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[Phantom of The Library]

My unread posts list is now 7 pages long.

I think I'll pass.

Have we learned our lesson yet?

[MaximumZero]

So, yeah. My WTF for today? I talked to the ex-wife. She wants to continue to be friends. With benefits.

Welp, I'm glad that at least that part of the relationship was good.

[Loud Whispers]

My unread posts list is now 7 pages long.

I think I'll pass.

Have we learned our lesson yet?

5... 4... 3...

[Ehndras]

So, yeah. My WTF for today? I talked to the ex-wife. She wants to continue to be friends. With benefits.

Welp, I'm glad that at least that part of the relationship was good.

Heh, you too?

This was after I made my fiance cry, after she made me feel like shit because she wanted to be an utter bitch. Fun day indeed.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

So, yeah. My WTF for today? I talked to the ex-wife. She wants to continue to be friends. With benefits.

Welp, I'm glad that at least that part of the relationship was good.

She's going to trick you into impregnating her and then she'll bite your head off and consume your corpse for nutrients.

Trust me on this MZ, she's a Mantisperson. I know the signs when I see them.

[TherosPherae]

And while we're on the topic of relationships, I feel like I'm kind of jumping on the "Forever Alone" train. This qualifies as wtf because half the people I speak to regularly keep spouting about how nice I am and how intelligent I am and stuff like that.

Wait a sec-OH DEAR GOD.

I've become a Mary Sue. Obviously, we have a very... generous GM of the universe.

[MaximumZero]

So, yeah. My WTF for today? I talked to the ex-wife. She wants to continue to be friends. With benefits.

Welp, I'm glad that at least that part of the relationship was good.

She's going to trick you into impregnating her and then she'll bite your head off and consume your corpse for nutrients.

Trust me on this MZ, she's a Mantisperson. I know the signs when I see them.

Naw. Contraceptives are on the docket. Also, she's aware of my polyamorous nature.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

So, yeah. My WTF for today? I talked to the ex-wife. She wants to continue to be friends. With benefits.

Welp, I'm glad that at least that part of the relationship was good.

She's going to trick you into impregnating her and then she'll bite your head off and consume your corpse for nutrients.

Trust me on this MZ, she's a Mantisperson. I know the signs when I see them.

Naw. Contraceptives are on the docket. Also, she's aware of my polyamorous nature.

I don't think you quite understand. Your ex-wife is literally a giant praying mantis masquerading as a human, and she is going to literally pull out her giant mandibles and bite your head off so that she may provide nutrients to her human-mantis hybrids via your decaying corpse. I know what I'm talking about here. They wouldn't bother to run a smear campaign portraying me as utterly insane unless I was actually onto the Mantis Conspiracy.

[MaximumZero]

Eh, good enough for me. I'm not picky.

[Criptfeind]

I've been told by pet owners that dogs lick your cuts and stuff because it's how dogs clean and heal their own wounds.

To bad it was not licking my wounds, only my blood.

Also yeah. My blood is damn tasty, in retrospect I can hardly blame it, I mean, how can I be mad at it for doing something I myself do?

[Phantom of The Library]

Finally, another who agrees!

[Max White]

What? That blood is tasty? Yea, I will agree to that...

[Frumple]

Make that three four. For someone that rather dislikes blood from other sources, I'm annoyingly fond of my own. Smells great, tastes delicious. In small quantities, anyway.

[Criptfeind]

No, that my blood is extra tasty.

I should open a vampire restaurant or something.

[kisame12794]

My arms have scars because I kept picking at my scabs and licking up the blood. :|