Last night, family asks, "hey, think you could drop a transmission for me?" I go, to more bluntly paraphrase, "hell if I know, would have to go look, try." Cause I had fuck all knowledge or experience with whatever was involved.
Morning comes. Go look. Look up how-to, what the hell the transmission actually is (didn't remember, I don't work with engines enough to retain what the blazes anything is except the battery and various liquid input holes), what's needed and how long it'd probably take, risks, etc.
Look at a few different step by steps. Stare for a while. Under two hour job if you know what you're doing and are in relatively good shape -- neither describes me, the latter emphatically doesn't describe said family, in the "doctor has told you to not fucking do this shit repeatedly" sense, and the former conditionally due to senility. Takes tools we don't seem to have (have jack! Need transmission jack or adapter, which if we do I can't find and is needed to reduce chance of maiming and/or critical repair failure). Heavily recommends a second person there that would be able to do more than call an ambulance and/or have a heart attack/stroke and die if something went wrong. Happens to be the one of the more common operations that ends up ruining a vehicle and/or its transmission if you screw up any one of two or three different steps.
Like. Good bloody goddamn hell. A) No. Get someone here that has at least somewhat more of an idea of what they're doing and I'll help even if it's fuckstupid o'clock during the day (I.e. any point after about six am and before around 7 pm, at the moment). B) Please stop trying to do shit that runs an unnecessarily high chance of wrecking things, just because you're too fucking impatient to wait a few days. C) For the nth goddamn time please stop trying to get yourself and/or me maimed and/or killed by trying to get things done neither of us have any business trying to do.