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[Jerick]

I was cooking with some a set of my families pots this evening when it occoured to me;
For as long as I can remember we've always had them and yet they still look brand new.
I idely asked my father about them and he informed me that they are over thirty six years old and reminded me how many times we've charred and charmalised stuff in those pots, how many times we tried to cook Christmas pudding in them only to have them go unattended and the plastic bowls we had the puddings in melt and solidify, how they spent several months outside in an overgrown wildlife infested garden, how we've moved four times at least since we got them, how they've been repeatedly been abused, kicked, thrown and sterilised with harsh chemicals.
I remember these pots, I remember what I did to them as a child, I remember learning to cook with these pots and making many stupid damaging mistakes with them so why?
Why do they always shine like they've been taken out of the box for the first time?
The bottom of the pots aren't even scratched!
There's never a single mark on them!

[The Darkling Wolf]

Darcke Magicke. Darcke indeed, you do not question the pots, for...
nae, I cannot tell ye the secret of the pots, t'would bring about your destruction as surely as the last...
aye.

[Facekillz058]

I just held a lighter in it's lit state until the metal on it started melting.
Surprised, to say the least.

I promptly ended up singing the pokémon theme song.

[MaximumZero]

I was cooking with some a set of my families pots this evening when it occoured to me;
For as long as I can remember we've always had them and yet they still look brand new.
I idely asked my father about them and he informed me that they are over thirty six years old and reminded me how many times we've charred and charmalised stuff in those pots, how many times we tried to cook Christmas pudding in them only to have them go unattended and the plastic bowls we had the puddings in melt and solidify, how they spent several months outside in an overgrown wildlife infested garden, how we've moved four times at least since we got them, how they've been repeatedly been abused, kicked, thrown and sterilised with harsh chemicals.
I remember these pots, I remember what I did to them as a child, I remember learning to cook with these pots and making many stupid damaging mistakes with them so why?
Why do they always shine like they've been taken out of the box for the first time?
The bottom of the pots aren't even scratched!
There's never a single mark on them!

What kind of markings are on the bottoms of those? I want to buy some...for ‼SCIENCE‼

[RedWarrior0]

They're probably made with virgin sacrifices. Plural, judging from Darkling Wolf's comment.

[Flying Dice]

They're relics from the Dark Age of Technology.

[Sirus]

Okay, this overheard conversation freaked me out, but I'm not sure if it's genuinely "WTF" or just me being judgmental/insensitive.

Spoiler: Possibly NSFW (click to show/hide)

So I'm waiting for the logic teacher to show up (he's almost always a minute or two late). A small group of classmates is chatting nearby. These are the brains who, on previous occasions, have said that homosexuals are "gross" and have made more than a few sexist remarks.

Anyway, somehow or another their conversation turns to gore websites, which apparently are places where videos of gruesome accidents, terrorist beheadings, and other nasty stuff is collected. One guy says he goes out of his way to look for this stuff, claiming that he did a report on serial killers and has since been fascinated by it.

This is when another guy, who says that he randomly stumbles across the stuff, mentions a moment where a porn video linked to a gore video. _{I cringe to type this next sentence.} He claims that he switched videos and got a (his words) raging boner.

Thankfully, the teacher showed up at that point and I was spared any more gore-fetish discussion.

[Sirus]

Goddamn 504s.

[Xantalos]

...
Perhaps a little fetishistic in a socially malign way, that one is, yes?

[Frumple]

Maybe. Vaguely remember something about physiological reactions to certain stress situations ('Zerkergangers running around at full mast, ferex) that makes that sort of thing... well... damn, wording fails me. Normal isn't quite the right word, but... understandable? Explicable within a fairly normative range of psychology? S'not necessarily what's going on, o'course, but I think it's not an impossibility, or even particularly statistically unusual. Definitely not socionormative, but a lot a physiologically normal shit isn't so whatev' to that.

[The Darkling Wolf]

They're relics from the Dark Age of Technology.

Darcke.
Technologie.

[RedKing]

Putin's bringing back the Cossacks.

President Vladimir Putin was inducted into what is known as the Cossack host in 2005 and given the rank of Cossack colonel, previously held by imperial czars.

Russia plans to restore the functions Cossacks had in the imperial Russian army, where they were instrumental in repelling Napoleon's invading army in 1812 and led pogroms against Jews. A 400,000-strong All-Russia Cossack Host directly subordinate to Putin is scheduled to be launched by the end of the year.

Any bets on how long until Putin just drops all pretenses and declares himself Tsar Vladimir I?

[pisskop]

2021.  honestly.  Russia is making strides towards attempting to establishing itself as a world power (again), imho.  As an American, I'm more afraid of them than this middle east bit, and respect the ambition.

[RedKing]

And on the day Vladimir was supposed to give out a speech of returning Russia to its former glory by becoming Tsar, he was shot, and tragically killed by... *cough* unknown assailants.

And then he stood up and peeled away his fleshy disguise, revealing his true form of MECHA-PUTIN.

[Nadaka]

But does he possess the scepter of Stalin and have the ability to control the energy of decay in an epic supernatural smack-down against Hitlers sorcery?