Monday was another Drug Court session.
So, I've been doing (mostly) what they wanted me to do, so I wasn't exactly worried per se. I HAD made a misstep and missed the first day of a community service thing, but my PO said to just go to the second day.
Anyways, I'm sitting there, and I realized something odd. "Wow." I said to myself, "They're only calling people that are phasing up (getting restrictions loosened) or going to prison." Finally, the (as I soon found out) second to last person is called, and terminated (sent to prison.) He asks if he can give his wallet to his wife, and they allow him this. As he's walking over to give his wallet to his wife, I noticed something. "Huh," I says. "It's almost like the judge is looking at." I look again. "Weird, the judge is STARING right at me."
...
"Oh shit, the judge is fucking staring RIGHT AT ME."
Then, the judge waves up my PO (Two PO's in court at the time, so this wasn't unusual) and they have a brief but... Obviously intense conversation. Then, the judge calls... Me to the stand. I go up, shake his hand, and he looks at me, completely unreadable.
"Jacob... You..." OH GOD I'M GOING TO PRISON. "Are doing good." Then he talked to me some about what I can do better, then lets me go sit back down.
What happened there was, and I am 100% sure of this, is that they had previously decided to send me to prison. While I was sitting there, the judge thought of a couple things he'd been told when he first started this Drug Court (I know he did because he said it yesterday at the Graduation Ceremony for some other people.)
The first is: "When you're picking people for drug court, don't pick the people that are just in a bit of trouble, and can easily sail through the requirements. When you pick them, go find the most troublesome, most stressful individuals you can. The ones that make you go, "He's fucking hopeless, let's just send him upstate." THOSE are the ones you need in drug court."
And two: "The thing about drug addicts is that, under all these preconceived notions we have... "Drug addicts are violent. Drug addicts commit crimes. Drug addicts are bad people." There is a universal truth. "Drug addicts... Are PEOPLE." No one type of person is BAD, is IRREDEEEMABLE. Everyone makes mistakes and screws up, and it's far too easy to just send them to prison for it. Sometimes you have to forgive."
Oh, and at the Graduation, the CEO of the National Association for Drug Court Professionals (West Huddleston) is... A 25 years clean drug addict who was on Drug Court once. Mind = blown, for most of us drug court-ers.