This dream was like something taken out of a puzzle adventure. I was trapped in an octagonal room, with garish purple walls, black-and-white checkered floors, and a lime green ceiling. Along with me was a sort of insufferable prince, and a fat and doddering husband and wife couple, all of whom I needed to escort to safety. The room was sparsely decorated with cabinets, with no windows, fluorescent lights, and only one door forward. I told everyone else to stay put, while I pushed it open and stepped through.
There was a long hallway leading forward, dominated by a hunched over Mechanical Clown. He had a tall, white, emaciated face, and his hands were wrapped around some kind of radial gauge driven into his chest. The gauge dial bounced from green to yellow, and above it was a big red button, unlabled. As I stepped into the hallway, the gauge spiked toward the red, and the Clown perked up and looked at me. With servos grinding and whirring, he said "Come on, then." in a synthetic cockney accent, and flashed a jerky mechanical smile, showing off his huge teeth. Fully articulated teeth, I noticed, and a jaw that moved. Not taking my eyes off him, I backed into the other room. The Clown remained looking and grinning until I went through the door, when he whirred and buzzed back into his rest position.
The prince was pacing around, his horrible cream and yellow tunic and cape fluttering behind him. He was groaning something about how dreadful that Clown was, and how he didn't want to get any closer. I didn't want to argue with him, and decided to start looking around the room for tools or secret passages instead. The husband and wife joined me, puttering around the room opening cabinet drawers, rifling through potted plants, and so on. In one corner, nestled behind an end table painted the same garish purple-and-lime the rest of the room was, I found a small plush Winnie the Pooh Doll, holding a simple metal box. I held it up, and asked if anyone had any idea what it was. The woman walked over and looked at it for a moment, and said "Why, it's a box full of No." Before I could ask what she meant, she pointed to a label on the top side of the box that read "A box full of No." Whoever said you can't read in your dreams lied.
With no other ideas, I decided to take it into the hall with me, and see how the Clown reacted. The prince and the couple crowded into the hallway behind me to watch. As we approached, the Clown's gauge spiked into the red, and he perked up as before, this time squeaking closer to us along a track set in the center of the floor. As he opened his mouth to speak, flashing his hideous smile, the Winnie the Pooh Doll I was holding came to life as well. It looked at the Clown, and in a stern, synthesized
Sterling Holloway voice simply said "No."
The Clown was admonished. His smile faded into an exaggerated frown, like the Greek tragedy mask, and the gauge under the red button dropped toward the green. The Doll repeated "No," and the Clown backed away a short distance along his track. I stepped forward, with the prince and the couple in tow, driving the Mechanical Clown further and further away with Winnie the Pooh's stern reprimands. As we got nearer to the other end, the voice of the Pooh Doll started to waver and sink in pitch, like a record player slowing down, or a cassette player running out of batteries. The gauge on the Clown started to flicker back up toward the yellow again, and the tragic expression whirred back into a half-grin. Worried that the Box Full of No was running out, I stepped around to the left side of the Clown, and brought the Pooh Doll close. I waved the others to get around, and they hurried behind me while I held him at bay.
The Doll's voice was fading quickly now, and the Clown's gauge was hovering dangerously close to red. I shouted to the others to start running, and stepped around toward the far door, holding the Doll close to the Clown's face so that each fading "No," would still affect him. I remembered the unlabled red button above the Clown's gauge, and realized I was actually close enough to hit it now, though I didn't know what it would do, if anything.
I didn't have much time to consider it, though. The Winnie the Pooh Doll had run out of No, and the Clown's gauge skittered back up into the red. Smiling once more, the Mechanical Clown wheeled toward me along his track. His mouth opened as he said "Come on, then," one more time, and I took the opportunity to stuff the plush Pooh Doll's head into his open mouth. The Clown then proceeded to chew. Mr. Holloway's synthesized voice gave one last, muffled "Nooooo..." before falling silent.
Out of desperation, I darted forward, and punched the red button with my index finger.
As I backed away, the mangled Pooh Doll fell from the Clown's mouth. His hands rose from the gauge he was holding, the dial jumping up as high as it could go into the red, before becoming stuck. The Mechanical Clown's face buzzed and clattered as it reconfigured itself into an absolutely manic smile, and in the same synthesized cockney accent as before said "Tha's the duckiest endin' I know!"
He lunged at me, his mouth unhinging like a snake's. His teeth were at waist level, and bit into my groin. I felt a sharp pain, as he began to tear at my torso with knife-like hands.
...and then I woke up.
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Topic: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O (Read 14939737 times)