Do kamikaze runs and survive the impact.
Be able to hack/cheat and debug life so I can spawn whatever I want, when I want.
Be able to mod life to have things not normally included.
Be able to mess with Raws.
Take on tons of damage and not die. On that note, heal just by touching or stepping over what is considered healthy (or would heal).
Use adventure game/Sierra/LucasArts logic, and have it work. Basically, if it works in context, it will work.
Save/load and quicksave/quickload.
No damage models for my car so it's technically invincible (Gran Turismo). While on that game note, modify my car with numbers instead of actual tinkering.
Give physics the middle finger and do the impossible (screw with gravity and thermodynamics).
Cast magic ala Final Fantasy style, and invent some of my own tricks (one signature combo being fire-ice-lightning; First you burn, the fires freeze into solid ice, and electricity flows between the bubbles, inexplicably exploding because of the awesome light show. Lots of damage.)
Climb and defeat colossi. And while we're at it, have theme music (battle, overworld, traveling themes).
Own an airship of my design. Already have a few I already drew, including Bloodfist.
Communicate via text sans cell phone. Much like Minecraft and other MMO games. Voice optional if I want to remain anonymous vocally. Communicate regardless of location; but only when I am "online".
Have a '~' key so I can use a console to life, and use that to cheat in further detail.
Be able to buy and sell anything at any store.
Go on quests for artifacts that should belong to Warehouse 13, but be allowed to keep them because I'm the protagonist.
Be able to craft at least simple items like Minecraft.
Be able to craft impossible things (like artifacts) by getting tons of random materials and crafting them in moments ala DF style.
Smash things for loot, leave the room/house, and no collateral damage is done when I return (possibly restocked with loot as well).
Survive something that'll normally kill a (or many) person(s).
Stop or slow down time (Slomo or Playersonly 1 cheats (Unreal Tournament)).
Fastforward with a macro'd routine for repetitive tasks.
Record/screenshot without a camera, and have omniscient views/time manipulation when viewing. AKA Replay Mode.
Have 3rd-person perspective (and maybe cinematic perspective) just for the hell of it.
Carry as much as I want due to hammerspace in games (carry all sorts of crap in my pockets, including even my own computer), and not suffer encumbrance.
While at it, be able to instantly pick up and transport things and not waste breath with effort.
Ban/mute annoying people from my 'server'
Carry improbable amounts of money, and not have anyone treat me differently because of it.
In agreement with others, Portal Gun. To make it safer, increase my fall distance resilience so I don't break a leg from regular falls. It would take more like dropping from a building to cause it instead.
On this note, no awkward falls no matter how I land, or how far I fall.
My vision improves the better graphics settings (provided God's computer can handle it) I use.
Difficulty settings. Change them mostly by will (unless RL is hard by design).
Be able to carry and use a weapon for any reason for any purpose, and not have anyone think otherwise.
Be able to cut anything in half with a sword. Destroy anything with a gun. Use improbable ammo (IE- magic bullets). Have bottomless ammo magazines. Not be required to reload a gun. Be able to carry weapons as big, or larger than I am, and not be encumbered by them.
Friendly fire is optional. (Nothing funnier than messing around with allies by hitting them with rockets, and they're miffed by it, but not dead.)
Speaking of rockets; explosives don't obliterate unless critical existence failure (or the beyond-point) is hit. And even so, death is cheap.
Be able to cherry-tap something to oblivion. (IE- destroy even the toughest things with the most pathetically weak thing.)
Be able to punch out anything for materials (Minecraft).
Be able to make a farm by mowing the lawn, and replanting any seeds I find.
Have (un)limited (food) supplies by replanting or respawning the source material. (EX- replant a branch, make a tree)
Have things take less time to do/produce.
Apply "Rule of Fun/Cool".
Make friends with enemies by defeating them (if a story option).
Anything can be solved with combat.
RL rules don't apply to me (because I'm the pro/antagonist).
Pilot a mech.
Do impossible aerial maneuvers, and nut suffer the consequences (like blackout and such).
I can survive being in space (breathe and move around without a space suit; no decompression, freezing, or any other bad space experience with Death as a side-effect.).
Be able to beat Death up, and win.
Go mono y mono against God, a god, or godlike being, and win.
Play extreme Capture the Flag games. You know what I'm talking about. The kind that involve WMDs, tanks, and so on.
Go to, or battle in, impossible architectures.
Visit, or live on, a floating isle/continent.
Die, and live to tell the tale (IE- be able to respawn, or be able to revive via extra lives)
My achievements are visible for others to view.
Just about anything is edible.
Any dimension is visible.
Slide between alternate realities because of visiting other servers.
Apply perceptual reality (IE- Echochrome or personal server mods)
Warp to other locations by non-traditional means. For example, via books (Myst).
Have a war without consequence or reason (IE- Red vs Blu(e) battles).
Be anyone else by options, mods, or bodyswapping.
Anything can be a weapon, no matter how ridiculous.
Sandbox mode
Breathe underwater. While at it, also be able to run underwater (Sonic games).
Shields work as they're implied (Sonic 3's shields, for example).
Everything in concept always comes with their secondary superpower to prevent RL consequences that would naturally occur and not end well.
Fly a spaceship, and also be capable of FTL speeds (again, with secondary superpower, not suffer time dialation by FTLs.)
Be able to have followers follow my commands without question (no matter how ridiculous or suicidal).
Be able to make custom characters.
Be unnaturally good at sports and other activities, despite how much my stats (or starting stats) suck.
-1 = infinite/unlimited (whatever you want here).
My point comes across without having to say anything (Silent protagonist; IE- Crono, any other lead character in an RPG)
The end of the world can wait. I need to race for that WMD that someone's just giving away the grand prize, which also requires out-pacing a godlike rider.
Wait, that beast was harder than the asshole that's ending the world in the first place. Why isn't he the bad guy instead?
I am a headcrab
I can escape through vents, and they are surprisingly roomy.
I sold some priceless treasure (like the Ark of the Covenant) for a buck, just for the hell of it.
Imagination > RL
Anything I say goes, because I say so
I'm more powerful than all armies around the world, just because I'm just that badass (or protagonist rule).
I can earn money for just about any reason.
I can find elixers inside clocks.
Use magitek.
No matter how difficult the task, I know exactly what I'm supposed to do, and with what because my primary objective is always highlighted.
I know exactly where something is because I am targeting it.
Noclip/fly/ghost mode
Use a Mini-map, and be able to stop time when looking at it at full
Be able to snipe or view closer (like binoculars) without actually looking through a scope or set of binoculars.
Be able to become a ragdoll, and not get harmed. And even if hurt, it only translates into points (bail mode).
I can fuck around with physics, provided I have enough MP.
I can survive anything, provided I still walk away with a minimum of 1 HP.
Wear armor without it being apparent/visible. (RPGs, Doom with Blue armor or no armor)
Be invisible, or be entirely ignored by choice.
The shirt on my back can protect me from damn-near anything, and not show any wear despite it. (No character/clothing damage/damage models)
On that note; no character, but clothing damage instead (optional). :3
Defeat or death only means "do better next time". (also provided a savegame or quicksave or savestate has been made)
Tool-Assisted Speedrunning my life is allowable/possible.
Friction? What's that?
Luck is a number, and the higher that stat, the more you have.
Survive the deadliest things because my (magic) defense stat is high enough to render it -1 or 0 HP done.
My opponent/mortal enemy is always some sort of attractive (or Ms. Fanservice) character that defines awesome in their own way. Just as well, there will almost always be an ally like that, but good-girl good, or anti-hero badass good. (preferably the badass, because they have better lines/mid-combat chatter.)
[INSERT TROPE HERE]
Almost regardless what I say, it makes sense to somebody.
Some crackpots are correct.
Certain drugs are cooler or more fun
I can see my stats, status, karma, etc. I can also see how others view me.
Being a one-wing angel is possible.
I can destroy the world in a catastrophic attack, and it's good the next second; only my enemy/target is hurt.
I can mimic my enemy's attack exactly, regardless what form they are/were.
I can survive a black hole or big bang, or even being sent into another dimension.
I can kill anything by turning it invisible, and sending Death to pick them up.
I can almost destroy the world by turning someone or something invisible, and trying to duplicate a rendering of them, and somehow walk away with 99 Excaliburs.
Tonic water can heal me (HP), and alcohol can enlighten me (MP), and an elixer can do both. Make that a mega, and I can do that to everyone in my group by myself.
I can hold 5+ relationships simultaneously, and nobody would ask. Nobody in the harem would even have a problem with it.
I can hit everyone in one motion, regardless of their distance, and nobody would bat an eye.
I can kill someone by poking them, and nobody would ask how that's possible.
I can beat someone to death with their own skull, and it's somehow physically possible.
I can do anything in the buff, and nobody would call the authorities because of indecent exposure.
Provided I start anything I say (especially in text) with /me, I can do virtually anything.
I can have duplicates or past versions of myself, and time/space won't care.
My local church has a puzzle in it, and stores a local deity of incomprehensible power which can be summoned on a whim.
I can store all sorts of random crap in my room from previous battles and so forth, and none of it can be used against me in a court or anything related.
If I want (but not really), I can't overcome anything higher than my waist or in a designated space (invisible walls). However, I can tightrope walk across anything up to a pixel wide/thickness or fully transparent/visibly non-existent.
I can use materials in their raw state. No refinement required.
I can split a tank in half with a pure gold sword.
Making glass is as simple as cooking sand in the oven at 350 degrees for 5 seconds; and I can make a 1:1 scale replica of the Empire State Building out of it, and it will stand without any support. Hell, make that a 1:1 scale replica of the pyramids of Giza, standing on their summits without support, and they will not topple over, crack, break, or shatter.
If ever trapped in a maze, I can go through one doorway, and come out the other side of the maze.
I can stop an entire alien invasion with a tank.
I can make quantum singularities by shooting an arrow made for it from a compound bow.
I can steal my friend's car, trash it, have it blow up in their driveway, visit them, and they won't care; they'll just give me a mission to do. After the briefing, their car is back in one piece.
I can make a Rube Goldberg device out of a city, and nobody would complain.
I can fly a jet underwater or fly a submarine.
I can hit all my targets with a powerful spell for free, just by doing math.
Livestream what I'm doing, and hear others' commentary as I do it.
Listen to good music on the radio.
Be able to experience a head-on collision, not get hurt, and take the guy who I crashed into's car, and make off with minimal-to-no consequences.
Commit a crime of some sort, and be able to get away with it, provided I have no stars/cop heads on my HUD. Even if I do, I just collect a star on the road and be able to bribe them with it.
Speaking of stars, I touch one, I'm unstoppable for a few seconds.
Jewelry has more meaning since I can collect about 7 emeralds and go super. I can trade them in for bigger ones (I no longer NEED to carry) and I can go hyper. Rings also make me invincible, provided I have at least one on me, and I collect it after getting hurt.
I don't have to eat or drink at all. Hell, I don't even have to go to the bathroom, possibly sleep, or brush my teeth.
I can eat ghosts, provided I eat a large pill (or is it a round of cheese?) first. Don't worry, they'll come back, they're just eyes for the moment.
As long as I'm carrying iron boots, I can float on water. I put them on though, I'll sink like a rock.
Gravity and wind doesn't apply to me when I fire a projectile or bullet weapon. I always hit my mark (provided I aimed well enough).
I can roll up a ball of gum, and use that to eventually pick up countries or even planets, and physics won't care. In fact, the King of All Cosmos would be amazed (though disappointed).
Save the world from the Apocalypse by traveling through time with a geeky childhood friend, a princess, a frog knight, a robot, a cavewoman, and a powerful dark magician (who I previously kicked the ass of).
Crack "impossible" codes just by having a high enough stat or at least be able to access them because of said stat; with possible bonuses included as well (Iji)
Be able to take down armored foes with my bare hands or feet.
Hack any computer at any time for any reason.
Live in a house that defies physics
Have my own private world/sandbox environment
Allow Multiplayer mode for the sandbox
Deathmatch
Go to Hell and beat the crap out of the devil by shooting rockets into his head, and walk back home unopposed.
"Zero-Point Energy Field Manipulator" AKA Gravity Gun. Do want.
Have the right words before me, and I can pick and choose the right ones to use.
Fly a plane and not always have to suffer the effects of realism.
IDKFA
Drop a stone on top of a firefly and it explodes rather big. Drop a stone on top of a butterfly, now I'm rich (Boulder Dash)
Getting arrested immediately brings me to the nearest police station and I only lose all my weapons (unless I'm dating someone that's the leader of the gun club) and 6 hours. Similar can be said about dying and hospitals, except the girl I'm dating is a medic. (GTA:SA)
3 words: Freefall Base Jumping
Unless the plot says so, I will never lose anyone I know or care about, even if I accidentally get them mauled during a mission.
It's okay to hijack a train and use it as a battering ram... to knock on my friend's door.
Lead the police on a wild goose chase while driving an indestructable limo in the middle of a bustling city. (GTAIII)
Taking advantage of bugs that make the game more interesting.
Use a pogo stick that makes me jump to ridiculous heights, and have unbelievable control over my trajectory while at it.
Be able to craft a functional spaceship out of recycled cans, a joystick, a vacuum cleaner, a car battery, and some booze. While at it, visit mars, stop a mothership from destroying the earth, and saving the race that was attacking from mind-control slavery by a rival 1 IQ point smarter than me. (Commander Keen)
Send an abominable snowman after skiiers that finish a mountain, and keep on going afterward.
Join a starfleet academy as a cadet and gain promotions by playing pinball. (Space Cadet Pinball)
Be a janitor and save the universe many times.
Become king by solving riddles.
Save the Earth from aliens with my own organization of redshirts funded by governments around the world.
Own a jet that has a near-limitless amount of ammo and be able to destroy impossibly large structures and airships with it. (Any Konami Game and any Ace Combat game)
Be able to design my own dungeon and hunt for monsters and loot in it every other day.
Walk out on conversations or cut them short with a response and not be considered rude.
In case I missed something important, I can ask someone and they'll repeat the exact phrase.
If I need to know something important, it will be highlighted; person, place, or thing. And it it perfectly visible for me to catch.
If someone is talking; if it's important who it is, I WILL know their name, unless not provided initially for story reasons, or I need to give them a name later on.
Give people I first meet or hear about my own name for them; would usually come with an idea of their name before I give them a new one.
I can be named with ASCII characters.
I don't need a spray can to spraypaint images on surfaces.
I get me a special pair of shoes, I can run up to 10x quicker, and my theme music speeds up as well.
I can get eaten by something, and either fight my way out, or go through a dungeon inside them to get out (hopefully out the mouth or the same way I came in if otherwise; preferably mouth).
I can hang out with other famous people in the same profession as I am, while running amok causing all sorts of collateral damage to arbitrary locations making them more fun to bike/skate/etc. in.
My car has weapons on it, and it can jump, and it has a jetpack... What of it.
My walls have elaborate engravings of cheese on them.
I can change clothes or attire immediately.
Random accessories or relics give me special abilities.
I can't get sick, confused, poisoned, cursed, or anything else you can think of. Why? I'm wearing a ribbon.
I break all kinds of traffic rules, and I get paid pretty damn well as a taxi, because I was fast. And for some reason The Offspring keeps playing on my radio as I do it; or at least some crazy punk rock.
At almost anytime, whether driving or flying, I for some reason, always carry the appearance similar to The Stig. And I sort of have records similar to what he would get.
My theme song (or series music) is so kickass, it has countless remixes of it, and with proper modding, also uses them.
Your life is hell. My life is Kaizo.
Eating mushrooms makes me grow, and climbing or jumping down pipes brings me to new locations. Flowers also make me shoot fireballs, and I grow a racoon's tail if I touch a brown leaf.
I can walk on top of clouds.
I can cure my madness by wandering the depths of my head, and killing all sorts of bizarre nightmares that wander about and eat their spirit energy.
I gain my enemies abilities by defeating them. For some reason, their ability I gained is the weakness of one of their friends, and this loops around the group of 8 friends led by my father's (creator's) nemesis.
I get all the detail I need about something by using the "Look" command.
I can go-kart with my mortal enemy.
My other ride is a dragon.
My other other ride is a dragon that eats foes and craps eggs.
Area 51 is next door, and it always has aliens and alien technology.
I work with a shady organization, minus the consequences for working with one.
I'm a good bad guy.
I'm a bad good guy.
Drive my dream car and trash it, mod it, and use it to evade the cops close to 200MPH.
Reset button.
Glass is stronger than you think.
Make a pseudo-natural monumental jawbreaker with gravel for a core surrounded with magma encased in ice covered in obsidian wrapped together with vines and foliage covered in another layer of ice covered in dirt covered in fire covered with water covered in paper encased in magma and covered in another layer of dirt with grass on top and made to look like a smiley.
My initials are visible in the night sky.
'Hot Coffee Mode', but more interactive, and minus controversy.
Drive upside-down in a pipeline.
Be able to 'lock wheels' with my opposing driver, and somehow make them drive off at supersonic speeds out of control. Sometimes I go flying off in the same way. Signs of it happening is when 9999 RPMs are heard in seconds.
Drive through a loop and abuse the physics and construction of the loop and be able to go top speed in seconds since I started at top gear when driving through it. (Stunts, same with the above 2)
Pedal as fast, or faster, than a train on a BMX.
Parkour doesn't hurt if I mess up. And I can do this anywhere. Especially wide-open sandboxes.
I can rule the country in the buff (CivNet)
Formula 1 cars are a dime a dozen. Same can be said about NASCAR cars.
I'm not penalized for driving the course backwards, head-on into the raceway traffic. In fact, as long as my car's working, if I'm the only car left running, I still win.
Frogs are a big as half a car, and I can control them by my will into traffic, or to the other side. (Frogger)
I spin or somersault into my enemies, they get hurt or destroyed. I can even roll into walls and they break.
I can pierce the heavens with a drill.
My life can be summarized with good editing here and there into something interesting, funny, or all-around silly, themed with music and pop culture references.
I am a hero for nearly nuking the world to take out the bad guy.
Blood loss is nothing
Machinima were made from my life. Using myself and everyone else in the environment as well as the environment itself to follow a script.
I can fly a Star Destroyer as well as I can with an X-Wing.
I can serve the allies and our enemies we're fighting, and I wouldn't be filed for treason.
I can beat the Nürburgring in less than 7 minutes easy. I'll need a gameshark and a B-Spec mode however.
When rally car driving, barrier tape and fences (hell, even people that take pictures or recordings) are fucking strong, and keeps me on course; even if I hit them.
I can pull a 129,600 corkscrew spin in a second, and not suffer any trauma. Even if I clip the side of a building to stop.
I can drive a boat while it's upside-down, and while it's propulsion and rudders are above-water while at it.
I can drive a tank off a building, and not leave a dent or crater, or even shake foundation when it touches down.
I can steer the Space Shuttle Atlantis to a KFC and double-down while on my mission to dock with the ISS, and somehow, still complete the mission.
Celebrities voice the people I know, or should know.
I know all the government's secrets, thanks to the town crackpot or hippie being right about everything.
An island I visited's natives built me a yacht, despite how primitive they look.
I can drive a hovercraft off the roof of a tall building and steer it like a leaf in the wind.
My business's stock abbreviation is ASS.
My initials are ASS, regardless my actual name
I can end a nuclear war with nuclear weapons.
I can end a riot by hiring a musician.
My local news station's anchor saved the world from aliens by dancing to a tune. (Space Channel 5)
I can lead a bunch of little dudes with green hair and blue suits to safety or to their deaths by telling them what to do.
I can command a bunch of little bearded dudes to screw around with physics, and build me an airship, or other insane thing.
My god is a toad. Or at least a guy that appears to be a toad. Calls himself the One.
I can brew alcoholic beverages from virtually anything.
My pet is a war carippoparpamus.
I can go from 0-9999MPH in miliseconds.
A vuvezela makes a half-decent weapon.
Politics have no meaning (oh wait...)
My friends or people I know online make up my crack team of suicidal bombers (myself included).
I can relive wars throughout history on a whim.
I can use the Millennium Falcon can be used to end WWII.
I can discover nuclear weapons before I discover the wheel.
Communism actually works.
Money has no meaning
"I didn't botch it; whoever's controlling me did." is an excuse for sucking at something
Through modding, my sports bile went up in flames after I crashed it. "I have no clue how it happened. I hit the stop sign, and the it went up in flames"
Anything is flammable, even fire itself.
An area around me glows in the middle of darkness.
A little fairy constantly bugs me about things I already know.
I can kill vampires, and other horrifying beasts with a whip
Anytime I enter a building when there are 3 or 6 seconds left on a countdown or egg timer, fireworks go off above the building.
Turtles can fly, and flowers spit fire at me.
I can go on a SPEC OPS mission, shoot my teammates, finish the mission, and not get discharged.
Delta Squad/Force/Team has all the fun missions, and is full of badasses that don't follow the same level of seriousness like the rest of the army/navy/airforce/etc.
I carry the callsign "Mobius 1", every pilot against me craps themselves.
Final encounters against my mortal enemy has epic music, and over-the-top battles.
I can barrel roll a Boeing 747 or an Antonov AN-225, and not destroy the plane in the process.
I can do a 360 with a fighter jet. While at it, also gunkill the shmuck that was on my 6.
I can play any instrument and any song. Provided I play on easy/medium. I can play Freebird easily.
I beat the devil on a guitar duel.
Music powers my weapons.
Eldritch abominations are my next-door neighbors; and somehow they also all appear to be girls.
A certain flamethrower is more effective if I scorch my target from behind.
I get sniped, I can immediately see who shot me.
I can wear a Halloween mask, and that is disguise enough
I have an unlimited supply of holy hand grenades
I'm a kleptomaniac, and nobody cares
Trebuchets take seconds to install, all 50 of them simultaneously.
I can drive a Shelby Cobra strapped with machine guns in the stone age and help the locals wipe out the other guy.
I scream "jack be nimble" from the Stone Age to the Iron Age, catapults toss villagers instead of rocks.
I can teleport and not turn into a fly.
I can charge through a mall in a hocky mask and wielding a chainsaw, and nobody would flinch.
My shotgun fires rockets
I use Cheat Engine and select my life as a process, I can virtually change anything, provided I can find it's code.
I can kill a T-Rex with a squad of chickens
A Reliant Robin can turn sharp corners at high speeds (unlike RL, as Top Gear shows)
Drugs are good. Pain pills temporarily heal me, adrenaline speeds me up, and anti-rads nullify radiation
I always know where I'm going. I always come with a map.
Hamburgers I find in the garbage are still edible.
My favorite thing is always my most destructive ability
I can win a battle by getting my ass kicked. Optionally, also seeing someone else struggle with the guy I lost to, and watch them die in a humiliating manner, take their ability, and use it properly to thoroughly, and quickly, defeat my enemy. Shouldn't have spared me dumbass.
The list goes on.
I may have to spoiler this; too many ideas. Done.
In a sense, I live my life like I am in a game sometimes, just in case it really is one. Of course, following the rules just in case.