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[Karnewarrior]

The Ark was upside down. It was also airtight. It was far too large to float... But it would hold a hell of a lot of air....

 

[Putnam]

The flood was actually magma. It got very hot in that ark, despite the fact that it was full of air.

[lordcooper]

Actually, I'm pretty sure the ark was a transdimensional portal that provided them with temporary refuge in Heaven..  It's really annoying when you guys mock history without bothering to check the facts first.

[kaijyuu]

There's a reason most people see the ark story as non-literal; it's entirely impossible with any size boat.

That's not true. You could theoretically build a boat capable of hosting two instances of every living species, it would just be the largest boat ever made and would be a completely impractical waste of resources that would most likely end up sinking anyway.

Keep in mind though, that the Ark would have been made entirely of wood. We have discovered the upper limit for a wooden boat; it was smaller than most cruise liners, was steel-reinforced, and was only stable at anchor.

Who says it had to be one solid object? Could've been like, 50,000 rafts tied together.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Spoiler: Actually... (click to show/hide)

[alway]

There's a reason most people see the ark story as non-literal; it's entirely impossible with any size boat.

That's not true. You could theoretically build a boat capable of hosting two instances of every living species, it would just be the largest boat ever made and would be a completely impractical waste of resources that would most likely end up sinking anyway.

Keep in mind though, that the Ark would have been made entirely of wood. We have discovered the upper limit for a wooden boat; it was smaller than most cruise liners, was steel-reinforced, and was only stable at anchor.

If you are taking it entirely literally, it's actually pretty specific about dimensions.
"This is how you are to build it: The ark is to be 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high.
Make a roof for it and finish the ark to within 18 inches of the top. Put a door in the side of the ark and make lower, middle and upper decks."
Which comes out to about 100,000 square feet when you include all 3 decks; a pretty small space to fit a breeding population (and 40 days of food) for even the 1.3 million discovered animal species; let alone the undiscovered ones. And you thought factory farms were bad.

[SalmonGod]

There's a reason most people see the ark story as non-literal; it's entirely impossible with any size boat.

That's not true. You could theoretically build a boat capable of hosting two instances of every living species, it would just be the largest boat ever made and would be a completely impractical waste of resources that would most likely end up sinking anyway.

Nah.  It was just the ancient technological equivalent of a thumb drive (probably based on mysterious crystal energy!) containing a comprehensive dna database.

[Sirus]

There's a reason most people see the ark story as non-literal; it's entirely impossible with any size boat.

That's not true. You could theoretically build a boat capable of hosting two instances of every living species, it would just be the largest boat ever made and would be a completely impractical waste of resources that would most likely end up sinking anyway.

Keep in mind though, that the Ark would have been made entirely of wood. We have discovered the upper limit for a wooden boat; it was smaller than most cruise liners, was steel-reinforced, and was only stable at anchor.

Who says it had to be one solid object? Could've been like, 50,000 rafts tied together.

That would work if the Bible didn't provide dimensions for the Ark's construction (including height, IIRC), which was, again, smaller than most cruise ships. Checkmate.

Fake Edit: Alway kinda beat me to it.

[kaijyuu]

All theories ever are true. All of them. At the same time.

[alway]

There's a reason most people see the ark story as non-literal; it's entirely impossible with any size boat.

That's not true. You could theoretically build a boat capable of hosting two instances of every living species, it would just be the largest boat ever made and would be a completely impractical waste of resources that would most likely end up sinking anyway.

Nah.  It was just the ancient technological equivalent of a thumb drive (probably based on mysterious crystal energy!) containing a comprehensive dna database.

Though even in that case, it still wouldn't work; as the mandate requires '2 of each kind;' but without any rigorous, scientific meaning of 'kind' that becomes muddled and entirely unworkable. Even the well defined, modern notion of 'species' breaks down fairly quickly, as there is no real dividing line between one and the next.

And then there are some slight requirements for a habitable biosphere which are overlooked... like habitats. 'what do we do with these bark-beetles now that all the trees are dead and we weren't told to take any?' 'ah, just put it in the stew with the others...'

Quite the incompetent planning all around, really. Then again, the whole plan is the result of said planner-deity saying 'ah, shit, I need a do-over.' A do-over which happened to involve genociding nearly all of everything. A do-over which the planner-deity thought was required because, after giving a creation free-will to do what they wanted, they did something other than what planner-deity wanted them to do. By excersizing their free will. >_>

I wouldn't trust this deity to be competent enough to hire it for a job as a Walmart temp-worker...

[SalmonGod]

Quite the incompetent planning all around, really. Then again, the whole plan is the result of said planner-deity saying 'ah, shit, I need a do-over.' A do-over which happened to involve genociding nearly all of everything. >_>

I do like the irony here.  The story is supposed to be an example of the infallible omni-being's amazing miracle powers, but with a critical glance you realize that it's a massive demonstration of that being's epic fallibility.

[MaximumZero]

So, christians, fess up. Which one of you fuckers grabbed the mosquitoes instead of leaving them all to drown?

[Sirus]

This comic starts very sadly, but has a nice twist ending.

[SalmonGod]

A do-over which the planner-deity thought was required because, after giving a creation free-will to do what they wanted, they did something other than what planner-deity wanted them to do. By excersizing their free will. >_>

I've always thought the idea of free will to be a rather anomalous one within the framework of Christian theology, also.  They believe in an all-knowing/all-powerful being that meticulously placed every particle in the universe (he has a plan, after all) and then flipped the switch to set it all in motion, basically guaranteeing that, given his infinite knowledge, he should know exactly everything that's going to happen ever based purely on causality... and then they also believe that he gave us free will.

Wut.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Quite the incompetent planning all around, really. Then again, the whole plan is the result of said planner-deity saying 'ah, shit, I need a do-over.' A do-over which happened to involve genociding nearly all of everything. >_>

I do like the irony here.  The story is supposed to be an example of the infallible omni-being's amazing miracle powers, but with a critical glance you realize that it's a massive demonstration of that being's epic fallibility.

No, the best part is that said deity decides to annihilate humanity because we were having sex with giants/angels and making human-giant/angel hybrids.

You think I'm fucking with you, but you're wrong.