Went on a 12-mile canoe trip today. Here's the highlight of the day.
We stopped for some rest/play time at a nice spot where there was a sandy beach on one side and a large rock overhang on the other. So we landed on the beach and the more outdoorsy adventerous of us built up the courage to swim across the strong current in the middle to reach the calm, deep, shaded area under the rock overhang. I'm the first one to get there, expecting to tread water and rest for a bit after fighting the current... but was surprised to find a very convenient rock shelf a couple feet under the water.
So we were happily standing there talking about geological formation and the likelihood of cave development beneath the water... and I spot a blue tailed skink. It's just clinging there to the wall behind us. I try to catch it, but I'm too afraid of crushing it against the rock or pinning its tail (which will fall off), while there are too many little pockets and crevices for it to cleverly weave through for the classic use-one-hand-to-chase-it-into-the-other technique to work.
At one point, it jumps into the water and then clings to the wall again just above water level. So it looks like it doesn't have much of anywhere to go. I think I'm going to get it this time. I prepare carefullly, placing one leg higher up on the incline for balance as I lean forward... and it jumps into the water again and disappears. It really disappears. Cannot figure out where it went. As soon as it jumped in, I looked downstream and it wasn't there in the water. Then I realize... the bottom of my swimming shorts were hanging just down to water level... and... yup... there's a squirming there.
There's a lizard in my shorts. It's underneath the lining, so I can't reach in and get it from the top, and it's too far up to reach from the bottom. I can't get it out without taking my shorts off. It's just clinging to my butt, enjoying its safety there. I try for a while to chase it out, but it is really stubborn. It just wiggles up closer to the waistband and refuses to move.
This goes on for a while. Everyone has a good laugh about it. All the obvious perverted jokes are made that one can make about a guy having a lizard in his pants. Finally, I feel a wiggle and I can't find it anymore. I pat myself down quite thoroughly and cannot find it. It must have dropped out.
So it seems that amusing episode is over with. We play in the water for a while longer and swim back across to the beach to get on with out canoe trip. We have 8 people in our group, including our two kids, so it takes a while to get going. It's like 20 minutes later after we've been paddling in the canoe again for a few minutes, when I adjust my shorts to alleviate a wedge (those swimming trunk linings can be really annoying)... and I feel a wiggle...
The lizard is still in my shorts!
How in the hell it has avoided getting crushed or drowned or suffocated under the fabric is beyond me, but he's alive and well and still clinging to my butt getting very nearly sat on. There's no way I can deal with this in the canoe, and we're uneasy about making the deadline for final landing. So I coax him around to the front and just keep going.
I ended up having a lizard in my shorts for something like 3 hours today. Definitely a new experience for me.
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Topic: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O (Read 14980237 times)