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[penguinofhonor]

Besides, my WTF was less that he was charged with assault and more of a "who in the hell gets mad at someone and decides to wreak vengeance with a bottle of steak sauce??"

Well I wouldn't be surprised if there was a similar scene in Fifty Shades of Gray that he was trying to ironically reenact.

[RedKing]

The best bit of that article (when taken out of context):

According to authorities in Carlisle, U.K., Raymond Hodgson was so bothered that his girlfriend, Emma McCormick, was reading E.L. James' "pornographic" and "distasteful" book, he drove to her house and squirted her in the face.

Uhhhhhhh....yeah. Who's being pornographic again?

[kaijyuu]

Hitting people in the face with food products is assault now? Man, that kills a lot of practical jokes.

[Scelly9]

Actually, considering the amount of practical jokes that involve air cannons, cookie sheets, ball shots, and basketballs, I think they where assault already.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Hitting people in the face with food products is assault now? Man, that kills a lot of practical jokes.

In other news, an elementary school cafeteria devolved into a massive brawl today, with children violently attacking each other with such objects as mashed potatoes and peas. Upset parents demanded to know why such weapons were allowed on school grounds.

[Nilik]

We have to ban food! Think of the children!

[MaximumZero]

Man charged with assault for throwing fries at stepdaughter...

The question is this: Wouldn't they have done more damage to her body if she had just eaten them?

[Euld]

Hitting people in the face with food products is assault now? Man, that kills a lot of practical jokes.

In other news, an elementary school cafeteria devolved into a massive brawl today, with children violently attacking each other with such objects as mashed potatoes and peas. Upset parents demanded to know why such weapons were allowed on school grounds.

A vast majority of the students were marched off to prison shortly afterward, all tried as adults for assaulting their fellow students with deadly weapons.  Some may have to be executed.

[Hanslanda]

Hitting people in the face with food products is assault now? Man, that kills a lot of practical jokes.

In other news, an elementary school cafeteria devolved into a massive brawl today, with children violently attacking each other with such objects as mashed potatoes and peas. Upset parents demanded to know why such weapons were allowed on school grounds.

A vast majority of the students were marched off to prison shortly afterward, all tried as adults for assaulting their fellow students with deadly weapons.  Some may have to be executed.

Today, anarchy in the streets as the violent anti-anti-food riots continue. Thousands of people crying such slogans as, "Are you fucking insane?" have been demanding that all laws banning food from schools be destroyed, while their opposition cries such slogans as, "Think of the children you monsters!"
Four thousand anti food supporters were killed. Only two anti-anti food rioters were killed, one by a thrown potato, the other by a frightening deluge of sharpened carrots.
Sports at nine.

[Urist Imiknorris]

What have I done.

[Hanslanda]

Lol, some kind of horrible internet Tantrum spiral.

[Frumple]

Lol, some kind of horrible internet Tantrum spiral.

Today, I wtf'd at a misspelling of the word "beautiful" -- there's no hs, os, or rs in it.

[Hanslanda]

Actually, I was trying to write 'awesome' but the FBI autocorrected it for me. Bastards. Swell guys, ain't they?

[Frumple]

Swell indeed. In other news, I also just had an amazing semi-WTF flash of musical inspiration, regarding lyrics. Going through older songs and changing the lyrics to make all the innuendo completely blatant.

Spoiler: In the Immortal Words of Elvis (click to show/hide)

Less talking more fucking!

Anyone know if someone's actually done this? It seems like an obvious atrocity to inflict.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

I can only imagine what you'd turn Jailhouse Rock and I Wanna Hold Your Hand into.