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[KingofstarrySkies]

I did that once.

The horror, it was delicious

[Frumple]

Lack of fresh air causes terrible headaches for me, as I've recently noticed.

... that sounds less like it has anything to do with fresh air and more like it has to do with terrible indoor air quality, or something along those lines. Could have mold or somethin'.

[Tawa]

So, I calculated how much of a Jump bonus Mario would need to jump as obscenely high as he can if he were a D&D character.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

First, I heard that in the first game, he could jump 27 feet up. This means our target DC is 108. We can assume that since it is difficult to get Mario to jump as high as possible, he takes a 20 to reach 27 feet.

DC REMAINING: 88

Second: Best case scenario is that Mario is a level 30 Monk with (via ability score increases) 26 STR. This gives him an innate +6 to Jump.

DC REMAINING: 82

We can assume that Mario funneled every skillpoint he could into Jump for a total of 33 and put at least 5 into Tumble for the synergy bonus.

DC REMAINING: 47

Monks get a +100, if memory serves, speed boost at level 30. Every 10 extra feet someone moves gets them +4 due to a running start, so Mario has a total of +40 to his check.

DC REMAINING: 7

Almost there!

We can assume that Mario's hat is a +6 Hat of Strength, based on the usual +6 items.

DC REMAINING: 1

Oooh. So close!

Mario just needs a pick-me-up. The random timer for the levels in the original is a good idea. If we assume that the timer is actually a measure of how long a casting of Bull's Strength is working on Mario (and that he needs the spell to live or something), then for the duration of the level, Mario has +2 STR, bringing the STR modifier up to +7.

DC REMAINING: 0

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

TOTAL JUMP MOD: 88

tl;dr: I proved that if you min/max a Monk out the wazoo, you can jump 27 fucking feet straight into the air.

Wut.

[Gentlefish]

You're also walking 11.3636 miles an hour. Walking.

Running with the Run feat, which nets you even more jumping goodness, this lvl 30 Monk-Mario is clocking in at 55 miles an hour.

[Orange Wizard]

What about an Improved Ring of Jumping? That's an extra +10, so you're getting to 27 feet 50% of the time instead of 5%.

[Frumple]

... yeah, I was about to say, "Why not just have someone hit him with Jump?" If he's got a caster buddy that can hit caster level 9 (Peach, I guess, or maybe a shanghai'd magikoopa), that's an extra +30 bonus.

Also feats. Skill focus, acrobatics, etc.

[Gentlefish]

And I think Mario's a Goliath because he can hit his high jump while standing perfectly still.

[Flying Dice]

What I want to know is how he's getting those crazy damage rolls for landing on things.

[Frumple]

... maybe everything he's fighting are those 4th edition mook critters? Except for the bosses, I guess, but even those are pretty flimsy...

[Gentlefish]

Obviously this homebrew mess of a game gives him improved natural attack (jump landing) which boots the damage dice from a d6/10 feet up to 2d10/10 feet.

[Orange Wizard]

Maybe he uses Mountain Hammer (or whatever it's called, something like that) from the Book of Nine Swords with his feet?

[Gentlefish]

Probably something like Elder Mountain Hammer, more damage, same ignores DC & Hardness.

((I love that book BTW so much cheese for my pizza))

[Tawa]

Oh yeah, original plan had Acrobatics, but I lost that when I rewrote that.

I should probably attempt this stuff when I'm fully awake.

NEXT TIME: CALCULATING GANON'S WIZARD LEVEL

[Gentlefish]

Yep making that D&D general thread for this stuff.

E: It's up now.

[Xantalos]

D'you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to translate binary into binary?