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[Argonnek]

Love has bloomed in the fortress of Whiskeybridle!

The Doctor Datost and the Scribbler Ducim have started eying each other amorously, perhaps this will mean marriage!

Love had bloomed before between the original Graebeard and Fivex, but they're both dead now.
I have proof:

[Oglokoog]

Even between crazies and obsessive maniacs... love can bloom.
That was actually a reference, I bet nobody gets it though.

[Izual6764]

@Oglokoog
Let me guess... Metal Gear Solid? Can't remember which one, though.

[lolghurt]

I love how the first google result for "Even between crazies and obsessive maniacs... love can bloom." (without quotation marks of course) is the TvTropes Ax Crazy page.

[Oglokoog]

Try just "love can bloom".

[Argonnek]

I've been wondering something. Has my character created an artifact? If so, Where is it?
He claims to be the creator of Niral Dal:


And yet there seems to be no such artifact made in our fortress:


I'm pretty sure that any artifact created in the fort would be listed, and if it was no longer on site, it would be listed as 'lost.' Has the way artifacts get listed been changed in the new version?

[Argonnek]

Autumn Report of the fortress Whiskeybridle.

We've embarked upon the final leg of the year, we shall continue to live and live well thanks to those before me. I believe I've done a fine job of keeping us alive and fed, I've not caused any deaths and have brought us closer than we were before.

But we still have one season to go. If we don't do anything idiotic, the current way of things will continue without interruption.

Forgive me for these very short reports, but we all know that the biggest danger in the fortress at the moment is the alarming number of useless animals we have.

And finally, here is the broker's report on our status:


Note: I have begun flooring projects in the floorless areas of the first cavern, as there is far, far too much loose stone in this fortress.

[Argonnek]

((OOC: I hate to triple post, but there's very little activity right now.))
Final status report under Argonnekkian rule.



We have made it, my stint here is done, I thank you all for cooperating and for not getting yourselves killed.
I feel I have achieved a good deal. I cleared the loose orthoclase, I have reduced the amount of floorless open space in the first cavern, I caged the animal menace, I stockpiled the irritatingly loose gems, and I have expanded our food stores.

I now formally pass on the leadership role to DuckThatQuacks.
There are a few jobs left unfinished, as there is too much ore. I have left orders to smelt enough of it to reduce the stone numbers to 30. I recommend that you allow the ores to be smelted and create nickel bins to store the resulting bars. I began the process, but further work will be necessary.


Well, that about sums it up. I've mentioned what needs to be done above, so here is the save.

[DuckThatQuacks]

I'm going to be boarding a flight soon, so I'll have to wait until tomorrow at least to get started on this. Expect the first update at/around Tuesday.

[DuckThatQuacks]

This is a stone tablet. It does not menace with spikes of any sort, nor is it adorned with any hanging rings. On it are an engraver's musings. The musings are inlaid in the stone, blending with it to form a perfectly smooth surface.

1 Granite, 1058:
At last, I am in command. I can run this fortress much more effectively than the idiots who have been in charge so far.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Those short-sighted fools were obsessed with "cleanliness" and "symmetry" and "soap" (actually, I rather like soap; it's very... smooth). They failed to see the real problem facing Whiskeybridle:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So... much.... unsmoothed stone! And not only did they fail to smooth the stone caverns they carved out from the earth, they also committed an aesthetic atrocity when constructing the tower:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Such poor decisions ensure that the tower is nothing more than a monument to their madness.

It is a stressful time to be a reasonable dwarf here in Whiskeybridle. Fortunately, I have persevered

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

and am now in a position to correct the situation.

My first act as overseer will be to order all dwarves to smoothing duty, except for three masons whose job will be to produce smooth stone blocks for future constructions.

4 Granite, 1058:
It has come to my attention that in the lowest cavern the miners have spotted adamantine, smoothest of metals. I have taken our best miner off of smoothing duty and sent him to harvest the wonderful material.

24 Granite, 1058:
Work has been progressing slowly but smoothly. However, today I received reports of a living fireball in the upper caverns.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

According to the books of lore, this can only be Zikoth Dusaksoshosh, a dread beast not seen since the world was young. We are few enough as it is, so I can't possibly sacrifice any dwarves in a battle with a sentient ball of flame. We'll have to leave it be.

27 Granite, 1058:
I noticed today a small gap in our walls, through which I could glimpse the caverns. Worrying about Zikoth (who, if the books are to believed, has wings and can presumably fly, despite its bloated body), I ordered it sealed (with smooth stone blocks, of course).

7 Felsite, 1058:
The caverns must be a nice place for ancient terrors to hang out, as Zikoth appears to have invited a friend:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

15 Felsite, 1058:



I've invited the elves inside to trade. We're busy, but I'm sure we'll get around to it eventually. Many of my compatriots hate them, but I rather like elves. They're very... smooth creatures. Perhaps we dwarves could learn something from them.

28 Felsite, 1058:
We've brought most of the goods we're trading to the elves in the trade depot, but we still haven't found time to actually trade with them (there is so much to be smoothed!). Tomorrow will mark a new season. I plan to celebrate it by introducing a landmark piece of legislation.


Sorry about the rather uneventful update. It took longer than I expected, because the first time through the game crashed halfway through Slate. Almost exactly the same things were happening, though, including the appearance of a forgotten beast on 24 Granite. That one was a little more menacing, though.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Edit: "Update" is a better word than "turn".

[DuckThatQuacks]

1 Hematite, 1058:
Attention, dwarves of Whiskeybridle: from this day forth, beards are no longer permitted. All male dwarves (and any females who might have beards) are required to shave their beards immediately. Any dwarf found with more than 1/256 of an inch of facial hair will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. It is only with smooth faces that we can move forward to our glorious future.

   - DuckThatQuacks, Overseer

3 Hematite, 1058:
The men have been complaining quite a lot about my groundbreaking new law. I think they are slacking off as a form of protest. I'll need to find something to motivate them.

5 Hematite, 1058:
A dwarf came sprinting back into the fortress today. He rushed into my office and desperately tried to tell me something.

"Oh Armok (*gasp*) they're coming!" he said, his face a mask of terror.
"What? Who is it? Who's coming?" I asked him.
"(*pant*) The el- (*wheeze*) It's the el- (*cough*)"
"Spit it out, man! Are the elves attacking us?"
"No, ma'am! It's worse," he said. "It's the elephants."

"What? Everyone knows that elephants are just stories told to scare dwarf chil-" I was interrupted by a thunderous trumpeting from outside that seemed to shake the earth itself.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I felt the blood drain out of my face.

But as the overseer of this fort, I don't have the luxury of being afraid -- I have a mission, and I will complete it. I forced myself to keep the fear out of my voice.

"Did they chase you?" I asked the shaking dwarf.
"No, ma'am, I don't think so. They didn't seem interested in coming after me."
"Alright, let's hope they stay away. When the elves leave, we'll have to seal the fortress again -- we don't want them getting in."

6 Hematite, 1058:
Attention, dwarves of Whiskeybridle: from this day forth, any dwarf not clean-shaven shall be thrown to the elephants. Any dwarf not deemed sufficiently productive shall be thrown to the elephants. Any dwarf actively engaged in sedition against my rule shall be thrown to the elephants. Have a nice day.

   - DuckThatQuacks, Overseer

9 Hematite, 1058:
It seems that the dwarves' motivational problems have evaporated. Nothing like good motivation for producing results.

10 Hematite, 1058:
The elves announced that they would be leaving soon, so we finally got around to trading with them. We gave them several piles of knick-knacks in exchange for wood, food, and drinks.

23 Malachite, 1058:
The otherwise calm summer has been interrupted by a grim event:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I wonder what's so interesting about the caverns that they attract so many ancient horrors.

28 Galena, 1058:
Work continues to proceed smoothly. The men are getting used to doing without their beards. Things are so much nicer now. However, our numbers are few, and our policy of splendid isolation means that no migrants will be coming from the mountainhomes. We'll have to do something about that -- perhaps during the next season.

Another uneventful season. I guess that's what happens when you have thirteen dwarves in a hermetically sealed fort.

Also, rather than risk encountering weird bugs in version .17, I'll just stick with .16 for the remainder of my turn.

[Graebeard]

Probably a good idea to stick with .16 for the time being if the history of odd-numbered releases continues.

Also, this beardlessness is intolerable.  A shaggy beard is one thing, but mine was so neatly combed!  There may be retribution in order once I regain command...

[DuckThatQuacks]

Also, this beardlessness is intolerable.  A shaggy beard is one thing, but mine was so neatly combed!  There may be retribution in order once I regain command...

If you would like to discuss alternatives to beardlessness, you may take it up with our beard-stylist, Mr. L. E. Faunt.

1 Limestone, 1058:
Whiskeybridle has only one chance at long-term prosperity: reproduction. We simply must have children, or our fort will die, and the ravages of time will destroy the smoothness we have worked so hard to create.

Unfortunately, we are all so busy that we rarely have time to talk to each other. I've ordered all dwarves to spend the autumn socializing. Hopefully the forced interaction will produce some lasting relationships.

1 Moonstone, 1058:
Well, that was an unequivocal failure. Not one additional couple after an entire season of mandatory social interaction! I for one blame the unattractiveness of the men -- the beardlessness helps, but they still seem very rough. Oh well, back to work -- there is still smoothing (and a lot of hauling) to do.

3 Sandstone, 1058:
We have a great deal of clutter in the fort, but we've run out of bins! I've ordered a handful of wooden bins built for the short term, and some copper ones for the medium term. But we have limited quantities of wood and copper, and the long-term success of Whiskeybridle depends upon nice, smooth bins (wood in particular does not fit the bill), so I've made sure to implement a long-term solution.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

1 Granite, 1058:
Things are going reasonably well.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I've implemented a number of policies that will ensure that the fort will continue running smoothly. It hardly needs an active leader, now. So I think that I will step aside, and focus on smoothing the rough stone that still remains in the fort.

I know that some of my policies have not been entirely popular (whenever radical changes must be made, there are always those who stubbornly resist, no matter what benefits the changes bring). I have even heard whispers of possible attacks against my life. Fortunately, I've planned for that:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And that concludes my turn. Not much happened, but I feel that I have set us on the path to a better tomorrow. Also:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Map has been uploaded, but I can't seem to see the lower levels (I would have put a P.O.I. for the adamantine mines there): http://mkv25.net/dfma/map-9818-whiskybridle

Save has also been uploaded: http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=3402

[fivex]

I would like to take aother turn here

I think you might have not noticed this post.

[Graebeard]

Great writing, Duck.  I'm really happy with how integrated all the characters are and how the writing's turning out.

I would like to take aother turn here

Year 13 is yours fivex.  Duck, 14 is yours if you want it.  Otherwise I'll open it up to the general public.

lolghurt, it looks like you're up!  Let's keep the hilarity rolling.