I had a nice nap from 1AM to 2AM at which point I woke up to persistent Skype beeping. Turns out my tabletop group was discussing my assertion that human blood is kosher, for my Jewish vampire in VtR.
We ended up talking about that for 90 minutes, with several references, and found a fascinating set of audio lectures that our GM is determined to listen to.
we kinda didn't answer the actual question but i think i argued it well enough to pass?
So then around 4AM I spent some experience points on a brilliant, *always* a great idea, gosh I wonder why it's taking me so long to save up for Obfuscate 4
And now we're reading the free Dudes Of Legend expansion book. Which is basically White Wolf going full tsundere on april 1 and taking the piss out of their game and their fans. And look, I know these are professional writers who can effect an affectation... or uh, whatever... but I'm actually convinced they wrote this drunk. It's very well written, actually! But the rambling meter of it is just extremely familiar to me. The outrageous sense of "humor" too.
If they weren't constantly claiming to be drunk, I'd be entirely convinced they were.
No, no, I get it. You think we’re joking.
I hear you: “Meh-ha-hee-ha, oh, trenchcoats and strippers, it’s an
April Fool’s Day thing from those wacky White Wolf guys again. They’re
probably drunk on mezcal, or high on the dust ground from the bones of
a long-lost subterranean humanoid race.”
Drunk? Yes. High on the bone dust of a fallen hobbit species? Duh.
But we’re not fucking around. You put that out of your head. You
put it out of your head, or we’ll kick it out. With boots. With fat, clunky
steel-toe construction boots.
Yeah, keep on giggling.
See, you think whatever you want, but strippers? Awesome. Lesbian
strippers? Double-awesome. Lesbian strippers whipping off their trenchcoats
only to reveal a katana tucked delicately in a garter or g-string?
That is a face full of awesome. Your face will be dripping with awesome.
The sauce of awesome will give you a nasal enema.
Oh, don’t you turn your nose down at me. Or is it, look down your
nose and turn up your nose? It has to be, right? It can’t be look up your
nose, because that’s disgusting. Especially after that whole “nasal enema”
thing. Wait. Where were we? What’s happening? Why am I wearing this
rabbit costume with the ass cut out?
All right. Shake it off. Shake it off. Get back in the game. Refocus.
Laser precision. Forget about what Mommy said. Forget her. You don’t
need her anymore.
Ah. Yes. That’s right. Here we go.
Don’t you condescend to me, man. You’re trapped in your little uppity
world where vampires are merely conveyances for personal horror,
where Frankensteins are just lumbering vehicles for existential dread.
You’re locked in a little box of morality and meaning, and somewhere
along the way you forgot how to have fun. That’s right. I’m talking to you,
emo-boy. With your Flock of Seagulls haircut and your poofy shirt. Why
so serious? You’ve got to get shut of that shit, son. Or lady. Or ladyboy.
Or whatever gender conglomeration you happen to be. We’re screaming
it so the cheap seats can hear. We’re delivering a gospel—gospel means
“good news,” remember—of raw unbridled bad-ass motherfucking awesome
to your soul.
We’re going to teach you how to have fun again.
Gone with the gloomy-gus mope-mask, people.
It’s time to rock out with your cock out.
Or, for the ladies, time to jam out with your clam out.
Or, for the gender ambiguous, it’s time to... drop curtain... on your... uhh,
uncertain? It’s time to do the serious funk out with your, ummm, mysterious
junk out? Hrm. I’m just not feeling that one. I tried. I really tried.
Shut up.
"It's time to drop curtain on your uncertain" is definitely something I'm going to find opportunity to quote. And soon. Er, maybe I just did?
Anyway I am really tripping on sleepiness right now, so I should probably go back to sleep. Just... Wow though. I never needed alcohol, the trip was within my circadian rhythm all along.
You might be asking yourself, “Why the hell does
a stupid eagle have Composure? Or Manipulation?
Does that mean that the eagle can manage to not look
like an asshole in a social situation? Or that he might,
on a good dice roll, be able to sell me a used car? Yes.
It means both of those things. Now lie back and
think of England.