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[MetalSlimeHunt]

Yes, political dissidents are not being black bagged by the United States government or affiliate agencies openly or otherwise, God Bless America.

I will now proceed to unwisely party hard as college students like me are so want to do and will likely die as a result of my own unforeseeable stupidity and nothing else.

[GaxkangtheUnbound]

Whilst coming home from a night out in the city, I come across the weirdest things:
1. It seems to be jeep night in my county, because there's jeeps and cop cars on the highway leading into the mountains. A cop car and a jeep turn into my neighborhood, and then the jeep randomly speeds up to an insane speed and swerves around the corner right in front of the cop car. The cop car did absolutely nothing.

2. A figure was standing in the middle of a side road, no lights on, no lights from nearby houses, nothing. It was pure darkness. I don't think normal people don't stand in the middle of the side street at 10 PM in a rural county.

3. When I get out of the car, I hear beeping and the sound of swerving in the distance. Perhaps it was the same jeep? I really don't know.

What the fuck is going on? Did I somehow drive into Silent Hill on my way home? Or do I happen to live in a county full of insane people?

[Hanslanda]

...
Indeed.
>.>
<.<

Alright, if you see my code, you need to get out of your house. They're on their way right now. You've got about five minutes before they get to you. Be swift and stealthy, they are well trained and numerous. Stick to the forests and try to live off the land. Avoid people, you can trust no one. Good luck.

I shall now go drive recklessly on dangerous roads in the rain and certainly die of a car crash and nothing sinister.

[Xantalos]

I would proceed to emerge from my prison only to be defeated by AMERICA, but they can't do that, because I live in Canada. Also, Stephen Harper is the best man of all time who will certainly not utilize his stare to destroy me if I piss him off.

[Flying Dice]

2. A figure was standing in the middle of a side road, no lights on, no lights from nearby houses, nothing. It was pure darkness. I don't think normal people don't stand in the middle of the side street at 10 PM in a rural county.

Was it abnormally tall? Did it have a face? I think you can see where this is going...

[Wrex]

2. A figure was standing in the middle of a side road, no lights on, no lights from nearby houses, nothing. It was pure darkness. I don't think normal people don't stand in the middle of the side street at 10 PM in a rural county.

Was it abnormally tall? Did it have a face? I think you can see where this is going...

I met him at IHOP once. He is fond of hash browns.

[GaxkangtheUnbound]

2. A figure was standing in the middle of a side road, no lights on, no lights from nearby houses, nothing. It was pure darkness. I don't think normal people don't stand in the middle of the side street at 10 PM in a rural county.

Was it abnormally tall? Did it have a face? I think you can see where this is going...

I'm pretty sure he would have noticed if I was tall or not.

[Flying Dice]

2. A figure was standing in the middle of a side road, no lights on, no lights from nearby houses, nothing. It was pure darkness. I don't think normal people don't stand in the middle of the side street at 10 PM in a rural county.

Was it abnormally tall? Did it have a face? I think you can see where this is going...

I'm pretty sure he would have noticed if I was tall or not.

What is this I don't even

[Xantalos]

2. A figure was standing in the middle of a side road, no lights on, no lights from nearby houses, nothing. It was pure darkness. I don't think normal people don't stand in the middle of the side street at 10 PM in a rural county.

Was it abnormally tall? Did it have a face? I think you can see where this is going...

I'm pretty sure he would have noticed if I was tall or not.

Slendy, you still owe me that twenty dollars.
What is this I don't even

[Flying Dice]

2. A figure was standing in the middle of a side road, no lights on, no lights from nearby houses, nothing. It was pure darkness. I don't think normal people don't stand in the middle of the side street at 10 PM in a rural county.

Was it abnormally tall? Did it have a face? I think you can see where this is going...

I'm pretty sure he would have noticed if I was tall or not.

Slendy, you still owe me that twenty dollars.
What is this I don't even

Is incompetent quoting a trait common to eldritch abominations? 

[MaximumZero]

2. A figure was standing in the middle of a side road, no lights on, no lights from nearby houses, nothing. It was pure darkness. I don't think normal people don't stand in the middle of the side street at 10 PM in a rural county.

Was it abnormally tall? Did it have a face? I think you can see where this is going...

I'm pretty sure he would have noticed if I was tall or not.

Slendy, you still owe me that twenty dollars.
What is this I don't even

Is incompetent quoting a trait common to eldritch abominations? 

I thought that was a FTFY...

[Xantalos]

2. A figure was standing in the middle of a side road, no lights on, no lights from nearby houses, nothing. It was pure darkness. I don't think normal people don't stand in the middle of the side street at 10 PM in a rural county.

Was it abnormally tall? Did it have a face? I think you can see where this is going...

I'm pretty sure he would have noticed if I was tall or not.

Slendy, you still owe me that twenty dollars.

What is this I don't even

Is incompetent quoting a trait common to eldritch abominations? 

We're horrible at that. Now it's fixed.

[Descan]

No it isn't

[Xantalos]

No it isn't

ARGABVLDJKTSWFIG

2. A figure was standing in the middle of a side road, no lights on, no lights from nearby houses, nothing. It was pure darkness. I don't think normal people don't stand in the middle of the side street at 10 PM in a rural county.

Was it abnormally tall? Did it have a face? I think you can see where this is going...

I'm pretty sure he would have noticed if I was tall or not.

Slendy, you still owe me that twenty dollars.

What is this I don't even

Is incompetent quoting a trait common to eldritch abominations? 

I have the feeling I just made it worse.

[Flying Dice]

This is actually close to a month old, but...

One of my coworkers laughed like Scooby Doo. Not 'sort of' like him, but spot-on.