Had a somewhat curious interaction last night... Was out with a few friends, everyone sitting around a table in the middle of the pub.
The gals I'd gone out with have a tendency to go for slightly racier/flashier outfits that show a fair deal of skin, because they like playing dress-up and feel safe in that bar what with knowing all the bartenders/bouncers and such. Unfortunately, this choice of clothing does occasionally attract some odd sorts when we're out on the town, and such was the case this time around too.
A British gentleman in a baseball cap was out with a friend of his, and overheard us speaking in English... At which point he latched onto the one friend and just started yammering on and on. Said friend really doesn't like confrontations and had had a bit to drink by that point, so she was just kind of timidly sitting there while this dork kept trying to talk himself up and only managing to be a boorish, sexist twatknuckle. Absolutely was not taking any of the hints that she didn't want to be part of this conversation. My other, considerably less battle-shy friend, eventually piped up and told him to kindly fuck off and leave the both of them alone, but he wasn't taking that hint either.
After this had been going on for a while and he was showing absolutely no signs of leaving, I stood up and walked over to the chap. Standing a good head taller than him, I just leaned my arm on his shoulder and said hi with one of my most charming smiles.
"Uh... Hello.", then to my friend: "Is he your friend? (Yes) Is he your bodyguard? (No)", back to me: "So what the fuck do you want?"
"I'm just wondering if you may have overstayed your welcome."
He apologizes and leaves for the bar in a hurry. I go back to my seat, and haven't even sat down yet before he's back to talking the ear off my friend, apparently one of those "long goodbyes" kind of folks. I wait and see if he's going to try sticking around, but now the rest of the table is getting in on telling this guy to piss off, so he eventually retreats back to the bar... Where he starts loudly whining to his friend about "This big scary fuck sat over there". We get a moment of peace.
Then my friend goes outside for a smoke break, and as soon as she's outside he comes back to now lean over the other friend (who'd told him to fuck off earlier) and say a few words to me/us. Talking about oh, he'd been working there for a year, and this was his one day off in a year and he needed to go out and unwind and he's English so they do things differently from Norwegians and if he'd overstepped any boundaries he was very sorry...
"...but I don't need some pussy coming over and touching me! Completely unnecessary for this pussy to go and physically touch my person!"
I just start grinning at this galaxy-brained individual (who had been pawing my friends the whole time he was chatting them up), and he packs his closing statement up and goes back to probably tell his friend how much he was getting bullied again. However, by this point the bar manager (who just happened to be sitting at our table) has had well enough of these two so she calls the bouncer over to encourage them to leave. So of course the guy now has to try and start arguing with the security that he should be allowed to stay... Which was about as successful as one would expect.
After they were (finally, finally) convinced to go, the bouncer (who is another friend of mine, because apparently we know everyone working at the pubs in this town) came over to me and said "I fucking love you man" and gave me a hug. He'd apparently been tickled pink by my interaction with the fellow.
Oh yeah, and apparently the annoying guy's parting comment to the bouncer was that he was going to come back some other time "with backup". Because that's definitely how you endear yourself to the staff.