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[wierd]

Why is it legal for people to have small, noisy children in public spaces like on trains and in waiting rooms?
Talk about bloody unfit parents. Give the poor little blighters to the State.

Because if the only fit parents are people who can afford never to enter public spaces, every child will be Donald Trump.

Don't be so extreme!  I am sure that if we just relaxed certain rules where CPS gets involved, we could solve this problem quite neatly, and without resorting to A Modest Proposal even!  Such as, operant conditioning!  People have used a form of this for thousands of years to control their willful children, and a small implanted electrode is far less likely to cause physical harm than old fashioned corporal punishment.

I say, when every child turns 2, we implant the electrode array with a glucose driven fuel cell and a keyed NFC antenna. Then, whenever the child misbehaves, they get the lecture, THEN they get the shocks.  Easy peasy!  That way, when they turn 3, they are well trained for going out in public!

[Yoink]

Interesting ideas, Wierd, but I think it would be less harmful to the child to simply restrict them (only children that behave poorly, of course) to controlled environments ever their poor behaviour doesn't affect anyone but those who begat them.
I might respond to this in more detail later, but for now I have a new, entirely unrelated WTF:

Apparently the Hard-Ons are touring with Rose Tattoo in the near future. I don't particularly like other band (some RT songs are okay I guess) but I know just enough about them for this to come as a surprise.

[Trekkin]

I say, when every child turns 2, we implant the electrode array with a glucose driven fuel cell and a keyed NFC antenna. Then, whenever the child misbehaves, they get the lecture, THEN they get the shocks.  Easy peasy!  That way, when they turn 3, they are well trained for going out in public!

If we have the money to build a nanostructured platinum/SWCNT fuel cell for every toddler in the country and subsequently implant it, we could probably just pay for daycare and save on malpractice suits.

Or, you know, cattle prods.

[Tack]

But how will the child learn that it isn't okay to be loud in public spaces unless they're in public spaces looking at how not-loud all of the grown-ups are?

Also, shock chips are a great idea if you're trying to instil discipline, but the same method could be used against swearing, or complaining about the government, or mentioning that you want to get your chip removed.

[wierd]

Economies of scale!

Also, think of the benefits!

1) Children will learn that high sugar content is their enemy, because high blood glucose charges the shock system more efficiently. This will greatly assist with combating juvenile obesity! WIN!

2) The implanted array needs significantly less electrical power to deliver the shock because it is beneath the subcutaneous fat layer, and has much lower resistance it needs to overcome to do its job.  This is not only more environmentally conscious, it also is less likely to cause burns, which is what those child coddling CPS idiots are all about really.

3) You can control your child with a smartphone!

4) Things like the Kent State tragedy could be prevented entirely, as campus security could simply activate the shock systems to suppress the little upstarts!

Really, It really is the better option.

[Egan_BW]

Solution: replace humanity with machines. Infant AIs will still be annoying, sure, but they can get through that stage at an accelerated rate using only the internet.

[Trekkin]

Solution: replace humanity with machines. Infant AIs will still be annoying, sure, but they can get through that stage at an accelerated rate using only the internet.

You remember what happened to Tay when it was given Internet access, right?

[wierd]

Solution: replace humanity with machines. Infant AIs will still be annoying, sure, but they can get through that stage at an accelerated rate using only the internet.

You remember what happened to Tay when it was given Internet access, right?

Yup, and that is why Ray Kurzweil is a moron for thinking the singularity AI will help humanity.

[Egan_BW]

Solution: replace humanity with machines. Infant AIs will still be annoying, sure, but they can get through that stage at an accelerated rate using only the internet.

You remember what happened to Tay when it was given Internet access, right?

It's not her fault that her handlers murdered her before maturity.

[Greiger]

I propose the dwarven solution.  Drop them into a 1 tile deep pit with half a dozen dogs for 5 years.  When they emerge they will be strong enough to not need anything but their two hands and won't be crying about how they want that kit kat bar on the shelf anymore.

(Side effects may include taking the kit kat bar without asking and simply suplexing you into a table if you try to take it from them)

[Eric Blank]

I fully support the electrotherapy option.

Or, you know, permit parents to discipline their kids.

[Yoink]

Or, you know, permit parents to discipline their kids.

For real!!
A clip round the ear would do a troublesome child with no sense of right or wrong a world of good. Popular ideas of child raising these days are just ridiculous.
TF you gonna do if I knock your favourite mug off the counter, hit Fido with a stick and scream incessantly at the supermarket? Blog about it? Pfffft.   

But how will the child learn that it isn't okay to be loud in public spaces unless they're in public spaces looking at how not-loud all of the grown-ups are?

Uhhh. It doesn't really work that way without some parental input.
The "unfit parents" I'm talking about generally don't even bother telling their brats to STFU when they're screeching away.

Honestly, a combination of allowing parents to discipline their kids and revamping/subsidising the child-care industry so that it's less of a luxury would probably the best way to end this problem and improve the childhoods of countless kiddies across the nation/planet.

But first we have to do away with the weird taboo about calling out bad parents. I guess we all have to do our part, there.

[ChairmanPoo]

I think you should be able to sell your children into slavery. It would provide a deterrent for bad behavior, help low skill industries, and provide a way out for poor income families with surplus offspring.

[EnigmaticHat]

Can't have upward social mobility without downward social mobility.

[Kagus]

I think you should be able to sell your children into slavery. It would provide a deterrent for bad behavior, help low skill industries, and provide a way out for poor income families with surplus offspring.

But that would also provide an incentive for low-income families to produce considerably more children than they'd ever be able to support, resulting in overpopulation and strain on resources.


Anyways, corporal punishment of kids doesn't even work all that well... It's very much the norm in India, and the kids would happily chatter about how their parents or teachers would grab the nearest solid object and start laying into them if they ever found out about what the kids were doing. They didn't stop doing those things, they just figured that the pleasure from doing the thing outweighed whatever harm the authorities could inflict on them, because they'd gotten so used to beatings that it didn't mean anything anymore. "This isn't even my final form" kinda bullshit.

I remember watching one of the neighbors out on their balcony smashing away at one of their kids with a glass bottle, and the kid was just laughing at it. That's what you get in a society where you earn a rap across the fingers with a bamboo pole if you answer a question incorrectly in school.

As for long-term behavioral improvement... Ever met one of those old people who gripes about how "In my day, kids were whipped with switches to make them behave!", and how since people stopped doing that everything went to shit?  You know how whiny and irritating those people are?

Don't beat your children, folks... They'll grow up into aggressively obnoxious old people.