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[Bauglir]

Did... did he ever tell you what he wanted you to do with them?

[miauw62]

I'm sticking with windows 7.

Why the fuck throw over everything?

A computer != a smartphone.
Its not because your smartphones appear to be horrible failures that we have to be crammed something horrid up our throat D:

[Loud Whispers]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Somebody mother fucking mailed me their dead relative's ashes in temporary urns to my law office.... Clients, but still, holy shit.

The outside box was completely unmarked except for the addresses and just like a normal package you sign for.... I thought it might be office supplies or some such. Then, after you open the outside box and get the bubble wrap out, inside that were two smaller boxes saying that they were temporary urns containing the remains of [so and so] and the other said [Mrs so and so].

So, now, sitting on my conference room table are literally two dead people. They are in temporary urns inside boxes, inside a larger box.

That is one way to figure out the clients are dead and I need to start working on filing all the paperwork for their wills/probate estate. What the hell am I supposed to do with them?!?! The relative doesn't seem to know. If there are instructions, then they're in the safety deposit box, to which I don't have a key (I told them to give me one damn it; this is what happens.... I fucking tell people, I do...). That's even assuming there ARE instructions. And, do you think anyone bothered to call me and so much as say they were dead, or I mean at least tell me you're literally fucking mailing human remains to me before you do? NOPE. 'Course not!

Screw everything, I rarely say this, but that is NOT in the god damn job description. The fuck? This has NEVER happened before and I've been doing this for a few years. It's Monday, there was a full moon last night, yup.... What's next, people mailing me a god damn corpse until the heat dies down? Screw people so much sometimes....

Creeps. me. the. hell. out. Putting  the box and them in the closet for the time being (where the shit am I supposed to put 'em?).

This was never supposed to happen, ever.

I think I win the thread and I keep trying NOT to.

The guy is pissed off I drove his dead parents back to the nursing home and am billing him for it..... really?

How dare you give his dead parents back.

[Truean]

Did... did he ever tell you what he wanted you to do with them?

no

[Levi]

Apparently me breathing in my bed at night causes enough of a weight shift to make my floors creak and annoy the hell out of my downstairs neighbor (who is also unfortunately my landlord).   

[ChairmanPoo]

Did... did he ever tell you what he wanted you to do with them?

no

Maybe they were your payment

[Flying Dice]

Did... did he ever tell you what he wanted you to do with them?

no

Maybe they were your payment

I wish I was paid in human remains!

[Truean]

Did... did he ever tell you what he wanted you to do with them?

no

Maybe they were your payment

I wish I was paid in human remains!

Cash, check, visa, or parent?

A.) Only those first three in order of preference.
B.) It's an arm and a leg, or your first born.... No, a thousand times, no.

[miauw62]

Yeah, first born is a bit too much.
Last born is MUCH more reasonable.


_{jk, obviously}

[RedKing]

Here's a tip, kids: Never learn enough about medicine to understand Wikipedia entries on what you have and what they're prescribing you to "fix" it.
Just DON'T.


Long story short: They think I have one of the kinds of bacterial infections that you usually get from overuse of antibiotics when you're in a hospital or nursing home. I haven't been on any antibiotics in months, nor have I been in a hospital or nursing home in months. Nor have any of my family. So that's the first WTF. Left untreated, it could kill me.

Better yet? The antibiotic they're prescribing (yes, I'm already aware of the irony of using an antibiotic to kill something that's mostly a problem because of antibiotics) "is listed by the US National Toxicology Program (NTP) as reasonably anticipated to be a human carcinogen". HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE, WHAT? D:

Also, it rarely but occasionally causes Stevens-Johnson syndrome, also known as "your fucking skin dies and falls off".

And it has been linked occasionally to serotonin syndrome, where your body rapidly builds up toxic levels of serotonin. Despite what you might think, no this does not mean you get an epic buzz and die super happy. Instead, symptoms include very high fever, rapid heartbeat, muscle twitching, agitation and "hyperactive bowel sounds".
GREAT. That's how I always wanted to go out: like an Ecstasy overdose but with way more farting.

Jesus...I know these are extremely rare complications, but still....
I much preferred it when medicine = "Take this magic pill and you'll be all better!" than "Roll d100: On 01-97, you steadily improve over 1d2 weeks. On 97, your skin falls off. On 98, you get cancer. On 99, you burst into flames. On 00, you do all three of the above simultaneously."

[Jervill]

The medical side-effect addition is just one of the many reasons RL 9.5 is far superior to RL 10.0

[Truean]

I'm the sort who just says, "I can actually take it, tell me the side effects.... Sounds unpleasant.... Uh huh, and is there anything you could do for me if that happens or am I screwed? Either way, just trying to plan my day."

[MonkeyHead]

Doctors tend not to like being questioned by a Scientist about thier work. Possbly as they dont like the idea I could actually understand and pick holes in thier argument.

"So, whats this machine here Doc?"

"Thats an ultrasound imager."

"What frequency does it use?"

"I dont know, sorry."

"I do - it says right here in the user manual..."

[GalenEvil]

User Manual!? They're Doctors (supposedly)! Doctors don't need to know how something works to assume that it works nowadays! >.>

[RedKing]

I'm the sort who just says, "I can actually take it, tell me the side effects.... Sounds unpleasant.... Uh huh, and is there anything you could do for me if that happens or am I screwed? Either way, just trying to plan my day."

I'm normally pretty rational about risk assessment. For instance, no worries getting on an airplane or worries about terrorist strikes. But that's partially because I have virtually no control over those things and so as a good Taoist, I don't sweat it.

But here, I'm the one who has to actually take that carcinogenic pill, stick it in my mouth, and swallow. That seems to make a difference, at least in the "Oh shit, don't let me end up as a fascinating sidebar in a medical textbook" department. I'm still going to take the medicine, I'd just be happier without knowing the intricacies of the black magic powering it, just as I'm happy flying without knowing the failure rates of the various components of the metal tube that holds me 35,000 feet over the Earth's hard, unforgiving surface.