Ok then.
Our favorite Klepto was busy being a klepto all night long. Due to a labor shortage on 3rd shift, I was in charge of ~30 residents, and it was just me and the charge nurse in the long term care wing.
In addition to our gentleman having the loud argument with himself, another confused resident had decided to alter his normal "I cannot possibly pee enough times in one night!" behaviors, with a "I will pee into my 4 wheel walker like it was a urinal!" twist. I changed his bed and sheets once, the soaker pads twice, and cleaned his floor 3 times. All the while Klepto-Wanderer kept trying to follow me into rooms.
At several times in the night, another resident, who likes to scream out that they need help over and over again instead of using their call light, decided that they needed to do this while I was doing rounds repeatedly, just to get me into their room. Again, with Klepto underfoot taking things and trying to follow me into rooms.
Basically, if it was a behavior, it was happening. One resident awoke from a dead sleep shrieking that she needed her purse, for instance. Another decided that she absolutely must have her TED hose on and be dressed at 0330. And of course, "I MUST PEE NOW!" resident was setting off his motion alarm, indicating to me that he was up and violating the floor I had just cleaned, while I was trapped in rooms at rounds. Repeatedly.
As per usual, Klepto-resident was trying to steal my lunch out of my hands while I was eating it, and tried repeatedly to steal my mouse and work-issued cellphone while I was trying to chart--OUT OF MY HANDS, WHile I was actively using them.
At some point, Klepto-resident snuck into another resident's room and turned on their bathroom faucet full blast. (This resident is a major attention seeker, and after nearly flooding their own bathroom several times this week, we deactivated the water to the sink in their bathroom. This has prompted them to seek sinks in other rooms.)
List of Items stolen tonight:
Two stuffed scarecrow decorations from the living area
1 bottle of liquid drink thickener from the dining area
A teddy bear (Unknown room broken into)
A ceramic ladybug decoration (Unknown room broken into)
My computer mouse. (1x times)
Items that multiple attempts at theft were made for:
My computer mouse (+10x times, 8x times while I was actively using it.)
My lunch (9x times, while I was eating it. I have gotten quite good at being an artful dodger)
Desk stapler (3x times)
Tape dispenser (2x times)
My car keys (I take them out of my pocket at the desk, because scrub pants are just horrible, and I dont want them to fall out in a resident's room) (5x times)
Laptop bag (3x times)
I am now eating a McDonald's Big breakfast with hotcakes, with extra hashbrowns, and some sausage breakfast burritos. WHile just as bad for me, if not worse, than getting sauced after work-- It at least does not cause intoxication, so I am not a threat to others.
I need to drive into the major metro area so I can get an employer mandated flu vaccination at a Walgreens when they open. Currently 7:30AM.
Some back-history:
Klepto Resident is a consummate attention seeker. Frequently violates the nurse's station, which is just outside their room. (They were placed in that room to help assure their safety, due to the severity of their wandering) They are notorious for taking pretty much anything that is not nailed down in the nurse's station, and taking such stolen property to their room. They are shameless about this, and will even attempt to get staff members to assist with such pilfering if they are prevented from taking things. Like literally turning to a different staff member and saying "Get that for me", while you are trying to explain to them that they cannot have the thing they are trying so very hard to steal.