Shoplifters: Watching the Videos~
"Hello sportsfans and welcome once again to the Wal-Mart Shoplifting invitational. Today we have Bob competing yet again. For those of you unfamiliar with Bob the Legend he has a MER, that's magistrate explosion rate of 24. Impressive! And, over half of those are juvenile court.
And now on to the main event, we all know Bob has no ability and certainly no willingness to pay for anything, despite being completely able bodied. Bob is strolling by the electronics department, but it appears everything he wants there has been placed in a protective case.
And now it seems Bob is moving on to housewares and snackfood. He might be ... he could be... yes, he is shoving merchandise down the front and sides of his pants with no intention of paying for it. What a pro.
Well it appears Bob has what he wants and is probably going to ... what's this ...? It seems Bob has taken a detour to the Snackwell's Devil's Food Cake Cookie TM sample table.....
He has the cookie on the toothpick, thanks the store employee and walks away. Classy!
It seems Bob has decided to make his way to the exit now. The question on everybody's mind is, "Will Bob get away with it yet again."
Bob seems confident, he's strolling right through that anti shoplifting device NO! Wait, O no. Ladies and gentlemen, the device is beeping! Bob seems panicked, the security guard is stretching and yawning awake....
I'm not sure he can ... Wow! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a runner!
And the security guard is hot on Bob's heels. Bob appears to fall, but beautifully recovers.
He trips! Bob trips in the parking lot! I repeat we have a Bob down, We have Bob down! Bob down! O no, ladies and gentlemen, it appears all of the stolen items Bob shoved down the front of his pants, which probably tripped him in the first place are now squished.....
The security guard is laughing too hard to help him. Bob could probably get away just from that if he could get up, but no....
But finally it appears Bob is being "helped" back into the store security office to watch the instant replay from three different camera angles....
[throws hands up in the air after watching video tape].
You're going to jail Bob....