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Author Topic: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O  (Read 14513199 times)

Eric Blank

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #75015 on: April 25, 2015, 06:13:54 pm »

You better save up a fuckload before you croak, or all you're getting is a cheap slab like the rest of us.
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Teneb

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #75016 on: April 25, 2015, 06:55:18 pm »

You better save up a fuckload before you croak, or all you're getting is a cheap slab like the rest of us.
It's times like these that I am glad my family has an actual crypt (that still has free space). Which is often a source of WTF for me.
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Frumple

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #75017 on: April 25, 2015, 06:59:59 pm »

Honestly, if you forgo a funeral and just have yourself encased in steel and shoved into a relative's house, it'd probably cost less. Metal really isn't all that expensive. Shit, looking at it, steel is running something like ~400 euros to the ton (note: A goddamn casket will likely run you something like 2k USD on the low end, checking it). I can guarantee you most funerals cost more than 400 euros, and you don't need a ton of steel to enshrine your corpse in refined ferrous glory.

Go cheap. Go amazing. Plate your rotting corpse in sheet iron.
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Putnam

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #75018 on: April 25, 2015, 07:04:05 pm »

Someone "gilded" me on Reddit, for one of the most inconsequential, silly comments I can remember making.
I was bewildered when I saw the message announcing it (along with a slew of other replies), since I couldn't remember making any gold-worthy comments recently. In fact, at first when I saw the number next to my inbox I assumed I'd pissed someone off and spurred an angry mob. Oh well, I shan't complain. :P

Yeah, my first gilding was for literally quoting chaucer at someone:

Quote
People my age are idiots [for using the word "thot"].
Ye knowe eek that in forme of speche is chaunge
With-inne a thousand yeer, and wordes tho
That hadden prys, now wonder nyce and straunge
Us thinketh hem, and yet thei spake hem so.

My second was:

I wrote [the force script].
The short answer: It don't work no more and I have no idea how I could make it work. Armies are weird.
The long answer: ARMIES ARE WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIRD

Eric Blank

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #75019 on: April 25, 2015, 08:15:54 pm »

Honestly, if you forgo a funeral and just have yourself encased in steel and shoved into a relative's house, it'd probably cost less. Metal really isn't all that expensive. Shit, looking at it, steel is running something like ~400 euros to the ton (note: A goddamn casket will likely run you something like 2k USD on the low end, checking it). I can guarantee you most funerals cost more than 400 euros, and you don't need a ton of steel to enshrine your corpse in refined ferrous glory.

Go cheap. Go amazing. Plate your rotting corpse in sheet iron.

Only problem is whether or not you'd even be able to get away with that, legally. Sure as hell won't be allowed to set up your hermetically sealed iron sarcophogas in a house. Probably wouldn't be allowed to have an iron sarcophagus at all.
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Yoink

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #75020 on: April 25, 2015, 08:22:11 pm »

Well, when I'm old and near death, I'll have to move to a less oppressive country with looser laws on such things.
This idea is probably even cooler than my old idea of having myself embalmed/preserved (possibly through plastination?) in a realistic fashion, and including in my will a wish for my surviving family to fly my corpse around the world, posing it in exotic locations and posting photos of it to my Facebook page, or else lose their share of inheritance.

I need to become a rich fuck so I can do this sort of thing when I'm an old fuck.
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Frumple

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #75021 on: April 25, 2015, 08:31:09 pm »

Funerals are freaking expensive, man. You can probably afford to fly off wherever and die there, then have the rest of it taken care of on site and still save (your relatives) money. Maybe bring yourself along some concrete, have a little monument set up before the people taking care of it head off. Can be someone else's problem regarding what to do with a steel coffin embedded in stone out in the countryside.

As for the legal thing. I'm not saying it would probably still be cheaper to bribe some folks to do it on the side, but...

... well, I'm pretty sure there's folks out there that would take a couple hundred from you to stick your body in an iron sarcophagus and weld it shut. And that'd still be a lot less expensive than the funeral services, to all appearances.

Also good gods, looking at some of the laws surrounding this those funeral folks really have made a faintly disgusting degree of legislated monetary killing, haven't they? I'd ask how the hell they've gotten away with it, but it's actually kinda' self evident (no one wants to talk about the subject), so eh.
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Orange Wizard

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #75022 on: April 25, 2015, 08:38:57 pm »

I've never cared what happens to my corpse after I die. Would be nice if it could do something useful, like proving organs to people. But in any case, I'm dead... I don't think it's going to matter to me a great deal.
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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #75023 on: April 25, 2015, 08:42:04 pm »

I think the reason funeral services are expensive is because locally speaking they don't tend to get much customs, and the demographics that actually have a high death rate can't afford funeral service.
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Frumple

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #75024 on: April 25, 2015, 08:53:21 pm »

No... looking at it, it's mostly because the funeral homes are price gouging like goddamn. Goddamn goddamn. This is italics and bold level cost hikes going on here. And at a cursory glance it looks like a lot of it's being handed to them by legal regulations, with a fair amount of the rest being frankly predatory behavior on the part of the funeral services. Knew there was some kinda' shifty stuff going on there, but I hadn't quite realized the extent of it...
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Lightningfalcon

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #75025 on: April 25, 2015, 08:58:35 pm »

Just burn your body.  Not sure how much it costs for an adult, but for large dogs its like 135$.  And large dogs aren't ll that much smaller then the average human being.
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Yoink

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #75026 on: April 25, 2015, 09:02:05 pm »

Just burn your body.  Not sure how much it costs for an adult, but for large dogs its like 135$.  And large dogs aren't ll that much smaller then the average human being.
But dude, that's boring. And besides, what if crazy magic shit happens and the dead start rising? I don't want to be left out.
Besides, having my corpse turned into a statue and put on display someplace sounds awesome.
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Bohandas

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #75027 on: April 25, 2015, 09:04:36 pm »


This idea is probably even cooler than my old idea of having myself embalmed/preserved (possibly through plastination?) in a realistic fashion,

I'd like to be plastinated and put on display as a statue of myself.
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EnigmaticHat

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #75028 on: April 25, 2015, 09:11:43 pm »

Just burn your body.  Not sure how much it costs for an adult, but for large dogs its like 135$.  And large dogs aren't ll that much smaller then the average human being.
But dude, that's boring. And besides, what if crazy magic shit happens and the dead start rising? I don't want to be left out.
Besides, having my corpse turned into a statue and put on display someplace sounds awesome.
Its not boring.  My best friend told me she wants to have her corpse stolen, cremated, and then her ashes baked into food for her enemies.
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Yoink

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #75029 on: April 25, 2015, 09:14:02 pm »


This idea is probably even cooler than my old idea of having myself embalmed/preserved (possibly through plastination?) in a realistic fashion,

I'd like to be plastinated and put on display as a statue of myself.
I googled plastination a while ago and I was disappointed to see the specimens weren't as 'lifelike' as I'd imagined.
All the examples I can find just preserve the muscular and skeletal structure while leaving out flesh and skin. So yeah, I'm starting to think maybe being encased in molten metal would actually be a cooler funeral arrangement.
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