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[MetalSlimeHunt]

It explodes violently the second it leaves your bioelectric field, shattering the toilet and filling your body with shrapnel. That's DRM for you.

Not to mention stealing your spouse, running over your dog, loading everything else you own with viruses (yes, even your couch has a Trojan), changing your passwords, and alerting the authorities of things you didn't do.

My sister had a smartphone. When she came home she forgot to sacrifice another child to it so it released the Trojans. I woke up to a Sunday morning seeing that the entire kitchen was sealed off by a giant wall manned by Phrygians. I was so freaking pissed, it took a bloody decade to get them out.
All because of that damned smartphone.

Shield walls, man. Shield walls everywhere.

[Steelmagic]

It explodes violently the second it leaves your bioelectric field, shattering the toilet and filling your body with shrapnel. That's DRM for you.

Not to mention stealing your spouse, running over your dog, loading everything else you own with viruses (yes, even your couch has a Trojan), changing your passwords, and alerting the authorities of things you didn't do.

My sister had a smartphone. When she came home she forgot to sacrifice another child to it so it released the Trojans. I woke up to a Sunday morning seeing that the entire kitchen was sealed off by a giant wall manned by Phrygians. I was so freaking pissed, it took a bloody decade to get them out.
All because of that damned smartphone.

See reasons like this are why i just have a nice, cheap, prepaid phone. I had a friend who had a smart phone and he dropped it we had to  literally fight through the legions of hell to get out of the house.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Non-smart phones have their own problems. It is a little known fact, for example, that earthquakes are caused by Nokias thrown to the ground in anger. After burrowing into the mantel they occasionally collide, causing massive vibration.

[Steelmagic]

Yeah but if you treat them with respect your fine. You so much as look at a smart phone in a way it doesn't like, you condemn anyone you've ever met to death.

[Neonivek]

My brother was about to grate some cheese so I said "You must be feeling Grate today, stop being so cheesy"

Yeah but if you treat them with respect your fine. You so much as look at a smart phone in a way it doesn't like, you condemn anyone you've ever met to death.

Sounds like you are just phoning it in

[Loud Whispers]

My brother was about to grate some cheese so I said "You must be feeling Grate today, stop being so cheesy"

Yeah but if you treat them with respect your fine. You so much as look at a smart phone in a way it doesn't like, you condemn anyone you've ever met to death.

Sounds like you are just phoning it in

You're calling it short. They're evil.

[Neonivek]

You're calling it short. They're evil.

Looks like you just served a TALL glass of payback.

But I don't cry over spilt milk, or else things turn sour.

[MaximumZero]

You're calling it short. They're evil.

Ahem.

[Loud Whispers]

You're calling it short. They're evil.

Ahem.

I don't like your ringtone of voice.

[Steelmagic]

You're calling it short. They're evil.

Ahem.

I don't like your ringtone of voice.

I think this subject's days are numbered.

[MaximumZero]

You're calling it short. They're evil.

Ahem.

I don't like your ringtone of voice.

Don't answer that call! It's coming from...inside the phone! Dun dun dunnnnnnnn!

[Loud Whispers]

You're calling it short. They're evil.

Ahem.

I don't like your ringtone of voice.

Don't answer that call! It's coming from...inside the phone! Dun dun dunnnnnnnn!

BUT WHO WAS PHONE?

[Neonivek]

You're calling it short. They're evil.

Ahem.

I don't like your ringtone of voice.

Don't answer that call! It's coming from...inside the phone! Dun dun dunnnnnnnn!

BUT WHO WAS PHONE?

YOU WERE PHONE!

[Steelmagic]

This thread brought to you by M. Night Shymalan.

[Furtuka]

This thread brought to you by M. Night Shymalan.

In collaboration with Peter Chimaera