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Author Topic: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O  (Read 14949827 times)

Akura

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #129135 on: December 02, 2017, 06:09:59 pm »

Parents are watching Ancient Aliens again. Tonight's Verified Scientific Facts™: The reason that we write superhero stories about characters such as Wonder Woman and Spiderman, who have alter-egos that blend in with normal humans is that all humans have genetic memories of having super powers in our DNA but thanks to the actions of Aliens!, it's been made dormant. Now we must find technology that will let us read our DNA and let it tell us what it means to be alive!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)


I swear, both of them must have some condition where they believe literally everything that appears on TV. That would explain a lot.
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Tawa

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #129136 on: December 02, 2017, 06:24:35 pm »

Ancient Aliens had an Assassin's Creed crossover?
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Reudh

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #129137 on: December 02, 2017, 09:12:46 pm »

There's a gated community called South Park in a city here in my country. It became news because a woman was murdered there this week by the gardener to steal 100 american dollars or something, which equal around two or three years of work here.

I'm pretty, pretty sure the community was called because of the show and nothing else.

There's an industrial complex in my state called South Park. It became news once upon a time because VicRoads (I guess our DMV?) named one of the streets in it "Kilkenny Drive".


In flooding news, the rain's abated, the drain has held, so no major flooding in my area. Still, north eastern Vic got swamped, and portions of Melbourne were hit hard (see: Maribyrnong River, Moonee Ponds Creek), but it seems to have passed for now.

Jopax

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #129138 on: December 03, 2017, 08:12:05 am »

So remember how I lost my ID a few days ago?

Well, as it turns out, it was lost a month and a half ago on the border crossing when one of the police folk forgot to give it back and I hadn't noticed. The really fucked up part of this is that I wasn't notified by the police that they had my ID, no, it was a friend of my sister crossing the border who noticed the damn thing on display as a lost item.
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NJW2000

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #129139 on: December 03, 2017, 08:16:59 am »

You'd think, of the things you could lose, an ID would be the one that made it easiest for a government organisation to contact you.
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Ehndras

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #129140 on: December 03, 2017, 10:44:53 am »

Well shit... One minute my Ach'remoc Dominion Salvager "Ebih 001" is on its way to the wreckage of a Triumvirate-Progenitor death-match in orbit of a recently-reactivated Jump Gate... It arrives on-site with little fanfare and tethers to the hull of an unknown vessel - one of dozens that bear the hallmarks of Progenitor construction. As we breach the airlock and our crew takes its first step inward, the Dominion's first and only Salvager joins the celestial necropolis it so eagerly sought to defile. Akhva'ar's long-range surveillance system immediately detects a series of class-C energy signatures that perforate the Progenitor derelict after running their course through the hulk of our Salvager. Five seconds is all it took for the Dominion's largest-ever ship to disintegrate in a hail of exotic particles launched from an undetected Triumvirate attack squadron.

...So began the interplanetary war between the Ach'remoc Dominion, the Ach'rim Triumvirate, and - unexpectedly enough - the Progenitori.

At first we feared the Progenitors would attack us for poaching their derelict, but instead they launched an invasion of the Triumvirate! A sudden cloud of fighters swiftly overpowered the Triumvirate fleet guarding the Jump Gate into Progenitor Space, before a wicked-looking capital-ship fleet bee-lined straight for the Ach'rim homeworld. The Dominion could do little but sit anxiously and helplessly as tens of thousands of energy weapon impacts echoed through the detection-system's feed, wondering when they'd meet their makers. However, the Progenitor's unique technological and tactical prowess dismantled the Triumvirate's entire battlefleet before it could so much as launch a single projectile against the Dominion. Except for the Salvager that begat the cosmic shitstorm, of course.

The war started in Year 4, Aug 20th, circa 11:35 in the morning. By Aug 21st around 0839 in the morning, the Progenitors had blown up just about everything moving that didn't belong to us. The last action we detected was a series of 115+ strength-16 nuclear detonations and a sudden appearance of 7 Tefnut derelicts. We never even detected their damn battlefleet! All we could see were explosions and energy signatures lighting up the entire system, with dozens upon dozens of wrecks scattered about.

A few hours later, the Dominion grows a pair and decides to pursue a trio of unknown Triumvirate vessels guarding a deactivated Jump Gate due "south" of the quadrant's plane. After witnessing the first Progenitor-Triumvirate battle and noting how the cheaper, faster, and more numerous Progenitor fighters all but annihilated the Triumvir capital ships, we began assembling our own low-tech fighter squadron: composed of 10 high-powered microwave "disablers"; 10 anti-missile fighters carrying a whopping total of 34 size-1 box launchers - great point-defense or death by a thousand cuts - and 10 anti-ship missile fighters with beautiful size-6 monsters that do respectable if bland damage and somewhat terrible maneuverability & seed. Granted, our range sucked, our speed was a joke compared to the Progenitors, and I have no clue which star system(s) a good 30+% of the Triumvirate fleet disappeared off to, but we managed to blind all 3 Uadjet ships via ASM shock damage, then I pepper-boxed one with AMM's until its last engine blew and left it totally stranged, before finishing the other two off with ASM's. One day I'll go back and capture that ship, and have the pleasure of interrogating the bastards on-board. Until then, let them languish in the shadows of a dormant Jump Gate like the subspecies scum their will always be.

...I am SO. FRIGGIN. GLAD. We managed to luck out on my diplomacy team rolls and establish a solid comm channel with the Progenitors. It would have really, REALLY sucked otherwise. Fighting the Ach'rim Triumvirate years before we expected was bad enough, but fighting the Progenitors too? Shiiiiiet... Their FIGHTERS outgun and outrange all my PDC's, capital ships, and fighters combined...

...Never did get to see their capital ships in action... *shudder*
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Sirus

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #129141 on: December 03, 2017, 10:51:51 am »

Wrong thread? That sounds like Aurora.
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Ehndras

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #129142 on: December 03, 2017, 10:57:06 am »

Wrong thread? That sounds like Aurora.

Not wrong thread at all. Massive WTF moment that scared/surprised the hell out of me after a metric ton of planning, multiple AARs, and more notes than are even vaguely necessary, which I thought would come to a swift end at a moment's notice.

I was one click away from ragequitting Aurora for another 2-3 years.
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Quote from: Yoink
You're never too old to enjoy flying body parts.  
Quote from: Vector
Ehndras, you are the prettiest man I have ever seen
Quote from: Dorsidwarf
"I am a member of Earth. I enjoy to drink the water. In Earth we have an internal skeleton."

Tiruin

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #129143 on: December 03, 2017, 11:38:45 am »

Wrong thread? That sounds like Aurora.

Not wrong thread at all. Massive WTF moment that scared/surprised the hell out of me after a metric ton of planning, multiple AARs, and more notes than are even vaguely necessary, which I thought would come to a swift end at a moment's notice.

I was one click away from ragequitting Aurora for another 2-3 years.
I was told to wait for the C# because it is better but I'm always hyped to try playing Aurora! :'(
Although I'm easily lost on what to do in the first place, however. :-[
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IronTomato

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #129144 on: December 03, 2017, 11:39:10 am »

I work in the produce department of my friendly neighborhood grocery store and this happenened yesterday:

IronTomato: *culling fruit, spacing out until I notice the only other associate currently working with me just kind of hovering around me doing nothing*

IronTomato: "Watcha doin'?"

Guy: "There's nothing TO do."

IronTomato: *looks around briefly, immediately notices shelves that can be filled*

IronTomato: "You could try filling asparagus, 3 lb onion bags and [something else I can't remember]."

Guy: "I'm avoiding those since I don't care about those."

IronTomato: "...Well, try to care a little bit."

Guy: "No."

IronTomato: [INTERNALLY SCREAMING]
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Sirus

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #129145 on: December 03, 2017, 11:54:48 am »

That's...kinda impressive, really.
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hector13

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #129146 on: December 03, 2017, 12:22:32 pm »

When I'm at work and not wanting to do work, I at least try to look as though I'm doing work.
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GiglameshDespair

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #129147 on: December 03, 2017, 04:58:59 pm »

Everything in The Bureau: Xcom Declassified is wrong.

Xcom was founded to fight commies if they invaded the USA. Elerium mines on earth. Ethereals are energy beings. Sectopods are quadruped machines with sectoid pilots and a gatling gun sticking out the front. You can call in artillery in an underground base.

The gameplay is janky, with enemies getting stuck on terrain. Random sounds like gunshots stop playing randomly. The plot contradicts itself. The subtitles don't fully match the dialogue. The facial animations for speech are vaguely disturbing.

I got this game for free and I still feel I paid too much.

E: pre-rendered cutscenes are also inexplicably super low quality.
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IronTomato

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #129148 on: December 03, 2017, 07:11:53 pm »

Xterminate COMmunists: Murrica Defense
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Mech#4

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #129149 on: December 03, 2017, 08:29:43 pm »

Everything in The Bureau: Xcom Declassified is wrong.

Xcom was founded to fight commies if they invaded the USA. Elerium mines on earth. Ethereals are energy beings. Sectopods are quadruped machines with sectoid pilots and a gatling gun sticking out the front. You can call in artillery in an underground base.

The gameplay is janky, with enemies getting stuck on terrain. Random sounds like gunshots stop playing randomly. The plot contradicts itself. The subtitles don't fully match the dialogue. The facial animations for speech are vaguely disturbing.

I got this game for free and I still feel I paid too much.

E: pre-rendered cutscenes are also inexplicably super low quality.


And the first trailer for this game, with the black blob alien possessing people and the large monolith thing, looked very interesting. Like a 50s version of "They Live".
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