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[Dutchling]

I for one look like Mikey from American Choppers as well as a football player at one of the local community colleges. Most people just think I look like Mikey though, even if one time one of the football players at [REDACTED] college told me that the coach wanted to speak with me. That lead to one awkward conversation outside of a hot dog stand and the embarassment of said football player.

I've been compared to that boy from Home Alone. The young one, not the crackhead he looks like now

[RedKing]

I'm somewhere between Dave Grohl and Steve Buscemi in terms of looks. There are worse fates.


EDIT: So last night, I thought I'd build a fire for the kids to enjoy since it was so cold. Went out to the woodpile, which is covered with a tarp. Lifted up one side, no split wood. Damn.
Lifted up the other side, something jumps out, races through the leaves, and begins scurrying up the nearest tree.

"Huh...squirrel." I think to myself. Then, once it's about 30-40 feet up, it sort of explodes into a big gray patch against the night sky, flies in a circle around the tree a few times, and then vanishes.

 

DA FUQ??? Bat? Giant flying squirrel? Scurrying ground owl? Chupacabra??

After that, I peeled back the tarp entirely and found a very well-built nest in the middle of the woodpile, about a foot across with a 4-5" depression in the middle. Very clean, no indications of what the hell was living there.

[Descan]

Oh, it's dei.

[Skold]

Oh, it's dei.

It says so in my signature. As I said I somehow messed up my previous account with a password I couldn't remember and a security question that required an answer that was essentially a randomly generated string of letters and numbers that I didn't have available to reference anymore. I'm still not certain how I managed to do such a thing.

[RedKing]

....my first though was that Descan was insinuating that dei/Skold was living in my woodpile. How silly of me.

>_>

<_<

You're not, right?

[Skold]

....my first though was that Descan was insinuating that dei/Skold was living in my woodpile. How silly of me.

>_>

<_<

You're not, right?

If I was your woodpile would have become a collection of birdhouses by now.

[RedKing]

....my first though was that Descan was insinuating that dei/Skold was living in my woodpile. How silly of me.

>_>

<_<

You're not, right?

If I was your woodpile would have become a collection of birdhouses by now.

...so you're a bird? 

[Dutchling]

Do not click if you don't want all of your childhood dreams shattered.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Birds don't build birdhouses, RedKing.

[RedKing]

Oh my god. Y-you mean....

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

they subcontract to carpenter bees? 

[Karnewarrior]

Oh my god. Y-you mean....

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

they subcontract to carpenter bees? 

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Carpenter Ants.

You racist monster.

[Hanslanda]

And, I like big butts and I cannot lie.

You know what's funny about this? This guy almost killed people with fraudulent medical practices, and his bond is $15,000. I smoke pot, and my bond was $25,000. Thread title applies.

[RedKing]

And, I like big butts and I cannot lie.

You know what's funny about this? This guy almost killed people with fraudulent medical practices, and his bond is $15,000. I smoke pot, and my bond was $25,000. Thread title applies.

Moral: Inject bad butts instead of smoking fat blunts.

[Euld]

I"m confused... so he was injecting them with silicon, when he was supposed to be using silicone?

[RedKing]

I think that's a typo in the HuffPo article. This isn't the first time I've heard of something like this. There was a woman busted for the same thing in the last year too. Problem is that they're using stuff like silicone bath caulk. And the fact that real silicone implants are sealed in impermeable polymer so that your body can't absorb the silicone. Because bad shit happens when that happens. I think they're conflating two ideas: silicone implants and the old technique of liposuctioning out body fat in one location and precision injecting it into another.

Injecting silicone is just a really, really dumb idea.

Also, Krazy Glue is not a terribly good surgical staple.

[Descan]

I have heard of gluing wounds shut, though. I'm assuming if it is an actual thing, they use a more specialised adhesive, right?