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[Graebeard]

Oof, it's not.  Including this one I've got three forts on my plate and a week full of family and their "personal relationships" distracting me from important game-playing time.

Honestly, I'm happy to let someone else take a turn on this right now if they have the time and inclination.

I think the turn list is out of date.  Does anyone want to take a go Whiskeybridle it right now?

[TolyK]

I'm stuck at home 'cause of the flu.

Depending on the development, I might or might not want to go. What turn is this? Sieges yet? Any megaprojects?

I like to turn forts more secure  with autotraps

[Ghills]

I'd like to take a turn. Is it fivex's turn now?

[Graebeard]

Man, I'd nearly forgotten about this fort.  Things have been stalled for a while, but it's a good time to get them moving again.

I'm going to just wipe the turn list and open it back up.  Ghills, you can go ahead and take a turn now, if you'd like.

[Ghills]

OK. Downloading now. Turns are seven days, right? I'll post an update in two days, four days and on the day I upload, unless you want them more frequently or something.

[Xenos]

OK. Downloading now. Turns are seven days, right? I'll post an update in two days, four days and on the day I upload, unless you want them more frequently or something.

Post as frequently as you can.  I just want you to include pictures.

[Ghills]

27 Obisidian, 1059
From Alleyes, Lead Scryer,
Mine Scout, Nosiness
Tosidetur, Mountainhome

To Her Majesty Axeawe
Royal Office, Royal Management
Tosidetur, Mountainhome

Your Majesty, pursuant to your instructions on 26 Obsidian 1059 to use my talents and abilities in the service of my goddess and thy glory, I have gathered all relevant information regarding your late, lamented aunt’s outpost Whiskeybridle.

Whiskeybridle presents a remarkably clean, orderly and symmetrical appearance, therefore it will be no surprise to your majesty when I inform you that it is a penal colony founded for the segregation and fulfillment of dwarves suffering from Orderfun madness. The few normal dwarves that appear to have been sent along as caretakers seem to have all been killed or succumbed to madness themselves, suggesting a distressing contagious component of Orderfun madness that may perhaps lead to a method of treatment. The casualties seem to have been a lower percentage of the population than one would expect given the violence of Orderfun-afflicted dwarves in more common institutions. Of the remaining 13 dwarves, all seem to be content with their strange, regimented lives, suggesting that this seemingly cruel exile is actually a more effective remedy than currently available in the Mountainhome. Whiskeybridle is healthy, with a varied diet and sufficient supplies for work. Of special interest is the discovery of adamantine, and several ancient monstrocities long thought dead.

While attempting to trade or send immigrants to Whiskeybridle might seem tempting at this time, it is our recommendation that contact not be attempted. Orderfun is a serious affliction; doubtless your late, lamented aunt was acting for the good of all when she ordered this penal colony established. The current recommendation of our goddess is that Whiskeybridle be treated as an isolated scouting colony, with any further discoveries of valuable metals mined by the Mountainhome before Whiskeybridle’s few inhabitants can create an effective mining platform in the area. The current state of Whiskeybridle is sufficient proof to consider its inhabitants permanently afflicted with Orderfun, and even the slight suggestion that such madness could be caught by seemingly normal dwarves warrants the strongest quarantine. The cramped and cruel treatment of the animals at Whiskeybridle seems to emphasis the dire nature of Orderfun in its unchecked state.

With all knowledge,
Alleyes, Lead Scryer


28 Obisidian, 1059
From Her Majesty Axeawe
Royal Office, Royal Management
Tosidetur, Mountainhome

To Alleyes, Lead Scryer,
Mine Manager, Nosiness
Tosidetur, Mountainhome

Read your report; Whiskeybridle obviously full of crazy menaces. Do what you want I’m promoting you to Mine Manager for this outpost, I don’t want to hear about it again let me know when you’ve got something useful.

With all power,
Axeawe Ugogish

Someone mentioned in a previous post that our civ was dead...but there is a dwarf civ still in existence. I wasn't dwarfed and it felt like cheating to do that myself, so here we are. I'm going to get an actual fortress post up late today or early tomorrow.

[Graebeard]

Excellent update, I'm glad to see this fort back up.  If you do want to dwarf yourself with a dwarf that hasn't played a part in the story yet (I think there are several) then you can go ahead.  If you have something else planned, though, you can do whatever you like.

[Ghills]

Early Spring 1059
Alleyes, Lead Scryer,
Mine Manager, Nosiness
Tosidetur, Mountainhome

I have been granted the immense honor of Mine Manager, for the remote outpost Whiskeybridle. I hope that my reign will be long and glorious.

I have bought a new notebook to celebrate. The notebook is masterfully crafted and blank, soon to be filled with decorations and notes commemorating the success of my reign over Whiskeybridle. The notebook cover is made of dog leather. Its pages are made of cat parchment. The notebook is adorned with black diamonds. On the cover is a masterfully tooled image of drunken dwarves in harnesses.  I fear that the picture – a reference to the Great Drink of 820 – is not perhaps as solemn as this elevation warrants, but it was the closest I could find on short notice. In an attempt to make this feel more real to me, I have ordered that the back cover be tooled to look like a hatchcover.

Communicating with my dwarves at Whiskeybridle seemed an insurmountable task, as the usual method of liasing with an outpost was not available to me. However, I am not a priest of All Knowledge for nothing. Dwarves afflicted with Orderfun are incapable of resisting seemingly senseless urges. As a priest of All Knowledge, I have the ability to inflict senseless urges when I so choose. Still, dealing with a fort only through scrying leaves something to be desired. I am constantly reassuring myself that this is real, and not simply ink puddles on tablets.

In looking over the state of Whiskeybridle, I have noticed a few areas that need adjustment:
1) The state of animals at Whiskeybridle is abhorrent. Some pets are trapped outside the walls, puppies are allowed to roam at will, and four cages contain all the animals in the fort. While I watched, a jaguar died, so surrounded by dogs it could hardly move. More cages are an immediate must, perhaps arranged tastefully in a zoo?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

2) Stairs in Whiskeybridle remain without exception uncovered. Hatchcovers should be ordered right away. Glass for the olivine stairs, orthoclase for the floor decorated entirely in orthoclase. I must make arrangements to match the color of other floors immediately.

3) There is far too much ore lying about. Poor management of a fort’s second most important resource, right behind dogs! I have ordered the production of alloys immediately, so that tasteful and valuable bars may be stacked out of sight.

4) Some 17 glass boxes have been made, but not installed anywhere! I have sent orders to have them placed in the larger bedroom floor.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

5) Excess stone. I am contemplating ordering decorative slabs for the funeral floors, or perhaps continuing to furnish the empty bedrooms.

6) Children. While I hesitate even now to contemplate deliberately bringing children into this world in a fortress filled with Orderfun afflicted dwarves, themselves likely victims of Orderfun, if it is contagious or inheritable, I must admit that 13 dwarves is not a sufficient number for long-term fort maintenance. While Whiskeybridle is a fort of amazing beauty and order, I do not believe that I will be able to entice my fellows here at the Mountainhome to migrate there.

7) Some elf skeletons are in the refuse stockpile. This is unsightly. Is there anything to be done about this?

8 ) The lack of care for the external holdings of the fort means that thieves, doubtless disgusting little kobolds, are free to pillage at will. While I sympathize with the aversion to dealing with all that land, pillaging kobolds are soon followed by pillaging goblins. We require more cage traps on the off chance that anything untoward may occur.

Arrangements are underway for matters 1, 2, 3 and 4. I must meditate on the possible solutions for 5 and 6. 7 and 8 will doubtless resolve themselves.

 It appears that my superiors feel that there is little we can use in Whiskeybridle, but I am sure that there is some ore in the soil.  I must use this chance to prove it.


From Her Majesty Axeawe Ugogish
To Uncle Ugogish

You old rat. Why do I care about Aunt’s outposts? Why should I be saddled with them after her bankruptcy? And what do you know about this asylum Whiskeybridle? I’ve assigned Alleyes from Nosiness to it. If I’d had this idea I’d have shipped Alleyes off first thing, so assigning him as liason is the closest I can get. Ought to be good for a laugh, if nothing else.

EDIT: Edited to take text out of spoilers because of small font size. Sorry, still new to this.

[Ghills]

19 Felsite 1059
Alleyes, Lead Scryer,
Mine Manager, Nosiness
Tosidetur, Mountainhome

Elves appeared. They want to trade! After an exhaustive review of Whiskeybridle’s current stockpiles, I have determined that we are in dire need of wood, fish, and cages. Hopefully, we have enough useless clutter to trade. While I do not wish to disrupt the current delicate social situation in the fort (dwarves afflicted with Orderfun are always in a delicate social situation), Argemburger Athelteskom is a noticeably better judge of value than any other dwarf in the fort.  I will send him dreams of trading in preparation for when the elves arrive, and hope for the best.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Goblins are following the elves, so we may simply leave both groups outside to face their well-deserved fate.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Goblins have predictably triumphed over the elves. Well, the need was not urgent. We have plenty of food and drink, after all.

This is a masterfully crafted notebook. It is mostly blank, slowly being filled with decorations and notes commemorating the success of Alleyes’ reign over Whiskeybridle. The notebook cover is made of dog leather. Its pages are made of cat parchment. The notebook is adorned with black diamonds. On the cover is a masterfully tooled image of drunken dwarves in harnesses.  On the back page is a tooled image of a hatchcover. On the first page is a picture of dwarves. The dwarves are inside strong white walls, surrounded by piles of hatchcovers and dogs.  On the facing page is a picture of elves and goblins. The goblins are killing the elves. The goblins and elves are outside the walls.

EDIT: Edited to put images in spoilers. I think I'm getting the hang of this.

[Graebeard]

Cool progress.  If you really need cages you can make glass terrariums without wood.

[Ghills]

20 Felsite
Another ancient beast has approached Whiskeybridle! I must commission some studies to determine what about this region is especially attractive to these hidden mysteries. Perhaps the adamantine?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

26 Malachite

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Another forgotten monstrocity! Hopefully our walls will continue to hold. Perhaps they will kill each other off. Yes, that would be the best outcome. Is this 5 or 6 now stalking the lower halls of Whiskeybridle?

This is a masterfully crafted notebook. It is mostly blank, slowly being filled with decorations and notes commemorating the success of Alleyes’ reign over Whiskeybridle. The notebook cover is made of dog leather. Its pages are made of cat parchment. The notebook is adorned with black diamonds. On the cover is a masterfully tooled image of drunken dwarves in harnesses. On the back page is a tooled image of a hatchcover. On the third and fourth pages are depictions of monstrous failures of nature. The monstrous failures are throwing themselves against strong walls.

RL has risen up and infected me with something nasty. Do you people mind if I take an extra day to upload all my pics and get the reports in order? I'm nearly done with the year.

[Graebeard]

Not at all, take your time.

[Ghills]

21 Felsite
Nothing else of great import has occurred. A great deal of work has taken place, of course.
We now have glass hatch covers on many floors, and orthoclase hatch covers on the few floors where they were appropriate. The next step is to place microline hatchcovers where the floor is blue.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The dining room is decorated with tasteful silver cages for corralling animals. The upper east half of the room is for hoofed creatures, the bottom for non-hoofed. The west side is for adult animals and the east side for the young, creating equal quadrants for all possibilities.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I have successfully forced at least a few dwarves to engage in social interaction.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 I have begun installing statues at the current top of the tower, to impress all who enter the region with dwarven might and aesthetics. I may require more microline to finish both this and the microline hatchcovers. We have a great many microline floors, although not all of them have been fully dug to meet the apparently standard tower footprint.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I have also streamlined stockpile management, to better facilitate smelting all this unsightly ore.  Ore smelting has been going very well, so well that I ordered one of the smelters replaced with a glass furnace. I did attempt to put it below to mirror the other glass furnace over the line of smelters, but that was foiled by the constructed floor. Ah, well, hatchcovers are worth minor asymmetry.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This is a masterfully crafted notebook. It is partially blank, slowly being filled with decorations and notes commemorating the success of Alleyes’ reign over Whiskeybridle. The notebook cover is made of dog leather. Its pages are made of cat parchment. The notebook is adorned with black diamonds. On the cover is a masterfully tooled image of drunken dwarves in harnesses. On the back page is a tooled image of a hatchcover.  On the fifth page is a picture of stairs. The stairs are covered with hatch covers.  On the sixth page is a picture of a tower. The tower is cyan, and covered in statues.  On the seventh page is a picture of dogs. The dogs are playing peacefully in cages.

From Uncle Ugogish
To Axeawe Ugogish

Why should you care about Aunt’s outposts? Why should I care about her outposts? You were the one blathering on about how disgraceful it was that some outposts should be abandoned. Well, now they won’t be! I know you’ll take good care of them.

Re: Whiskeybridle, I have no idea. But if Alleyes is the person I’m remembering, are you sure you want to put him in charge of anything remotely interesting? He tends to have very odd moods, as I recall. Make sure he doesn’t get too invested in this fort, or you’ll have him tantruming when a caravan doesn’t get through or for some other stupid reason.

I'll probably be done tomorrow evening. Thanks for the extra time!

[Ghills]

21 Galena

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Humans have arrived!
Finally, some wood! And maybe fish!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Unfortunately, so has an ambush.

12 Sandstone
Another forgotten beast has arrived! What on Thadar Xem is attracting them to this place? Is it a mating ground? A family reunion? I must research this. The subject may require a new notebook, to go with my notebooks on hatchcovers and my notebook on dogs.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This is a masterfully crafted notebook. It is partially blank, slowly being filled with decorations and notes commemorating the success of Alleyes’ reign over Whiskeybridle. The notebook cover is made of dog leather. Its pages are made of cat parchment. The notebook is adorned with black diamonds. On the cover is a masterfully tooled image of drunken dwarves in harnesses. On the back page is a tooled image of a hatchcover.  On the eighth page is a picture of a misbegotten failure of nature. The failure of nature is throwing a party with the monstrous failure of nature from the third and fourth pages. On the ninth and tenth pages is an ink battlefield. The battlefield is covered in goblin and human blood. On the eleventh page is a picture of dwarves in strong walls. The dwarves are laughing.

So when I said it would be done tonight, I obviously meant that I would spend half of the day unconscious and ill in bed, and then injure myself, and then have to deal with a minor natural disaster. I may still get everything uploaded tonight anyway because it's not really safe for me to leave the house and I don't have much else to do.

BTW, for the people who are reading this and feeling intimidated? Don't.  My narrator is obsessed with hatchcovers, statues, and dogs of all things. Somebody else is canonically obsessed with smoothing everything. OCD != makes wonderful architecture. I picked stupid little things to work on because I thought it was funny and I'm new enough that I've never really done !science! or megadwarf projects.

tl;dr: Don't be scared of crazy dwarves. Sign up for a year, and embrace your own special brand of crazy! Fussing over statue placement is more fun than you'd think.