Turn XXV
HEADLINES: December 2012 9th
L’Observatore:
Asteroid change path.A large asteroids, several kilometers in diameters suddenly changed orbits yesterday. The asteroid, called DNT-PI-55-GM should pass over Italy next month.
13th
Le Monde:
L’italie, c’est fini?Italy suddenly decided to become a superpower. Dreaded Inter Continental Strategic Macaroni are being built. Alex Juli, the new Caesar has been heard declaring. “I’m gonna fuck’im big-time mothafucka!” during a strategic meeting with Jaroslaw.
15th
The Guardian:
UN takes actions against Polish invasion.As a punishment for the killing of innocent civilians bystanders, Poland has been fined 2$ by the UN. “I hope this will serve as a lesson” said Secretary-General Ban-Ki-Moon.
21th
BBC:
”We’ll give him money anyway!”President Palin said the new Roman Empire would get aid, whether he liked it or not. “We cannot let America-haters dictate our behavior. We’ll give him money at gunpoint if we need to!
29th
Financial Time:
”Italy soon to be a holiday resort again” says analysts.“If he continue on this path, he shall be one of the shortest-lived dictator ever” says Goldman Sachs C.E.O., speaking about Alex Juli. My bet would be that the situation will be normalized by the end of February, but of course that means Italy will miss the holidays seasons.
Psy-Ops: Your psy-ops teams don’t feel motivated due to the lack of fund. (Seriously, how do you want to be motivated without a seminar in the Bahamas?). All they come up with are crappy Che Guevara T-Shirts.
Operation Monsoon: Your glorious troops manage to invade the cocktail bar.
Armies: Your tanks come back, all broken up. It’s hard to come with a coherent narrative of the battle, but it seems it included some kind of laser pink elephant.
Your advisers suggest forbidding your tanks from using ethanol fuel.
Research: You cannot decide whether your scientists have been invading cocktail bars or using ethanol fuel, but they sure didn’t invent anything.
Cuban Invasion Day: Cuban Invasion Days is scheduled on the 25th, to save money by merging it with Christmas.
Player: Phantom
Name: G.D.I. Northern Command.
Leader: Commander Phantom.
Revenue: $1342
Money: $0
Territories:
-Alaska (507$/turn): 2 Regulars (1 Ent.), 1 Transport Ship, 5 Militia
-Japan (500$/turn): 2 Destroyers, 1 Regulars
-Bahamas (19$/turn):
-Dominican Republic of Haiti (63$/turn):1 Militia
-G.D.I. Southern Command (112$/turn): G.D.I.S. Liberation (Destroyer), 1 Militia (Ent.), 1 Regulars (Ent.)
-Honduras (31$/turn): 1 Light Tank (Resting)
-El Salvador (43$/turn):
-Cuba (67$/turn): 3 Regulars, 1 Marines , 1 Jump Jet Troopers
Technologies:
-Jump Jet Troopers
-Basic Psy-Ops
-Advanced Psy-Ops
-Militia Body Armor
-Titan Mk. I
-Basic Rocket Science
Armies: Your troops go through the British like a hot knife through butter. Yummy. They then try to proceed and then go through it like a very hot knife through a bunch of newspaper. Sure, there is a lot of flame and ashes and mess, but they go through.
Name:The Sovereign Nation of Free Poland
Leader:JAROSŁAW
Revenue: $4624
Money: $94
Territories:
-Poland (500$/turn):1 Regulars (Ent.)
-Lithuania (55$/turn): 1 Regulars (Ent.)
-Czech Republic (242$/turn): 1 Regulars (Ent.)
-Slovakia (88$/turn): 1 Regulars (Ent.)
-Austria (374$/turn): 1 Regulars (Ent.)
-Hungary (138$/turn): 1 Regulars (Ent.)
-Germany (1676$/turn): 4 Marines, 2 Light Tanks, 2 Bombers, 3 Regulars
-Denmark (313$/turn): 1 Regulars
-Sweden (443$/turn): 2 Marines, 1 Regulars, 1 Transport Ship
-The Netherlands (795$/turn): 1 Bomber (Resting), 3 Regulars (2 Resting)
Technology:
-Military Indoctrination
-Flechette Weapons
-Flechette Rounds
Administration:Your cruelty has earned you the respect of your bureaucracy. They are obeying your smallest wish as soon as it can be done. See: You did not order them to do anything, and they did nothing!
Name:The Mordorian Empire
Leader:Dark Lord Sauron
Revenue: $1341
Money: $1598
Territories:
-Egypt (512$/turn): 1 Regulars, 1 Destroyers, 4 BFLG parts.
-Sudan (139$/turn): 1 Regulars, 2 Militia
-Lybia (77$/turn): 3 Regulars
-Oman (175$/turn):
-Saudi Arabia (438$/turn): 1 Regulars
-On the Moon:1 BFLG part.
Techs:
-Gauss Ships
-Basic Rocket Science
-Advanced Rocket Science
-Super Advanced Rocket Science
-Space Capsule
-Space Station
-BFLG (Big Fucking Lunar Gun)
Army: The Malian Army manage to push back north of the line and finish your injured militiamen.
Name:The Evil Empire
Leader:RAM
Revenue: $1159
Money Available: $1827
Territories:
-Central African Republic (2$/turn):
-Congo:(36$/turn):2 Militia (Ent.)
-Mozambique (61$/turn):
-Hot-Dog Stand (71$/turn):
-Angola (88$/turn): 2 Transport Ship
-Namibia (20$/turn):
-Tanzania: (45$/turn):
-United South Africa (592$/turn):2 Militia (1 Ent.)
-Botswana (23$/turn):
-Cameroon (44$/turn):
-Nigeria (173 $/turn): 1 Ranger, 1 Militia
-Niger (6$/turn):
-Chad (14$/turn):
-Mauritania (6$/turn): 1 Gauss Ship (Resting), 2 Destroyers
Technologies:
-Military Indoctrination
-Gauss Ships
-Underground Research Complex
-High-Tech Research Equipment
Research:As soon as they hear about your automated factories research, your workers riots and destroy your research facility.
Armies:You invade Armenia without any losses. Which is good, because it’s so damn poor it would never have repaid itself otherwise.
Name:The Brotherhood of NOD
Leader:Kane
Revenue: $3023
Money:$0
Territories:
-Jordan (46$/turn):1 Militia (Ent.)
-Syria (60$/turn): 1 Regulars (Ent.),
-Iraq (124$/turn): 1 Militia (Ent.), 1 Scout
-Turkey (615$/turn): 12 Militia (1 Ent.), 1 Regular (1 Ent.)
-Greater Israel (636$/turn): 1 Regular (Ent.), 1 Militia (Ent.), 2 Bunkers
-Lebanon (54$/turn):1 Regular (Entrenched)
-Kuwait (135$/turn): 1 Militia (Ent.)
-Spain (1000$/turn): 2 Transport Ships, 1 Regulars (Ent.)
-Portugal (228$/turn): 1 Tick Tank, 1 Regulars
-Morocco (106$/tun): N.S.S. Halo (Battleship), 1 Commando, 3 Regulars, 1 Laser Tank
-Armenia (19$/turn):1 Tick Tank, 1 Rangers, 1 Militia, 2 Regulars
Technologies:
-Scouts
-NOD Laser Rifles
-Militia Body Armor
-Basic Psy-Ops
-Advanced Psy-Ops
-Tick Tanks
-Laser Tank
Armies: “You know what’s the difference between Paraguay (Or Uruguay) and a 50-pesos note of the sidewalk? You actually have to do some efforts to pick up the note.” Is now a standard joke in your army.
Research: All your scientists went on strike to protest against the murder of their colleague. It’ll take at least one month to negotiate a settlement (You cannot research anything this turn).
Name:The United Empire of Madagascar
Leader:Demonic spoon
Revenue: $2496
Money: $26
Territories:
Madagascar (530$/turn): 3 Commandos (2 Ent.)
Western Province: (244$/turn) : 3 Militia (Ent.),
Colombia (229$/turn): 1 Regulars (Entrenched)
Northern Province (418$/turn): 3 Militia (Ent.)
Bolivia (35$/turn): 2 Regulars (1 Ent.), 1 Marines, 1 Commando
Chile (162$/turn): 1 Militia (Ent.), 1 Transport Ship
Madagascan Guiana (20$/turn): 1 Marines, 2 Regulars, 1 Militia (Ent.)
Argentina (358$/turn):1 Militia (Ent.)
Uruguay (50$/turn): 3 Regulars, 1 Marines (1 Resting), 1 Commando
Paraguay (50$/turn): 2 Marines, 1 Regulars
Tech:None
Other: "Friends Of America": 300$/turn, 9 turns left.
Economic Warfare:You successfully take over Guinea-Bissau.
Research:Your admen are too depressed by the daily sight of Guinean dying of hunger to invent new jingles and cheesy ads. Rumors has it a few of them turned communists!
Name: Morgan Industries
Leader: C.E.O. Nwabudike Morgan
Color: Gold
Revenue: $2230
Money: $42
Territories:
- Sierra Leone (800$/turn): 4 Regulars (2 Entrenched), Battle Accountants, 1 Manual Turrets
- Guinea-Conakry (411$/turn): 1 Manual Turrets
- Liberia (222$/turn): 1 Manual Turrets, 1 Regulars
-Côte d'Ivoire (47$/turn):
-Guinea-Bissau (0$/turn):
Other:"Friends of America": 750$/turn, 9 turns left.
Techs:
-Manual Turrets
-Computer-Assisted Turrets.
-Economic Education
Army: Your troops couldn’t do a thing against the hordes of Polish soldiers. Your new conscripts were killed while sleeping in their barracks. Meanwhile, a lone destroyer somehow managed to invade Finland.
Research:Too bad your main research facilities were in Sweden…
Finance: Due to bad budgeting, nobody knew how much money was supposed to be in your coffer. An accountant used the confusion to flee with most of it. (Do proper budgets dammit!)
Name: Fascist Union of British Territories
Leader: Andrew Norrington-Wellesley
Revenue: 1973$
Money: 1$
Territories:
Great-Britain (500$/turn): 1 Regulars (Ent.)
Norway (433$/turn): 3 Regulars (1 Ent.), 1 Transport Ship
Finland (240$/turn): 1 Destroyer
Other:"Friends of America": 800$/turn, 9 turns left.
Tech:
-Military Indoctrination
-Spy
Research:You manage to protect the prototypes from your troops long enough to test it. It is a success. (Artillery Platform: Cannot move, 400$, Defense: 16, negates tanks and ships by 14).
Name: The Ghostfang Brotherhood
Leader: Rama IX
Revenue: 1623$
Money: 62$
Territories:
Thailand (516$/turn): 1 Militia (Entrenched), 1 Destroyer, 1 Light Tank, 2 Regulars
Laos (92$/turn): 1 Regulars (Entrenched)
Vietnam (92$/turn): 1 Regulars (Entrenched)
Cambodia (23$/turn):1 Regulars (Entrenched)
Other:"Friends of America": 900$/turn, 9 turns left.
Tech:
-Manual Turrets
-Computer-Assisted Turrets.
-Guerrilla Tactics
-Artillery Platform
Armies:Your troops are pushed back by the Uzbek.
Name: The Frigid Republic
Leader: Victor Prosky
Revenue: 1750$
Money: 250$
Territories:
-Kazakhstan (500$/turn): 4 Regulars (2 Resting), 1 Light Tank, 1 Mig 23 ( Fighters)
Other: "Friends of America": 1250$/turn, 9 turns left.
Name: The New Roman Empire
Leader: Alex Juli
Revenue: 1800$
Money: 500$
Territories:
-Italy (500$/turn): 4 Regulars
Other: "Friends of America": 1300$/turn, 10 turns left.
I think USEC hacked my computer to destroy the previous attempt at running this turn. Instead of losing all his troops in the Netherlands, he now owns a 800$-a-turn country.