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[Dunamisdeos]

I can't quite understand wtf is being discussed.

Neon might be semi-bragging about his ability to fit long and cylindrical objects fully into his mouth, and I'm pretty sure the rest of us are now being filled with doubt about our asparagus eating habits.

I mean, I naturally imagine asparagus to scream and desperately wave stick figure arms as I bite it in the back, tearing out its spine. I then glory in the thrill of the kill before stuffing the mutilated remains of its corpse into my moth and letting out a fearsome roar in order to discourage nearby scavengers.

If I was you I would roar twice to discourage Neo from trying to eat that asparagus in an unpredictable number of bites.

[Egan_BW]

I usually prefer to eat the soft and delicious head part first, then work the tougher stalk part into my mouth by chewing on it.

[Loud Whispers]

I can't quite understand wtf is being discussed.

Neon might be semi-bragging about his ability to fit long and cylindrical objects fully into his mouth, and I'm pretty sure the rest of us are now being filled with doubt about our asparagus eating habits.

I mean, I naturally imagine asparagus to scream and desperately wave stick figure arms as I bite it in the back, tearing out its spine. I then glory in the thrill of the kill before stuffing the mutilated remains of its corpse into my moth and letting out a fearsome roar in order to discourage nearby scavengers.

Spoiler: mfw (click to show/hide)

[Dunamisdeos]

I usually prefer to eat the soft and delicious head part first, then work the tougher stalk part into my mouth by chewing on it.

That sounds like some advanced methodology there.

How many times do you chew the soft/hard parts before swallowing? We should absolutely compare this to other expert opinions, such as Neo. Optimal chew time must be adhered to.

[MrRoboto75]

I fold the asparagus in half with my mouth as it enters

[Dunamisdeos]

I fold the asparagus in half with my mouth as it enters

It seems so obvious now.

[martinuzz]

I fold the asparagus in half with my mouth as it enters

mandatory "I wonder what Freud would say"

[Hanslanda]

I pick up one piece at a time and hold it with both hands, then take tiny little gnawing bites quickly. Then I furtively glance around for predators.

[scriver]

I enticingly tie the asparagus into a knot using only my tounge. Sometimes when i do it I'm not even looking at myself in the mirror.

[MrRoboto75]

"I wonder what Freud would say"

"Your mother"?

[MaximumZero]

I don't eat it. At all. Asparagus is gross.

[Descan]

I can't cook it right. Turns a li'l mushy and mostly stringy.

[Sirus]

I can't honestly say I'm a fan of asparagus. Maybe if I had it cooked juuuuuust right...

[Baffler]

It always comes out fine for me. Course I cook it in a skillet, and that's hard to mess up pretty much no matter what you've got on there.

[Dunamisdeos]

I can't cook it right. Turns a li'l mushy and mostly stringy.

Reduce your cook time by 2-3 minutes, also, try one of the many techniques documented in this, the asparagus thread!