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[Argembarger]

Granite

Whiskeybridle is, objectively, an amazing feat of architecture. AND WHY SHOULDN'T IT BE. It's all these dwarves think about. Architecture. Design. Symmetry. Visually pleasing geometry. One would think it would be a great place to live. One would think it would be overflowing with wealth. It's not.

I snuck a look at the most recent ledger. it's pretty depressing.



Great architecture score, like I said - ha ha ha - but look. We have no weapons and armor at all. Whiskeybridle defends itself like a neurotic turtle. Our defense is a series of walls - meticulously scrubbed and gingerly slid into place one at a time, so we can keep track of the total number of bricks in the fortress - and an obsidian drawbridge that is very rarely lowered for any reason.

We have not exported any wealth at all, and it's one of the reasons our numbers continue to dwindle at 13. Part of me wonders why they don't panic due to our population being "unlucky", but the answer is simple of course, 13 is a prime number and therefore acceptable. The dwarves aren't superstitious, at least not in the way I would define superstition. It's not so much irrational as irrational rationality

Oh, and look at the food stocks. I'm all for booze, I love it as much as the next dwarf, but we seem to be forsaking real food for booze. It concerns me somewhat. I take solace in that I am the butcher, and can directly affect this situation.



Anyway, they have constructed a work-area above the dining hall for lots of secondary professions. Butchery, leatherworking, clothing, a kitchen, soapmaking area and more. Not that I'm not grateful for a private workplace, but their sudden interest in my work makes me nervous...

I'll be watching these crazy bastards very, verrrrry carefully.

Slate



...

I'm not surprised. But I feel so isolated. This journal is my only outlet, without it I would probably go insane like the rest.



The dwarves, instead of doing anything to attract migrants and sanity, have decided to smooth every surface in the dining hall. I think I overheard something about "spring cleaning". It kind of disappoints me, the rough, living stone of the dining hall was a cozy reminder of my dwarven heritage and upbringing. Now it looks like every other blasted thing in this fortress: Straight lines, neat, clean, orderly. These dwarves don't even engrave anything, they don't want to ruin the "perfection". Perfection, bah! Give me a melting elephant carved in chalk, a screaming elf of diorite! Give me something dwarvenly to look at!

I mustn't show emotion over this... I have a feeling repeating my faked death won't work a second time should I be caught.

why me? why am I forced to live like this? I remember my grandfather, he was a true dwarf. he would tell me stories of when he and 6 of his best friends went out and struck into a mountain for some easy money. he told me how in his day, dwarves didn't bother building up or digging down. everything they needed was right in front of them. they would dig and dig deeper and deeper into the side of the mountain. so many great stories of amazing battles, untapped riches of the earth, and true dwarves doing true dwarf things. why couldn't I live like that? why?

[Graebeard]

Ha!  Nice character, I love it.  Thanks for the pick-murder reference.

[lolghurt]

Evil others keep opening the fort to the outside. THIS MUST STOP HAPPENING

[Argembarger]

The fort is still sealed off to the rest of the world.

The desires of Argembarger do not reflect the policy of Whiskeybridle.

[Argonnek]

I'll take a stab at this. Year 8 appears to be open, so I'll take that. Name a dwarf Argonnek, please.

[Argembarger]

Felsite

They're digging out noble's quarters.

Nobles quarters. Ha. Like we have any nobles.



Look at these floor plans. Look how bleeding pointless it is. Circles. Ugh. What ever happened to squares? Rectangles? Good, strong Dwarven shapes. These dainty circles... What they see in them is beyond me. We don't need bleeding nobles quarters. I can bet anything they're going to smooth every square inch of that area, too. Out of some misguided sense of purpose.

In more pressing news, the dwarves have noticed the slightly unkempt state of my butchery... I'm no good at keeping my workspace clean... I... I can't help it! I don't have a one-track impossibly-stubborn personality! What's the use in cleaning it off if I'm just going to cover it in blood and gore again?



Xenos came by to visit. I didn't expect that at all. When I said hello, she absolutely freaked out and stormed off. I was wondering what happened, and after a few minutes I realized I had called her "Xenos" instead of "enosX" God damn it. I can't even pronounce "enosX", and that's a problem, expecially when she expects the "x" at the end to be pronounced "X". And she knows.... it's so subtle... I've seen her punch a dwarf square in the throat for mispronouncing the "X" as a lowercase "x". I think mangling her "name" so badly saved me from bodily harm, at least for now. It must have been an overload for her.

...It's times like this that I wished we dwarves used blades for our butchering, like the humans. Tearing the meat from the bones with our bare hands and separating the fat with our beards is wonderfully dwarvenly, but if I had a good carving knife I wouldn't be so nervous all the time.

The years of mining have made her strong. She carries the pick around every day, wiping and polishing it constantly. If she comes back for revenge, I will not survive.

I need to be much more careful.

---------------------------------

An elven caravan arrived. Are we letting them in? Hell no, of course not. Elves are filthy. They live in trees and they never wash themselves because soap is an animal byproduct. Once more, we are forsaking money, supplies and noteriety by clinging to our rigorous standards.

I half-wish the elves would sneak in somehow and kidnap me. I'd take my chances with those cannibalistic treehuggers at this point, at least around them I can act normal.

----------------------------------



Really. Seriously. They're going to carve out that complicated mess of noble's rooms from west to east!?

WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

** The rest of the page has been torn away. What remains is shredded and covered in spit and, presumably, the essence of Dwarven rage. **

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Hematite

It's summer in Whiskeybridle.

I had a delightful conversation with Graebeard II. It sort of went like this.

Graebeard: Ineth, your shop... filthy.
Me: What? No it's no- OH MY GOODNESS LOOK AT THAT MESS HOW DID THAT GET THERE HA HA. (I started cleaning vigorously)
Graebeard: You concern me. Us. You concern us.
Me: Why? WHAT!? I DID NOTHING...-
Graebeard: Correct. You do nothing. (He scrubbed at his hands absentmindedly while he scanned the room)
Graebeard: No more chances... (He walked off)

Isn't he a great guy?

Now imagine 12 dwarves, just like that, but each one with different quirks and all of whom are capable of dangerous violence without hesitation.

----------------------------------------

They have decided that our lack of wood outweighs the unpleasant chaos of the caverns, and they've opened up a small breach to gather some. No doubt it will be quickly walled over again. Cowards.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Malachite

A few mole dogs snuck in when the caverns were opened. We have plenty of wood now, but the mole dogs drank some of our alcohol and had to be killed.

Obviously, they are furious about it. The blood, the vomit, the mole dog corpses, it's all an affront to Whiskeybridled. Bah. So a couple of mole dogs got in. It's not the end of the world.

You wouldn't know it by asking anyone around here though.

---------------------------------------



Yup. They're smoothing out the nobles quarters. Of course! The nobles quarters that nobody will live in! Because we have no nobles! And we are not likely to get any anytime soon! And everyone already has a bedroom!

Genius!

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Galena

Every "normal" bedroom got it's own rock coffer.

Why?

Every dwarf is running around frantically, muttering that there's far too much stone.

So building and crafting projects are going on everywhere to try to rectify the problem. They're going to furnish every noble's room, even though NOBODY WILL LIVE THERE, and I believe they plan to expand upwards somewhat on our already ridiculously-tall tower. Probably something useless but fancy.

Ironically, the reason there is too much stone is because they HAD to have the noble's quarters dug out. It was non-negotiable. Armok help us.

----------------------------------------------



They're finally trying to really break me down.
They ordered the butchering of every puppy in the fortress.
Just the puppies.
I have to snap their cute little necks
I have to carve out their organs and slice their meat up
maybe if I don't look at them it will be easier

------------------------------------------------

it wasnt easier
armok help me i had to listen to the final 'yipe' of every one
their soulful eyes looked up into mine as i exterminated them
why is this my life
help me
anyone

if they dont kill me i may kill myself first
help them help me kill me ha ha ha ha

------------------------------------------------

my hands are dirty, unclean
puppy blood

need soap

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Argonnek has been dwarfed.

I'm aiming for amusing, not soul-crushingly tragic, but I guess I'm cool with either one

Edit: Removed a plot-hole. (Graebeard called me "Argembarger" although nobody should know about that  )

[Argembarger]

Limestone

need soap

lots of soap



ash to make soap, filthy ash
abhorrent

soap for cleanliness
soap for health
soap
soap
soap
soap
soap
soap

**This continues for the rest of the entire journal**

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Well that was fun.

Here's the current status of the fort:



My DFMA Upload of Whiskeybridle, Early Spring 1056

The Saaaaaaaaaaave


For future overseers: My dwarf is now obsessed with making soap. Please indulge him.
Thank you.

Also: Sorry I couldn't get all of the rocks processed... my noble bedroom area was rather too ambitious I'm afraid.

[DuckThatQuacks]

I believe year nine is open. Can I sign up for a turn?

[lolghurt]

WHOEVER PUT THAT MONSTROSITY ON TOP OF MY PROJECT WILL PAY WITH BLOOD

[Argembarger]

I'LL CLEAN THE BLOOD OFF THE FLOOR WITH SOAP

[lolghurt]

I'LL CLEAN THE BLOOD OFF THE FLOOR WITH SOAP

YOU CANNOT YOU WILL BE DEAD FOR IT WAS YOU THAT DID THAT

[Argembarger]

MAYBE

I BLAME JACKRABBIT

[Graebeard]

Yay!  Great turn Argembarger!  I love the nobles quarters.  Top notch story as well.

Looks like I'm up next.  I don't know if I'll have time to play till Monday, but I'm really looking forward to it.  I had an idea for a project... but, I don't know if there's enough labor around to pull it off in a year.  I may have to revise my plans a bit...

Also, I'm opening years 10 and 11.  Year 10 is yours, Argemburger, if you want to take another crack at it down the road.

Oh, and lolghurt, do you need to sign up for a turn to exact your revenge?

I'll take a stab at this. Year 8 appears to be open, so I'll take that. Name a dwarf Argonnek, please.

Done and done.

I believe year nine is open. Can I sign up for a turn?

Absolutely!  Good to have you on board.

[Argembarger]

Thanks for the compliments

Give me turn 11 if you would; I'm sure my dwarf will be content to make a bunch of soap until then (or until something horrible happens and he has an !!unfortunate accident!! under lolghurt's rule)

Until then I'll just sit back and enjoy the ride.

As for your project, yeah. We definitely have a problem with no migrants showing up. I didn't get any at all my entire year.

However, our 13 dwarves are an industrious bunch, and I think two of them are legendary masons/engravers. You might be able to pull it off with some luck, whatever it is.

Also for the record, my original plan for the area above lolghurt's tower was a series of decorative arches, maybe with a catapult platform on top of that for awesome factor, but A. the nobles quarters took too much time and B. thinking of the scaffolding requirements to make an arch, let alone a series of decorative ones, kind of made my brain itch.

Needless to say, the refuse platform function it currently serves is a temporary one at best and I'd like to see some other sweeping architectural feat replace it, to house lolghurt's tomb pyramid in some sort of awesome dome or something.

[lolghurt]

Thanks for the compliments

Give me turn 11 if you would; I'm sure my dwarf will be content to make a bunch of soap until then (or until something horrible happens and he has an !!unfortunate accident!! under lolghurt's rule)

Until then I'll just sit back and enjoy the ride.

As for your project, yeah. We definitely have a problem with no migrants showing up. I didn't get any at all my entire year.

However, our 13 dwarves are an industrious bunch, and I think two of them are legendary masons/engravers. You might be able to pull it off with some luck, whatever it is.

Also for the record, my original plan for the area above lolghurt's tower was a series of decorative arches, maybe with a catapult platform on top of that for awesome factor, but A. the nobles quarters took too much time and B. thinking of the scaffolding requirements to make an arch, let alone a series of decorative ones, kind of made my brain itch.

Needless to say, the refuse platform function it currently serves is a temporary one at best and I'd like to see some other sweeping architectural feat replace it, to house lolghurt's tomb pyramid in some sort of awesome dome or something.

If i am reading this right, I can take year 10?
if so, awesome. Revenge time ^^