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[Loud Whispers]

A friend sent it to me. I have no clue where she got it from.

It's a mutation of an original copypasta about an angel statue. Amazing mutation.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

A friend sent it to me. I have no clue where she got it from.

It's a mutation of an original copypasta about an angel statue. Amazing mutation.

Clown statue.

[penguinofhonor]

Well yeah, I know about the original. I just don't know where the parody originated.

[Pnx]

So my mother forgot my birthday yesterday, this is not something that would typically bother me at all, especially since she's been a bit emotional recently on account of a friend of hers dying. All the stuff she's been doing to try to compensate, however, has been a bit overboard.

First she comes up to me at about midnight when I'm about to go to bed, and proclaims that she just realised she forgot my birthday. She then spends about an hour talking with me trying to force me to concede to various things she has to do to make up for it, like she was insisting she should send my brother out to get a cake for me right then, in the middle of the night, but then she came to the decision she should wait until the confectionery was open so she could go get a proper cake today.

Today she came back with:
One (1), large double chocolate cake.
Two (2), eclairs.
Two (2), bomb cakes, one a boston cream bomb, the other apparently being the same thing but with chocolate.
One (1), slice of "death by chocolate" cake.
One (1), box of iced chocolate brownies.

And probably some other stuff I don't know about.

In addition she's insisting she cook me something special tonight, and that we go out eating tomorrow (I managed to convince her to just go with a cheese omelet tonight, and that we can just have chinese takeaway tomorrow)...

I think I'm going to die from all the chocolate and cholesterol she's insisting on feeding me.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Nothing you can do. She won't stop until she perceives herself as having appeased you, and regardless of what you say any attempt to hinder that will be perceived as you being upset about her forgetting and only encourage her.

[GlyphGryph]

Be super excited about every single individual item, and then try to look as content as possible afterwards.

Alternatively, initiate strife to refuse additional baked goods, and then abscond.

[Pnx]

Well I don't typically get enthusiastic about this sort of stuff, so right now I'm just smiling politely and thanking her for it all.

The thing that really bothers me is that she's ordinarily nowhere near this nice to me. I'm pretty sure she's acting like this purely because she's depressed about her old friend dying.

[Neonivek]

I just kinda realised something

The vast majority of wizards in fiction are noncombatants who learn combat spells, the vast majority of their spells will be for killing people.

Why!?!

It is like me going to school to learn how to use a gun when I never want to own or shoot one.

[Devling]

I just kinda realised something

The vast majority of wizards in fiction are noncombatants who learn combat spells.

Why!?!

It is like me going to school to learn how to use a gun when I never want to own or shoot one.

Well... You can either learn how to see shit from far away, or you can learn to shoot Bio-Electricity.

[Neonivek]

But why would you go through all that effort just to fry people if you arn't planning to fry anyone?

I mean magic can do other things... Why is the Fireball and Lightning and Make their eyes pop out and explode their brains spells so attractive but the "Improve soil quality" spell so despised?

[Karnewarrior]

I just kinda realised something

The vast majority of wizards in fiction are noncombatants who learn combat spells.

Why!?!

It is like me going to school to learn how to use a gun when I never want to own or shoot one.

Yeah, although I guess the basic spells could have a use. I imagine that when you want to light your stove just being able to cast Firebolt would be neat, or if you want to power a machine use some Lightning. Icebolt could cool a room... Uhh... Wind if you're onboard a ship. Telekinesis.

It's really only the destructive ones that make you wonder. Firebolt is useful because it doesn't explode. Fireball is a completely different story.

[Neonivek]

Well clearly Fireball is for fireworks displays.

[MagmaMcFry]

Well, if magic worked by consciously manipulating force fields, then the easiest three spells would probably be Levitate (w/ variants), Heat Ball, and Radiation Sickness.

[The Darkling Wolf]

But why would you go through all that effort just to fry people if you arn't planning to fry anyone?

I mean magic can do other things... Why is the Fireball and Lightning and Make their eyes pop out and explode their brains spells so attractive but the "Improve soil quality" spell so despised?

Because then they can pontificate about having power and not using it, and how conflict breeds only conflict. You can't get away with that shit if you're not capable of blowing a guy up with your left nostril.

[Hanslanda]

But why would you go through all that effort just to fry people if you arn't planning to fry anyone?

I mean magic can do other things... Why is the Fireball and Lightning and Make their eyes pop out and explode their brains spells so attractive but the "Improve soil quality" spell so despised?

Because then they can pontificate about having power and not using it, and how conflict breeds only conflict. You can't get away with that shit if you're not capable of blowing a guy up with your left nostril.

It's fiction. In reality, the most widely used magics would be 'Improve soil quality' and 'Create Food and Drink', 'Wall of Salt/Wall of Iron', 'Wish (For advances in Medical Care/Cure for Cancer/Cure for Disease period/etc)'
I'm not saying that magic wouldn't be used for war, which is is so very definitely suited for, but there would be a VAST amount of noncombat spells cast for every single 'Fireball' or Lightning Bolt' cast.