I'm sometimes surprised how little others seem to cry. I always thought it was just repressed emotion because ya know, men don't cry in public. But no, apparently they don't in private either, whereas I tear up at the slightest provocation.
For me, at least, it was because from a very early age I was taught by my peers that crying = further punching or taunting. Hell, I had to work hard to get tears out when my first dog died. Not because I didn't feel absolutely awful, but because I literally couldn't cry unless I forced myself to go over everything again and again, soaking my mind in regrets, in order for it to get through to my body. And I didn't want to appear insensitive.
See, I don't remember ever being conditioned against crying. I cried as a child at different things. I distinctly remember crying when a somewhat distant relative died (after we had gotten home from the funeral), possibly because it was the first time somebody I
knew had died. That's what makes the Asperger's potential suspect -- it's something you're born with, not something you develop. Whereas I seem to have become more like this over time.
Another WTF is that this may potentially be what finishes my marriage, moreso than the infidelity. My wife even said yesterday that she had been moving towards reconciliation in her head, but wasn't sure she could stay married to an aspie, if that turns out to be the diagnosis. She kept saying, "How could I have married THAT??" While that seems harsh and intolerant, she's probably accurate in that assessment. My wife is like anti-aspie -- she's empathic to the point where (IMO) it's almost crippling. When close friends have tragedies in their life, she feels it almost as acutely as they do. That disparity is a problem.