Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[MorleyDev]

Yeah, I looked at the main app and it's main functionality seems to be finding nearby STI clinics and getting notification of results as soon as the clinic can send them. The friend stuff is just a thing they tacked on from the looks of it, and not the core functionality of the app.

[Flying Dice]

I'm not sure how this makes me feel, so I'm just putting it in the "WTF" section xD So, I did the maths and realised I haven't had any real attraction to or infatuation with anyone in over a year. It's weird. I mean, there are probably people who if they asked me on a date, I'd see what happens, but there's nobody I'm actively interested in. It's kinda nice, actually. Maybe this is just what happens when you get older (22 = older, right?)

Oh, also on the WTF scale: This is a thing. :S

Welcome to my entire life.

Re: The app: Ninja'd, but it doesn't do much beyond making it easier to access existing medical services, and, like many other good things relating to the prevention of the spread of STDs, the people who really need to be using it are the ones that won't.

Seriously though, introversion combined with a submissive romantic personality sucks in a major way.

[MorleyDev]

For me, it's not a fear or uncertainty or not wanting to approach someone thing. It's just not seeing anybody and having the want to approach them in that way. I mean, I'm asexual but I'm not aromantic. I would like to date and do the romance with a lady in the abstract sense, but there's no particular lady with which I particularly want to do romance at the moment. Which is nice.

I mean, if a nice lady approached me and was all like "Let's make cookies and then crawl under a blanket on the sofa, cuddle and watch episodes of Adventure Time!" I'd probably go along with that. Because that sounds like an awesome time to be had by all. But still, there's no-one I'm wanting particularly to do that with at the moment.

[GiglameshDespair]

So would you do the same things if a nice bloke approached you?

[MorleyDev]

It's not something I rule out on principle, but I've never met a bloke I would. That's why I identify as heteroromantic and not bi/panromantic. Gender doesn't bother me on a superficial level, it's just never been something I've wanted to do with another of the male gender.

[GiglameshDespair]

So what exactly do you mean by 'do the romance'?

[MorleyDev]

Dinner dates, hanging out, building a connection emotionally on a level beyond friendship. The stuff people who are dating/couples do. Asexuality doesn't always mean that the other stuff that comes along with a relationship isn't still fun or you don't want that kind of thing in your life.

[GiglameshDespair]

THis may sound like I'm mocking you, but honestly I'm just trying to understand.

So you have a preference (you can only picture doing that sort of thing with women) and you'd be open to romancing a woman and, from what i can infer, other romantic things and sex.

...Isn't that just heterosexuality, but without much sex drive. I realise people love classifying themselves as something different (e.g. the semantics between bi and pansexuality) but that just sounds like you don't have much sex drive.

Are you by any chance a virgin? Not trying to pry here too much but I have a theory.

[MorleyDev]

I'm guessing you meant "other romantic things than sex"

Anyway, sex drive (also known as libido) is the desire for sexual stimulation of some kind, whilst sexuality is the attraction to people for sex: Seeing a person and experiencing sexual desire for them. They are not quite the same.

Asexuality is just "I don't experience any of that sexual desire when I look at another person". It better explains my life experiences than heterosexual, which kinda says by it's name and definition that I look at women and occasionally think "I want to stick my penis in her!" or whatever it is sexuals think/feel in that situation. To call it being 'heterosexual without sexual attraction to people of the opposite gender' to anyone is kinda like calling being heterosexual 'bisexual without sexual attraction to people of the same gender'.

It may be easier to just leave the FAQ here first

[Hanslanda]

I'm heterosexual and aromantic.

[My Name is Immaterial]

I'm heterosexual and aromantic.

He's fucking with us.

Heh.

[Hanslanda]

But no, seriously. It's not that I'm not all for relationships. It's that I physically cannot comprehend being in one at this time. I love women and want to date women, but I just... Can't. I'm severely emotionally withdrawn from the last relationship. Any time it becomes possible that I might get close to someone, I subconsciously sabotage it. Sometimes I deliberately sabotage it. I don't know.

[Neonivek]

But no, seriously. It's not that I'm not all for relationships. It's that I physically cannot comprehend being in one at this time. I love women and want to date women, but I just... Can't. I'm severely emotionally withdrawn from the last relationship. Any time it becomes possible that I might get close to someone, I subconsciously sabotage it. Sometimes I deliberately sabotage it. I don't know.

Hmmm could be fear of intimacy... either because you are afraid of being intimate or because you do not trust the other.

[Hanslanda]

Probably. My first and last girlfriend did a pretty fucked up thing to me towards the end of our relationship. I did a lot of fucked up shit too, but not to that extent. :/ And all I've been in since then has been shallow sex things.

[GiglameshDespair]

I'd ask, but I have the feeling you'd prefer to keep it private.

Guess you have to keep on trying. Move things so slow it's glacial. Maybe see a psychologist, talk it through with a professional? Probably better than armchair psychologists on the internet.