" FOUND TO JUST BE A BUNCH OF DOLPHINS

BREAKING NEWS: IT'S DOLPHINS ALL THE WAY DOWN

BREAKING NEWS: I AM A DOLPHIN

BREAKING NEWS: QUOTE PYRAMIDS DESIGNED BY DOLPHINS TO CONTROL LESSER BEINGS AND ANGER TOADS

DOLPHINS DOLPHINS: DOLPHINS DOLPHINS DOLPHINS

BREAKING NEWS: DOLPHINS APOLOGIZE TO TOADYONE

BREAKING NEWS: THE TOADY ONE LESS TOADY, MORE DOLPHIN-LIKE

WE NOW GO LIVE TO THE SCENE WITH XANTALOS ON THE SUBJECT OF HIS DOLPHIN RELATIVES: WELL ARE THEY?

In other news, my computer now recognises Xantalos as a word and encourages it's use. You may have started a cult here.

[Xantalos]

Started? It's been started for some time, hehehe.
And dolphins/whales are more 'approved-of beings' than family members. Though there were some pets we had a while back that we called the Liir. We had to let them go, though.

[Loud Whispers]

Hang on a minute, I thought we killed the dolphins when we burnt the ocean to the ground. I call shenanigens.

[kisame12794]

I feel proud I get that reference. And then immediate doubt, as my formidable memory refuses to recall anything that isn't obscure as hell. I can remember specific characters and actions from books I read ten years ago, but ask me what the hell I did yesterday? Fuck if I know.

[Frumple]

Hang on a minute, I thought we killed the dolphins when we burnt the ocean to the ground. I call shenanigens.

I don't know what fantasy world you're living in, LW, but out here in the real world we're taking the much longer, more torturous path of slowly turning the ocean into an unlivable acidic hell. What dolphins don't die of starvation or their desperate kin cannibalizing them will be slowly acid scoured to death from the inside out. And the outside in. At the same time.

Gotta' remember. Us humans? When we do extinction, we do it right.

[Loud Whispers]

I don't know what fantasy world you're living in, LW, but out here in the real world we're taking the much longer, more torturous path of slowly turning the ocean into an unlivable acidic hell.

Nah mate, life in general won't be killed off by us. It's the specifics that might go. Just look at Jellyfish, they love it!
All we need to do is develop immunities to deadly neurotoxin, learn how to breath underwater and survive under pressure and we can migrate into the oceans, now bereft of the dolphin menace.

[Octobomb]

Started? It's been started for some time, hehehe.
And dolphins/whales are more 'approved-of beings' than family members. Though there were some pets we had a while back that we called the Liir. We had to let them go, though.

I knew there was a cult amongst regular beings. What this is is my computer becoming part of the cult by it's own accord.
I think your cult members should be called Xantalopians. It sounds right. The logical conclusion:

ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY XANTALOPE!

[Xantalos]

Brb getting registered as a religion in several major countries

[Frumple]

ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY XANTALOPE!

Someone needs to photoshop a jackalope with Xant's avatar now.

Not sure whether it'd be better to just put the antlers on it, or keep the jackalope outline and put Xant's current avatar, like, inside it. It'd still need the hat and monocle, of course.