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[Medicine Man]

Have you given up on this?

[Retro]

Have you given up on this?

Dude, he posted an entry like 14 hours before you posted this.

I come from an opposite school of criticism than Superdupermikehailpants or whatever.

Actions can sometimes speak louder than words.

Not relevant. He hasn't been critical in this thread.

[x2yzh9]

Have you given up on this?

No, just busy

[x2yzh9]

Episode 1, Chapter 2 - 2
He heard crazed shouting in the distance, and, squinting, he saw a barricade made from scrap metal. One read 'Ellcott City City Limits, Population 20,395.' He sighed, "Cannibals. Crazy ones, at that. Cannibals are crazy by default, however. I'm fucking talking to myself again!"

Notching the safety off, he closed his right eye and held the scope up to his left. Not many, maybe five cannies. He placed his right hand down on the barrel and held his breath, thinking mentally "One..Two...Three" BAM! One down, four left. The cannies scattered and he picked one off just before it got into cover. Three more left, he thought. He ran behind a shed and leaned out, peaking into the scope. They're not there.

He heard the hum of an engine, and a huge, fortified van emerged from the driveway of a house. He had seen these before, but never had to confront one. He fired like crazy, emptying his clip at the driver's window. Bulletproof, he thought, and ran into the house and hid in the fridge, shooting down a Zed in the process.

BAM! He heard an explosion, and the fridge was knocked over, it's doors opening. Fire surrounded him, and he crawled out, looking at the van. All of them were dead. Or so he thought, walking up to the van, one fell out, and looked up at him.

"Pray for me" John said, and he silenced the man.

Walking from the ashes, he squatted down, examining a necklace. It was golden, with diamond studs. This would sell for a lot, but he knew it was valuable. He would pass it on to his children, and them onto theirs. This would be his heirloom, his legacy.

[Medicine Man]

I'm... I'm not trying to be a dick... But this is just terrible.

[Shade-o]

It is best read aloud in the style of HALF-LIFE: FULL LIFE CONSEQUENCES.

[Medicine Man]

HALF-LIFE: FULL LIFE CONSEQUENCES.

I have never read  that. Is it the fanfic that has the "GORDAIN FREMAN SAVOR OF HUMENS" spelling error?

[Shade-o]

Among others.

[Medicine Man]

I am reading HALF-LIFE: FULL LIFE CONSEQUENCES as I write.

Theres only one thing that can be said.

BWWAHAHAAHAHAAAHAAAA!!!

John Freeman said "Zombie goasts leave this place" and the zombie goasts said "but this is our house" and John Freeman felt sorry for them becaus they couldnt live there anymore because they were zombie goasts so he blew up the house and killed the zombie goasts so they were at piece

*Insert thunderous laugh here*

[Retro]

Unfortunately, Full-Life Consequences was revealed to have been the work of a masterful troll a while back (not that that makes it any less hilarious). x2 doesn't have that excuse.

[x2yzh9]

I'm... I'm not trying to be a dick... But this is just terrible.

What part? Not trying to be smug and say that I'm perfect but it's not helpful when you just say that. Not to mention this is just for fun, and to I guess sideline improve my writing skills.

[Shade-o]

Episode 1, Chapter 2 - 2
He heard crazed shouting in the distance, and, squinting, he saw a barricade made from scrap metal. One read 'Ellcott City City Limits, Population 20,395.' What did the other barricades say? He sighed, "Cannibals. How does he know that they are cannibals? Crazy ones, at that. Cannibals are crazy by default, however. No, they are hungry by default. I'm fucking talking to myself again!"

Notching the safety off, he closed his right eye and held the scope up to his left. Not many, maybe five cannies. Where did they come from? Maybe five? Has he got lazy eye? He placed his right hand down on the barrel and held his breath, thinking mentally As opposed to? "One..Two...Three" BAM! One down, four left. The cannies scattered and he picked one off just before it got into cover. People are usually not gender neutral objects Three more left, he thought. The reader can count, too He ran behind a shed and leaned out, peaking into the scope. I assume that he is in some sort of urban area? They're not there. Why would they? He just shot two of them.

He heard the hum of an engine, and a huge, fortified van emerged from the driveway of a house. Huge, fortified post-apocalypse vans do not hum. Unless they are electric. And it was parked in someone's driveway in suburbia? He had seen these before, but never had to confront one. He fired like crazy, This kind of cool thinking is what enables him to survive in the wasteland. emptying his clip at the driver's window. Surprisingly, the fortified van is not vulnerable to small arms. Bulletproof, he thought, and ran into the house and hid in the fridge, shooting down a Zed in the process. What house? How did he find the fridge so easily? Why hide in a fridge? Has he given up and he's trying to commit suicide? There was a random zombie just waiting by the fridge near a cannibal outpost and garage?

BAM! He heard an explosion, Oh, so that's what BAM! means! and the fridge was knocked over, it's doors opening. Otherwise this adventure might have ended prematurely. Fire surrounded him, and he crawled out, looking at the van. The van drove into the house and exploded? Just like that? All of them were dead. Or so he thought, walking up to the van, one fell out, and looked up at him.

"Pray for me" John said, and he silenced the man. You can't silence somebody being silent. Nor can they pray when they're dead.

Walking from the ashes, he squatted down, examining a necklace. It was golden, with diamond studs. I'm just going to assume he took it from a corpse. This would sell for a lot, but he knew it was valuable. Yes, things that are valuable sell for a lot. However, in a post-apocalypse society jewellery would be worthless. He would pass it on to his children, and them onto theirs. This would be his heirloom, his legacy. He's thinking awfully far ahead.

[Jackrabbit]

Aren't fridges unopenable from the inside?

[x2yzh9]

I'll take what you said to heart, I guess.

[x2yzh9]

Episode 1, Chapter 2 - 3
Walking down a narrow alley, he spotted the large sign of the nearby Wal-Mart, or he damn well thought it was. He had bad eyesight, he couldn't read small text farther than a few yards and had trouble reading large text from afar. He crouched down, remembering the days when the iinfection started, he had read a report from the CDC. It read, "In the onset of infection, within a few minutes over 50% of body cell Mitochondria die off, resulting in the relatively weak condition of the 'Zombie'. They still display ability to sprint for short distances, but without any controlled motion in their arms or legs-Oftentimes they will simply fall trying to sprint, or trip over eachother. While the infection is currently just limited to South Africa(Excluding Johannesburg) we strongly suspect that the infection will spread throughout the world mainly via modern transportation relatively quickly. Mostly due to it's 99.94%(roughly) contagion rate. If you come into contact with it, there is no cure and we highly doubt a vaccine is viable in the situation. We are currently pressing for military deployment to Africa, but the white house has refused."

He stood up and sighed, night was falling. He walked up to the fence and dropped to his stomach and started bearcrawling down the alley. He didn't want the Zeds to get whiff of his scent. He crawled forward, and to his surprise, the parking lot was empty. After looking about his surroundings, he crouched and started moving in towards the entrance.

He heard a growl. He whipped around, but it was too late. The Zombie knocked the rifle out of his hands and he placed his hands on the jaw of the Zombie, pus pouring in between his fingers. He barely managed to refrain from screaming, and the monster bit into his fingers, biting his right ring finger and pinky off. He screamed, pulling out his pistol and emptying the clip. His hands were shaking, and he was losing blood. He looked at his right hand. It was not green, or red, but clear.

He was immune.